OP here. I want to thank everyone on here for your thoughtful responses. It is hard, & 4 yrs is a long time. So, I just need to be fair to myself, & realize I can't get over 4 yrs of my life in a few weeks. I just gotta believe that the person waiting for me is BEYOND my expectations. That alone, makes me excited again.

Anonymous wrote:Every person that I know that didn't want to get married, but wanted to be together forever, didn't really want to be together forever. They were there for now because something better hadn't come by yet.

He didn't think you were the right girl to spend forever with. AND he disrespected you and you time enough to waste it while he waited for something better to come along.

So cry, cry big fat tears of anger, fear, hurt. Cry until you cant cry any more. Then cry some more. At that point you will realize, you are still alive. The pain didn't kill you. You made it through the worst and it can only go up from here.

Also, delete him from everything--phone, FB, Linkedin, Instagram, Twitter, email...everything. It will hurt, but it will be like a band-aid, quick and fast is better than long and drawn out. Last thing you need is a way to contact him at 2am when you are at your lowest. If he wants to contact you, he knows how.

I didn't meet DH until I was 38. I had so many broken hearts before him. And I thank God every day for every one of them. My life with all the other would have been horrible compared to what I have now. (I thought they were good, but I had no idea what good was until I met DH). I would go through every one of them again, if it meant I would end up with DH.

You will get through this, and you will be stronger and better for it. And when you look back you will totally realize how your SO just wasn't the right guy for you.

I like this advice. Purge him from your life. Stop. Texting. Him.

Also, delete him from everything--phone, FB, Linkedin, Instagram, Twitter, email...everything. It will hurt, but it will be like a band-aid, quick and fast is better than long and drawn out. Last thing you need is a way to contact him at 2am when you are at your lowest. If he wants to contact you, he knows how.

This. I am sorry, op.

Anonymous wrote:We were together 4 yrs, & I ended it because marriage was not an option. It's only been 3 weeks, but I am devastated. I'm still very much in love. There has been minimal communication, & only because I initiate it with a text. I get a response to how much I am missed and loved, but no moves to change things. Everyday I wake up and go to bed hoping that I hear that there's been a change of heart, but nothing. I'm hurting so much.

Couldn't read and not respond. So sorry. Four years is a heck of a long time to invest emotionally.

I hope you can recover from this soon, maybe counselling could help?

So very sorry OP.... .... Breaking up is one of the toughest situations that we all have to endure in our lifetime.

The pain is so strong & it can seem like the end of the world. I know as does everyone else on here. Nothing sucks more.

That being said, you need to move on from this person so that you can fully heal. By having any form of contact w/this guy will only postpone the healing process thus taking it much longer than it should to feel better.

Remember you are suffering a huge loss here. It's just like a death. A death from your dreams of building a strong future w/this person. As w/all losses, you need to properly grieve for your loss. There are no short-cuts here, if you try to take one, you will only be hurting yourself much more in the end. Don't do it.

For now, cease all communication from your ex. There may come a time in the future when you can both be friendly w/each other, but now is not the time.

Also, it is normal to still harbor strong love feelings for him. Sure, you know it is not the right relationship for you, esp. for your long-term goal...But that still doesn't make you fall out of love overnight.

Of course you still love this man, he was a very important person to you for four years. That is a huge investment of your heart.

And remember, getting over him is not a progressive journey. You will backslide at times, thus feeling you have taken twenty steps backward.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. It just may be a long + difficult path to get there, but you will get there, I promise you that.

Remember to take good care of yourself in the process too.

(((( Hugs ))))

Every person that I know that didn't want to get married, but wanted to be together forever, didn't really want to be together forever. They were there for now because something better hadn't come by yet.

He didn't think you were the right girl to spend forever with. AND he disrespected you and you time enough to waste it while he waited for something better to come along.

So cry, cry big fat tears of anger, fear, hurt. Cry until you cant cry any more. Then cry some more. At that point you will realize, you are still alive. The pain didn't kill you. You made it through the worst and it can only go up from here.

Also, delete him from everything--phone, FB, Linkedin, Instagram, Twitter, email...everything. It will hurt, but it will be like a band-aid, quick and fast is better than long and drawn out. Last thing you need is a way to contact him at 2am when you are at your lowest. If he wants to contact you, he knows how.

I didn't meet DH until I was 38. I had so many broken hearts before him. And I thank God every day for every one of them. My life with all the other would have been horrible compared to what I have now. (I thought they were good, but I had no idea what good was until I met DH). I would go through every one of them again, if it meant I would end up with DH.

You will get through this, and you will be stronger and better for it. And when you look back you will totally realize how your SO just wasn't the right guy for you.

Anonymous wrote:Let yourself cry then get up, dust yourself off and move on to the next. There is someone out there who wants what you want. Make yourself available so you can meet that person.

OP here. Thank you.

Let yourself cry then get up, dust yourself off and move on to the next. There is someone out there who wants what you want. Make yourself available so you can meet that person.