Anonymous wrote:Yes, why does he need a smart phone? How about a flip phone? He's 12!!!!!!!!

I'm all about face-to-face conversations and building social skills, which this generation lacks. But let's face it; we're not going back to the Stone Ages unless WWIII hits.

It's our duty to train our kids how to use their phones in a responsible manner.

Anonymous wrote:I check my DS phone and found out he has been sexting a girl! They even exchanged pictures! I have had the talk with him an explain that there are to be no pictures of body parts sent. Most of the conversation was started by the girl sending pictures and making comments. I made him read the law about sexting, and I think it scared him. I don't know what else to do. I have taken away his smart phone. I would like to tell him that he can not talk to this girl, but I feel that would just make him want to talk to her more.

Good for you for taking his phone!

Do you know a cop who's a friend? If not, they will talk to your son! Call the police department. Maybe you can get a group together for more bang for your buck sort of thing.

In Virginia, police are not required to notify parents or guardians when questioning minors. In fact, they specifically wait until kids are at school to question them. If your child has the cojones in the face of a uniformed police officer to say they want an attorney, the officer is supposed to stop all questioning. Most kids don't. If the officer has enough to charge without a statement, the kid would get charged at that time. If there wasn't enough evidence to charge, the kid would get sent back to class, but might still be charged if the officer is able to gather enough evidence to charge absent a statement. Either way, the officer would not call you to notify you that they had questioned your kid.

If the kid says only that they want their parent, the officer has no obligation to stop the interview and no obligation to notify the parents. So no. If your kid is able to ask for a parent, most are completely overwhelmed and don't ask for anyone, they will be ignored and the investigating officer will continue with their interview.

Anonymous wrote:This is 11:12 posting again. Generally how this goes is:

1. Girl's family finds out that boy has a) texted girl pics of his junk; and/or b) boy has texted naked pics of girl (that girl texted to him) to other boys.

2. Girl's family calls the police.

3. Police investigate. In NOVA, the school resource officer in public school calls the named kids in to talk to them. No, they don't notify anyone's parents that these talks are happening. No they are not required to notify the parents. 99.99% the kids being questioned fold like a cheap suit and admit all of their wrong doing and, providing that the SRO read each child Miranda warnings, the statements made in this meeting *will* be used against the interviewed child. SRO gets search warrants for all phones involved.

4. SRO files charges against any kid that has a naked pic of a child on their phone and against any kid that has sent a naked pic of a kid to anyone else.

5. Parents of charged kids are notified that their kids are charged and flip the eff out.

6. Parents of the girl who called the police in the first place are stupefied that their daughter got charged too. They flip the eff out too.

There was a case in PW County last year that made the news. The boy's case made the news. It was on TV and in the papers and had a lot of notoriety. What did not make the news was that the girl involved was charged as well.

Wow, really? I was under the impression that minors could have their parents present when questioned by police. I've told my kids not to answer questions such as those that would be asked in such a case without having spoken to me and an attorney. I've told them to reply, "I'm sorry officer, I have nothing further to say until I've spoken to my mother and an attorney" after giving the basics such as their name, address, and proof of ID if applicable. Am I wrong here and they really won't contact me?

Yes, why does he need a smart phone? How about a flip phone? He's 12!!!!!!!!

This is 11:12 posting again. Generally how this goes is:

1. Girl's family finds out that boy has a) texted girl pics of his junk; and/or b) boy has texted naked pics of girl (that girl texted to him) to other boys.

2. Girl's family calls the police.

3. Police investigate. In NOVA, the school resource officer in public school calls the named kids in to talk to them. No, they don't notify anyone's parents that these talks are happening. No they are not required to notify the parents. 99.99% the kids being questioned fold like a cheap suit and admit all of their wrong doing and, providing that the SRO read each child Miranda warnings, the statements made in this meeting *will* be used against the interviewed child. SRO gets search warrants for all phones involved.

4. SRO files charges against any kid that has a naked pic of a child on their phone and against any kid that has sent a naked pic of a kid to anyone else.

5. Parents of charged kids are notified that their kids are charged and flip the eff out.

6. Parents of the girl who called the police in the first place are stupefied that their daughter got charged too. They flip the eff out too.

There was a case in PW County last year that made the news. The boy's case made the news. It was on TV and in the papers and had a lot of notoriety. What did not make the news was that the girl involved was charged as well.

A little late to the party on this thread, but speaking as one with a daughter only a couple years past this point, (14), I'd want the other parent to tell me what's happening.

Of course, a little decorum and an attitude of "as parents, we're all in this together" vs. "look what your slut daughter sent!" would be most appreciated.

Anonymous wrote:I have my kids post all photos to the cloud so I can access them. Our rule is that all photos that are sent by friends must be forwarded to me and that no photo can be sent to forwarded without my consent.

And I'm ever so sure they do this.

Anonymous



Um, no 10:56, "they" do not prosecute only the boys. Girls and boys are prosecuted equally. I work in the criminal justice system and have dealt with boys and girls in sexting cases. The boys' cases do tend to make the news more than girls' cases, but in the day to day doing of the job, both genders get charged whenever appropriate.

No they only go after the boys. The prosecutors respond to the parents. Right or wrong the parent who complain the most and get the prosecutors to do something are parents of the girls.

Anonymous wrote:No phone? Now they can see the real thing behind the bleachers!

Np here I would much rather risk the possibility of real sex because sexting is child porn and being labeled as a sex offended the rest of your life in my option would be worse. Sending child porn even of yourself is a serious crime

11:12, I'm curious about your perspective. I've always thought boys were more likely to come to the attention of anyone who would bring charges, because our culture seems to assume males are the aggressors or the ones who will push boundaries related to intimacy. Do you see this happening frequently, or do you think the justice system is genuinely impartial and not influenced by any biases on the basis off gender?

Um, no 10:56, "they" do not prosecute only the boys. Girls and boys are prosecuted equally. I work in the criminal justice system and have dealt with boys and girls in sexting cases. The boys' cases do tend to make the news more than girls' cases, but in the day to day doing of the job, both genders get charged whenever appropriate.

You have the boy, be careful of you don't know what's the parents reaction will bev

^* sexting. Phone autocorrect, sorry.

When this came up with my kid, we took the same approach as 2330 and focused on the legalities and how big of a problem this can create in people's lives. We had her do some research on various cases of sexton peers and the very severe consequences often involved.

Just from a practical standpoint no one wants to deal with that, so no explicit pics taken, sent, or kept until all parties involved are 18.