Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 18:53     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for an excuse to become offended so that you don't have to pay back the money? Btw this is a loan. A family loan but still a legal obligation at zero percent interest. Your SIL is being extremely caring in providing money for your father's well being and you don't want to give credit where it is due. Do not nake her generosity become a conflict within the family because you are jealous or because you don't appreciate that some couples divide money into his, hers, and theirs.


+1

I also have no idea how or why OP would be offended, so maybe I'm missing her entire point.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 18:46     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I have decided to each pitch in 12k and pay off my parents mortgage. This would enable my dad to retire which is needed because of his declining health. My parents paid for all 4 of us to go to college and paid for our weddings so we all feel like this is our opportunity to pay them back. My sister in law has a decent amount of money from a tech start up she was apart of over 15 years ago and this makes my brother and her the wealthiest of us siblings. I am "borrowing" 6k from them and will pay them back when I can. This means I am giving 6k and they will give 18k to even out the proportions. I told my brother "hey thanks I appreciate this."and he said this: "No problem but don't thank me thank SIL its her money that enables us to do this!". I was kind of taken aback and light heartedly said "ya well its your money since you're married."and he pushed back "ummm well I didn't know SIL in 1998 so this is most definitely her money." and kinda laughed it off. I was really offended he would make it a gift from "her" and not "them". It makes me feel like Im taking out a loan vs borrowing from family. Am I right to be offended?


You are borrowing money. You don't get to be offended. They're being very generous.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 18:43     Subject: Re:would this possession of money offend you?
Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it is also a nice way for your brother hinting "you need to pay it back"...it's their $.


He might also want her to be nicer to his wife, in case there has been some distance in the past.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 15:15     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
My bet is that OP is the SIL in a situation like this and wants validation that she's doing a great thing loaning her DH's sister "her" money. Maybe the SIL said something or acted in a way that somehow didn't acknowledge her generosity.

If not, and this is for real, I'm team brother.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 15:12     Subject: Re:would this possession of money offend you?
OP, I think it is also a nice way for your brother hinting "you need to pay it back"...it's their $.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 14:57     Subject: Re:would this possession of money offend you?
Op needs to get a life, think he or she is just trying to find an excuse to not pay SIL back.'
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 14:53     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
Anonymous wrote:YOU'RE borrowing the money and think you have the right to be offended? Oy. FTR, my DH and I have been married for 13 years and have separate accounts!


Seriously. OP, you are an arrogant ingrate.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 14:52     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
Anonymous wrote:YOU'RE borrowing the money and think you have the right to be offended? Oy. FTR, my DH and I have been married for 13 years and have separate accounts!


Seriously. OP, you are an arrogant ingrate.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 07:02     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for an excuse to become offended so that you don't have to pay back the money? Btw this is a loan. A family loan but still a legal obligation at zero percent interest. Your SIL is being extremely caring in providing money for your father's well being and you don't want to give credit where it is due. Do not nake her generosity become a conflict within the family because you are jealous or because you don't appreciate that some couples divide money into his, hers, and theirs.


I hadn't considered this but it makes sense.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2015 21:33     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
The money you bring into a marriage is not a "marital asset" in cases of divorce. It is your sil's money. Say "thank you" to your sil for lending you the money to help your father.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2015 21:21     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
How you could be offended baffles me. I can see your brother being offended by his wife. But you offended ? Your not in the marriage and their money is between them.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2015 21:21     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
Yes, OP it is her money. But that aside, what you are doing for your parents is the sweetest thing I have heard in a long time!
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2015 21:17     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?
Anonymous wrote:He is right, it is her money and not her mom. You should be thanking both of them, especially her. Personally I'd never take a loan from family nor would I agree to something I cannot afford.


+1

I inherited money from my mom. She left it to me, not to DH and me. It is my money, not our money.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2015 20:02     Subject: would this possession of money offend you?

Good Lord - you are borrowing money from someone, and YOU are the one who feels offended?

Who on earth cares whose money it is??? It's semantics anyway.

Check yourself, OP.
I can see why your brother would distance himself from you.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2015 19:58     Subject: Re:would this possession of money offend you?
People get offended over the stupidest things these days. Sometimes I wonder if people even remember what the word "offended" means.

No, I would not be offended. I would thank my SIL for lending me her money so I could do something for my father.