Anonymous
06/25/2015 01:09
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with a boy and when he's born I want to get him circumcised but my husband is agaisnt it. How do I win this argument and convince him it's the best thing to do?
Before you decide, you and your husband might want to read these two articles.
[url]
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201109/myths-about-circumcision-you-likely-believe[/url]
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201109/more-circumcision-myths-you-may-believe-hygiene-and-stds
Anonymous
06/25/2015 01:02
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
We weren't sure: DH is Jewish but he wasn't adamant about it so we asked my cousin who is a urologist (the adult kind) but born in another country where circumcision is not routine and who is himself not circumcised. My cousin said if it was his son, he would circumcise so that is what we did.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 00:43
Subject: Re:Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:Oh! This one.
Your child isn't going to "look like" your husband until he is well into his teens (unless you are Greek or something. I'm Italian, no hate.) That said. This isn't your husbands decision! You are the one growing this penis, are you going to take a bit of ownership about cutting some of it off?
I did. I have two boys, I circumcised both of them. I live in a place where that is simply what one does. And you know what? I'm okay with that.
I shave my legs. I have pierced ears. My boys wear short hair, my girls, long hair (though thats recent), she also adorns earrings. I like cultural norms. And to those who call it barbaric? do you ……put orthodontics on your children? pierce their ears? Do you monitor their diets? Against their wills, perhaps? Do you immunize them? Shoot them full of chemicals containing all sorts of disease? (I do that too….but work with me here). IF you do those things you are disregarding the autonomy of your child. So you've already crossed the line. I just crossed it farther to conform with the 90% rate of white boys in my area who are circumcised.
As a woman who grew up in this area (not proud) the first time I encountered an uncut one I was………………24? He was Australian. I admit that after he flew me out to Arizona and we…..did all that stuff I was having flash backs to a Marty Stauffer video about wild pigs. I didn't like it. I'm not proud to say that but when he wanted to move me to Australia I said no, because of ….well, I just wasn't used to those bits. Had it been the norm I'm sure we may have had a smashing life in Aus. But. Cultural norms. THey matter. And LADIES. THey aren't "UP TO DADDY". That is so weird. MAke an informed decision. My last 2 were performed my a mohel because they were home births…even though we aren't jewish. I'd rather do that then go to the hospital after a calm birth ~ so , yes, I saw it,and yes, it was okay,and yes, I stand by my decision.
So much wow in this post.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 00:40
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:He's the one with a penis, I think the advantage goes to him. I let my dh decide for our son.
She'll probably be the one taking care of most of the diapers and toilet training so she should decide.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 00:26
Subject: Re:Disagreement with my husband
Oh! This one.
Your child isn't going to "look like" your husband until he is well into his teens (unless you are Greek or something. I'm Italian, no hate.) That said. This isn't your husbands decision! You are the one growing this penis, are you going to take a bit of ownership about cutting some of it off?
I did. I have two boys, I circumcised both of them. I live in a place where that is simply what one does. And you know what? I'm okay with that.
I shave my legs. I have pierced ears. My boys wear short hair, my girls, long hair (though thats recent), she also adorns earrings. I like cultural norms. And to those who call it barbaric? do you ……put orthodontics on your children? pierce their ears? Do you monitor their diets? Against their wills, perhaps? Do you immunize them? Shoot them full of chemicals containing all sorts of disease? (I do that too….but work with me here). IF you do those things you are disregarding the autonomy of your child. So you've already crossed the line. I just crossed it farther to conform with the 90% rate of white boys in my area who are circumcised.
As a woman who grew up in this area (not proud) the first time I encountered an uncut one I was………………24? He was Australian. I admit that after he flew me out to Arizona and we…..did all that stuff I was having flash backs to a Marty Stauffer video about wild pigs. I didn't like it. I'm not proud to say that but when he wanted to move me to Australia I said no, because of ….well, I just wasn't used to those bits. Had it been the norm I'm sure we may have had a smashing life in Aus. But. Cultural norms. THey matter. And LADIES. THey aren't "UP TO DADDY". That is so weird. MAke an informed decision. My last 2 were performed my a mohel because they were home births…even though we aren't jewish. I'd rather do that then go to the hospital after a calm birth ~ so , yes, I saw it,and yes, it was okay,and yes, I stand by my decision.
Your child isn't going to "look like" your husband until he is well into his teens (unless you are Greek or something. I'm Italian, no hate.) That said. This isn't your husbands decision! You are the one growing this penis, are you going to take a bit of ownership about cutting some of it off?
I did. I have two boys, I circumcised both of them. I live in a place where that is simply what one does. And you know what? I'm okay with that.
I shave my legs. I have pierced ears. My boys wear short hair, my girls, long hair (though thats recent), she also adorns earrings. I like cultural norms. And to those who call it barbaric? do you ……put orthodontics on your children? pierce their ears? Do you monitor their diets? Against their wills, perhaps? Do you immunize them? Shoot them full of chemicals containing all sorts of disease? (I do that too….but work with me here). IF you do those things you are disregarding the autonomy of your child. So you've already crossed the line. I just crossed it farther to conform with the 90% rate of white boys in my area who are circumcised.
As a woman who grew up in this area (not proud) the first time I encountered an uncut one I was………………24? He was Australian. I admit that after he flew me out to Arizona and we…..did all that stuff I was having flash backs to a Marty Stauffer video about wild pigs. I didn't like it. I'm not proud to say that but when he wanted to move me to Australia I said no, because of ….well, I just wasn't used to those bits. Had it been the norm I'm sure we may have had a smashing life in Aus. But. Cultural norms. THey matter. And LADIES. THey aren't "UP TO DADDY". That is so weird. MAke an informed decision. My last 2 were performed my a mohel because they were home births…even though we aren't jewish. I'd rather do that then go to the hospital after a calm birth ~ so , yes, I saw it,and yes, it was okay,and yes, I stand by my decision.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 00:23
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want any girls who make fun of penises around my boy, and high school is only 4 years. They'll grow out of that talk and will be discussing pros and cons of circumcision as soon as they have sons.
About that callused penis-never seen one, but the circumcised ones sure have been numb as hell. Takes a lot of work to get them going compared to the uncut ones.
They all eventually become callused if they are uncut, that is the "numbness". It doesn't look like a callus on a thumb, its tiny, rough lines.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 00:21
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
I wouldn't want any girls who make fun of penises around my boy, and high school is only 4 years. They'll grow out of that talk and will be discussing pros and cons of circumcision as soon as they have sons.
About that callused penis-never seen one, but the circumcised ones sure have been numb as hell. Takes a lot of work to get them going compared to the uncut ones.
About that callused penis-never seen one, but the circumcised ones sure have been numb as hell. Takes a lot of work to get them going compared to the uncut ones.
Anonymous
06/25/2015 00:04
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:
If your husband is intact and wants the kid intact let him alone
OP here, he's cut. His only real argument is he doesn't think it's necessary (he doesn't really have anything to back it up). I brought up the "looks like his father" argument as well as health (lower risk of STDs and UTIs, and making it impossible to get phimosis or penis cancer), hygiene (no smegma and less mess when potty training), and social (I'm only a few years out of the high school he will be going to and I can clearly remember girls talking about how nasty uncircumcised boys and even which boys to avoid because they weren't circumcised, and I don't want my son to go through that) reasons for not opting him out of the circumcision, but he still wants to opt him out.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 20:58
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Circumcision is barbaric. Please don't mutilate your son by removing the most functional and sensitive part of his sex organ. Consider if you were removing the inner labia of your daughter because it might be "cleaner".
It is far from barbaric. Calm down.
That said, you need to listen to your husband. If he is against it, I wouldn't go throug wit it.
You are cutting a functional sex organ... on an infant.
Not the organ, a skin that's hanging off, but that is not important here. The fact that her husband is against it is what matters.
Skin is an organ.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 20:09
Subject: Re:Disagreement with my husband
Is your husband circumcised?
I'd discuss your views with him, but yield to him on the final decision. I'm a circumcised man and I only had daughters but if I'd had a son I'd have wanted him circumcised. I think many men simply want their sons to look like dad. That's why I asked the first question.
I'd discuss your views with him, but yield to him on the final decision. I'm a circumcised man and I only had daughters but if I'd had a son I'd have wanted him circumcised. I think many men simply want their sons to look like dad. That's why I asked the first question.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:49
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
OP, why don't you both research the pros and cons and then discuss?
I was anti-circ. My husband was pro-circ, for religious reasons. I researched the heck out of it 9-10 years ago, and at that time, most studies showed benefits. So I ended up changing my mind, and I'm glad I did.
However, this "is" changing a little baby's body. I think you need to give "serious" weight to the person who is against it. This is an act where both parents need to be on board 100%. Or else don't do it.
I was anti-circ. My husband was pro-circ, for religious reasons. I researched the heck out of it 9-10 years ago, and at that time, most studies showed benefits. So I ended up changing my mind, and I'm glad I did.
However, this "is" changing a little baby's body. I think you need to give "serious" weight to the person who is against it. This is an act where both parents need to be on board 100%. Or else don't do it.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 19:43
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Husband wins. He has the penis.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:53
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
oP I was in your exact same situation. My husband refused to allow our son to be circumcised.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:53
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with a boy and when he's born I want to get him circumcised but my husband is agaisnt it. How do I win this argument and convince him it's the best thing to do?
You can't, because it's not.
I'm a cut man who left his son intact.
Anonymous
06/24/2015 18:51
Subject: Disagreement with my husband
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Re circumcision, I let DH have the deciding vote, since he's male.
For other issues, you each explain your position, listen respectfully to the other, seriously consider their viewpoint, and come to agreement.
Nonsensical. He has no more right over this decision than you do.
NP (and female)
I agree with pp. If two people disagree, let the person who has experience with the equipment make the decision - that person does have a little bit more weight. And if your son wants a circumcision later, he can get one.