mine are 1/2 hour away. we generally seem them 2-3 times a week. they'll pick up the kids once or twice a week and spend the afternoon with them until I'm home from work. and usually see them for about 3-4 hours once on the weekend - they'll often watch the kids or take them somewhere while we run errands, or we'll all hang out together while we're getting some stuff done around the house or go for a walk around the neighborhood or visit a museum or something.

I see my MIL once a week so she can see the baby. My DH and I see her about once every month or so. We see my FIL much less often, but we wish it were more. He is over 80 and should not drive so we drive to him.

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift my parents ever gave me was time every week with my grandparents. I know it was not always easy. Sometimes people had to bite their tongue and stifle their pride, but everyone put my brother's and sister's and I first in the relationship triangle. It taught me a lot about family, accepting that we cannot change everyone to suit ourselves, how to be tolerant of different world views and how to love comes in many forms. I am so thankful my parents could see beyond petty differences to give me this wonderful experience in my childhood.

This sounds good in theory. But being "tolerant of different world views" does not mean me having to put up with my MIL's racism (I am Asian). To me, this is not a "petty difference" that I need to accept. Especially for the sake of my kids.

Sad so many folks here have trouble with their families...

The greatest gift my parents ever gave me was time every week with my grandparents. I know it was not always easy. Sometimes people had to bite their tongue and stifle their pride, but everyone put my brother's and sister's and I first in the relationship triangle. It taught me a lot about family, accepting that we cannot change everyone to suit ourselves, how to be tolerant of different world views and how to love comes in many forms. I am so thankful my parents could see beyond petty differences to give me this wonderful experience in my childhood.

I have a straight daughter so I am not too worried about having a DIL like me. Although, I have been a wonderful DIL. If my MIL had not sh*t all over me and my family when I was first married, I would probably make more of an effort. She is reaping what she sowed.

Anonymous wrote:MIL lives a 45 minute drive away. We see her for Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday, and Easter. My husband is welcome to plan more time to see her, but does not. Every once in a while he will announce that "we" need to see his mom more often. I smile and say, "we sure do!" And then I do nothing. We see her when I make the plans to see her.

My family lives in the same zip code. We see them a few times per month for dinner.

Won't it be just wonderful if you get a daughter-in-law just like you some day.

In-laws live 10 minutes away and they are both retired in their late sixties. They constantly complain they do not see the grandkids enough (ages 4, 4, 7). I let them know they are welcome to plan anything any time. They never do. With three kids and a full-time job, I do not plan on being their cruise director. So, we see them when DH plans something - around 6 times a year.

MIL lives a 45 minute drive away. We see her for Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday, and Easter. My husband is welcome to plan more time to see her, but does not. Every once in a while he will announce that "we" need to see his mom more often. I smile and say, "we sure do!" And then I do nothing. We see her when I make the plans to see her.

My family lives in the same zip code. We see them a few times per month for dinner.

local parents are 10 minutes away. i see them almost daily. probably 4X/week. they do a lot of pick up and drop off of our kids, so sometimes, i'm seeing them in transit.

My parents and inlaws are about 20 min away. We see each set weekly on the weekends. Wendonhave a once a month scheduled dinner at their houses or ours (not all together all the time) and then there are unstructured visits where I see my parents, shop with my mom and DH sees his once a weekend or every other. Everyone is pretty busy wih their own lives (work, hobbies, volunteering) so I know they're not sitting at home waiting for us to visit.
I like spending time with each set separately in activities that appeal to them that way everyone gets something positive out of the experience an we hae stuff to talk about. We don't have kids but are planning to so it may all change.

I don't want to hang out all day with anyone!

In laws are about a 30-60 minute drive away. We aim to see them every other weekend for about two hours. They don't like to do anything, so we sit around and "talk" while the TV is on. When our kids are older, hopefully it will be better.

If I were in-town to my parents, I'd try for a weekly dinner together - maybe early dinner on Sundays? My parents would also offer us a weekly date night, probably Fridays, if we were in town - so they'd get to see the kids twice and we'd hang out with them 1xweek. Well, my brother lived closer and that's the arrangement they had until they moved a bit farther.

For all-day hang-outs, I don't think we'd do that every week. It's a bit much and my parents work and have their own lives. Maybe if there was a special activity they wanted to take the kids to - like a day at Sea World or something, then sure that's cool, but it wouldn't be every week and it wouldn't be my entire family + both my parents.

Anonymous wrote:In-laws live 45 minutes away. Every Sunday at 10 am they're here for brunch. Sometimes we cook, sometimes we go out. We have four kids and they understand that the kids have lives and sometimes can't attend brunch. They generally stay until at least 2pm, sometimes through dinner - depends what we and they have going on. Last weekend Grandpa went to see Entourage with us while Grandma stayed home with the under-10's.

They also come for school plays, last games of the season, award ceremonies, etc.

You just described my childhood. Having my maternal grandparents as a constant presence in my life was the greatest blessing ever.

In-laws live 45 minutes away. Every Sunday at 10 am they're here for brunch. Sometimes we cook, sometimes we go out. We have four kids and they understand that the kids have lives and sometimes can't attend brunch. They generally stay until at least 2pm, sometimes through dinner - depends what we and they have going on. Last weekend Grandpa went to see Entourage with us while Grandma stayed home with the under-10's.

They also come for school plays, last games of the season, award ceremonies, etc.