Anonymous
07/06/2015 19:35
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I don't think it matters.
If you need it to be done, want it done - then insist that it be done. You need the help. That's a good reason.
If you need it to be done, want it done - then insist that it be done. You need the help. That's a good reason.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 19:32
Subject: Re:chores--how much does it matter?
Both DD and DS know how to do household chores very well and used to do them... but high school classes, extracurricular activities, volunteering and sports truly ended their free time. I took everything back and now do everything just to give them a little breathing room.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 14:53
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Routine chores for children are an important part of responsible parenting. Even at age one, your child can help you put away a toy. The sooner you start, the easier it is down the road, but it's never too late to start.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 09:46
Subject: Re:chores--how much does it matter?
My kids are generally expected to just clean up after themselves, and help out with other chores as needed or when the time is right.
So they pick up their belongings around the house, keep their rooms, bathroom clean. I feel that they learn a lot from having complete control and responsibility for their own rooms. Besides keeping them clean, dusted, and vacuumed, they are also learning to organize and decorate. They are learning how to make their space for comfortable and functional. They have also learned that having a lot of belongings means more work. So they are good at weeding out the things they no longer need or want, and they are good at not buying things that are ultimately just clutter.
Around age 6, they started putting their laundry away because it just made sense that they would know where everything is and start working on organizing things the way they want. Around age 12, it made sense for them to start washing their own clothes so that they could have more control over when certain things get washed - like if they want to have something particular clean and ready for a certain day.
When I started letting them stay home alone, it became necessary for them to learn how to prepare simple meals and snacks.
When I need/want help with other stuff, they pitch in. Household chores are not rocket science. They don't need 18 years of experience before they are out on their own.
I do struggle with teaching them to cook. I am not a great cook and was not taught enough before leaving home. Can someone post a list of kitchen skills that kids should learn?
So they pick up their belongings around the house, keep their rooms, bathroom clean. I feel that they learn a lot from having complete control and responsibility for their own rooms. Besides keeping them clean, dusted, and vacuumed, they are also learning to organize and decorate. They are learning how to make their space for comfortable and functional. They have also learned that having a lot of belongings means more work. So they are good at weeding out the things they no longer need or want, and they are good at not buying things that are ultimately just clutter.
Around age 6, they started putting their laundry away because it just made sense that they would know where everything is and start working on organizing things the way they want. Around age 12, it made sense for them to start washing their own clothes so that they could have more control over when certain things get washed - like if they want to have something particular clean and ready for a certain day.
When I started letting them stay home alone, it became necessary for them to learn how to prepare simple meals and snacks.
When I need/want help with other stuff, they pitch in. Household chores are not rocket science. They don't need 18 years of experience before they are out on their own.
I do struggle with teaching them to cook. I am not a great cook and was not taught enough before leaving home. Can someone post a list of kitchen skills that kids should learn?
Anonymous
07/06/2015 09:44
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Anonymous wrote:Eh, I really don't think it matters that much. My brother never did any chores, cooking, or handiwork around the house when he was a kid. As an adult, he keeps an absolutely spotless home, is a terrific cook, and recently replaced all the windows and trim in his house. He's *extremely* handy, and all self-taught as an adult.
Well, my bro is the complete opposite - never had chores, and when he moved out, couldn't cook or clean. He was still living like a slob and eating junk food until he finally got married at 40. Now, his wife does everything.
My mom kept asking me to set him up with one of my friends. I told her I liked my friends too much to subject them to a slob. I lived with him for a few years after college. He was hard to live with.
I'm making sure my 10 yr old DS knows how to keep house and cook. He takes out the trash, cooks his breakfast, and helps his dad around the house. My bro never did any of those things.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 09:20
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Make a list of skills your kids need in order to fuction successfully. Start checking things off that list. I think it's fine if you do the dishes most of the time, but they should know how to wash dishes by hand, how to load a dishwasher properly, etc.
My list would look a bit like this:
Finances:
how to create a budget
How to use a credit card
How to build savings
Personal:
How to schedule doctor/dentist appointments
How to obtain medical insurance and how insurance works (deductible, etc.)
How to treat basic wounds/burns at home
First aid/CPR
How to properly care for their bodies (bathing, brushing, flushing, etc.)
Basics of nutrition
Home:
how to do laundry
How to plan/shop for/prepare basic meals
How to keep their room tidy
How to clean a bathroom
How to clean up after a meal
Basics of food safety (how to thaw meat, avoid cross-contamination, etc.)
How to use a stove, oven, microwave
How to wash dishes and load a dishwasher
How to do basic housecleaning (dusting, windows, etc.)
Car:
How to change a tire
How to check oil
How to fill gas
There's more I am sure, but this is off the top of my head. Think of it as a countdown: how long until they have to actually practice this skill every day in addition to schoolwork, instruments, etc. (because that stuff gets more demanding in college; it doesn't disappear)? Right now my kids have 12 more years and we have checked off a few things on each list. If I were you, I would do something like every Saturday you pick one kid to teach on skill (clean the bathroom together, make dinner together, etc.) and do that until they have worked on a given skill on at least 10 different occasions. Then you can check it off the list.
I would add these to the car:
How to wash the windows without leaving streaks
How to change the air filter
How to add windshield washer fluid
How to check tire pressure
How to jump a battery
How to add coolant to the radiator
How to check oil and know when to add more (and that that would mean you have a leak)
How to change the oil filter
How to know when something is going wrong and have an idea of what to do (ie. when it's appropriate to find the nearest mechanic vs. adding water to the radiator until you can find a gas station or auto parts store)
My mom made sure I knew how to change the tire to the spare, could pump gas without it going everywhere and could change the oil. Some of the things that I listed (adding water to the radiator in an emergency) I learned on the fly, without or without learning the hard way and getting hurt.
Not a How To, but I would add that a flashing engine light means you should pull over immediately and have your car towed. Learned that one the hard way.
Anonymous
07/05/2015 18:31
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I give my 11 yo an allowance of $7/week. She has to keep her room clean/orderly, put away all clothes, clean the "hangout" room she shares with her brother, stay on top of calendar items (school and activities), and perform "other duties as assigned."
My son is learning - but it's been more challenging.
My son is learning - but it's been more challenging.
Anonymous
07/05/2015 12:35
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
We've been giving our kids chores to do from an early age. It's important that they know which cleaning product to use on which surface, how to read directions. How to mow the lawn, rake leaves, pull weeds, water house plants. How to do the laundry, wash the car. Take care of pets (including training). How to shop for clothes, food and how to pay for items at the cash register. How to fill the car with gas, check the oil, tire pressure, fill the windshield wiper fluid and where to take the car for oil changes.
They don't have to be experts at everything by the time they leave the house. But they at least know the difference between bleach and windex.
They don't have to be experts at everything by the time they leave the house. But they at least know the difference between bleach and windex.
Anonymous
07/05/2015 12:19
Subject: Re:chores--how much does it matter?
Anonymous wrote:my mom droped me off at the dorm and showed me how to operate a washing machine the same dayHer view was that I was quite busy with school and activities , so I largely did not do chores. I learned household tasks gradually over the course of different living situaions like the dorm, studying abroad, etc.
Actually, by sophomore year of college, I was a better cook than my mom
You have a housekeeper, correct?
Anonymous
07/04/2015 21:50
Subject: Re:chores--how much does it matter?
my mom droped me off at the dorm and showed me how to operate a washing machine the same day Her view was that I was quite busy with school and activities , so I largely did not do chores. I learned household tasks gradually over the course of different living situaions like the dorm, studying abroad, etc.
Actually, by sophomore year of college, I was a better cook than my mom
Her view was that I was quite busy with school and activities , so I largely did not do chores. I learned household tasks gradually over the course of different living situaions like the dorm, studying abroad, etc.
Actually, by sophomore year of college, I was a better cook than my mom
Anonymous
07/04/2015 14:03
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Anonymous wrote: I am the poster with the long list of skills that I want my kids to have before leaving the house. I wanted to add that for me the actual motivation and having them help as much as my kids do is less about learning the skills and more about the fact that
1) as a young adult, there were many things that I simply didn't attempt because I wasn't confident that I had the skill set to do them. Whenever possible I want my kids to have evidence that they are competent people who can make a life for themselves. If they can look back at all of the skills they have mastered, I hope that that will increase their self-confidence overall.
2) I want my kids to be successful in their future relationships. I know way too many adults who walked around thinking that their partner would just take care of everything and ended up bombing and otherwise decent relationship simply because they did not have an instinctive understanding that being part of a family/household requires everyone to step up and put their shoulder to the wheel. I want my kids to grow up with an instinctive understanding that if everyone else in the room is working to get dinner ready, they should not be sitting in the corner texting someone, they should be asking how they can help or seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked.
This is important, people.
Anonymous
06/30/2015 14:02
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
My kid does chores because she is a part of our family. We all pitch in to make our household run smoothly.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 21:11
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
Eh, I really don't think it matters that much. My brother never did any chores, cooking, or handiwork around the house when he was a kid. As an adult, he keeps an absolutely spotless home, is a terrific cook, and recently replaced all the windows and trim in his house. He's *extremely* handy, and all self-taught as an adult.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 20:58
Subject: chores--how much does it matter?
I am the poster with the long list of skills that I want my kids to have before leaving the house. I wanted to add that for me the actual motivation and having them help as much as my kids do is less about learning the skills and more about the fact that
1) as a young adult, there were many things that I simply didn't attempt because I wasn't confident that I had the skill set to do them. Whenever possible I want my kids to have evidence that they are competent people who can make a life for themselves. If they can look back at all of the skills they have mastered, I hope that that will increase their self-confidence overall.
2) I want my kids to be successful in their future relationships. I know way too many adults who walked around thinking that their partner would just take care of everything and ended up bombing and otherwise decent relationship simply because they did not have an instinctive understanding that being part of a family/household requires everyone to step up and put their shoulder to the wheel. I want my kids to grow up with an instinctive understanding that if everyone else in the room is working to get dinner ready, they should not be sitting in the corner texting someone, they should be asking how they can help or seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked.
1) as a young adult, there were many things that I simply didn't attempt because I wasn't confident that I had the skill set to do them. Whenever possible I want my kids to have evidence that they are competent people who can make a life for themselves. If they can look back at all of the skills they have mastered, I hope that that will increase their self-confidence overall.
2) I want my kids to be successful in their future relationships. I know way too many adults who walked around thinking that their partner would just take care of everything and ended up bombing and otherwise decent relationship simply because they did not have an instinctive understanding that being part of a family/household requires everyone to step up and put their shoulder to the wheel. I want my kids to grow up with an instinctive understanding that if everyone else in the room is working to get dinner ready, they should not be sitting in the corner texting someone, they should be asking how they can help or seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked.
Anonymous
06/29/2015 19:58
Subject: Re:chores--how much does it matter?
We can't afford to outsource any household work. Our kids do chores because DH and I don't believe we should be the only ones working around the house. Everyone needs to contribute in a family. There's still plenty of time for kids to do homework, practice their instruments, extracurriculars, etc. We've taught them to do a little bit every day so it doesn't pile up. If they have an activity that really does preclude them from doing chores on a particular day, we work it out - just like DH and I do with each other. Every day after school, kids get 20 minutes of free time. They have to practice instruments for 20 minutes, clean for 20 minutes, walk the dogs for 40 minutes and do their homework. They pack lunches the night before and can prepare simple meals They also all can do laundry (putting away is still a work in progress). The oldest is 12, the youngest is 8. It makes my life a lot easier to have the kids do stuff, the house looks a lot better, the kids respect the work more and it makes them much more independent.