He's 18. That is all

OP -- I could have written your post, I am going thru the exact same thing. I don't know what to do either.

My 20 year old son uses. Still made Deans List, still a functioning member of society. He is at Bonaroo right now with 85,000 of his closest pothead friends. He will go back to school in August and life will go on. Pot is not the end of the world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

Thanks PP. Nice to know you've been there and survived it.

You're welcome. Still surviving, my friend, still surviving. But we are seeeing improvements as they both mature.

I was going to say, he'll probably grow out if it, op.

I was a lot like your son. I got into a good school early decision, and was very lazy and stoned senior spring. It got boring. I was not a frequent user forever.

+1 very common

Me too. My grades went back up in college

Me three. Did fine in college and have done fine in life.

Anonymous wrote:If you're really worried, you could send him to a drug treatment counselor, take him to an AA type meeting for drug users, in addition to the good recommendations of other PPs

I'll disagree with the AA/NA meeting suggestion. Unless he's hit rock bottom, its not realistic for him to work the steps. Counselor, sure.

If you're really worried, you could send him to a drug treatment counselor, take him to an AA type meeting for drug users, in addition to the good recommendations of other PPs

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of drug testing him if you know he's smoking weed? Sounds like a waste of hurting the relationship with your son. Get a new therapist though. I disagree with all their advice.

What part do you disagree with? Do you think OP should search his room? Do think OP shouldn't send him to college and if so, how do you think keeping him home will help?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use to know a pot head named Steve Jobs who did quite well for himself.

Needle in the haystack my friend.

This. My god. How many Steve Jobs-es do you know? wtf.

I'll be honest about two things: (1) I have a 17-year-old but no experience (yet?) with this particular teen problem and (2) I'd be very upset in your situation (I would not be comforted by the notion that this is "common" or "typical").

That said, I think I agree that your best course here is to keep your eye on the long game, which I assume is to get him successfully launched into adulthood. A college degree is an important milestone on that path, and staying at home near his supply and possibly stoner friends would be a veer off the path. So I do think that getting him off to college is the right thing to be focusing on here.

It's good that he's continuing to see the therapist. Unless you feel he is doing more harm than good, I wouldn't switch if there is any risk DS will stop going.

You know/strongly suspect he is still using, so testing him would only be trying to trap him in a lie, would definitely further erode your relationship, and wouldn't advance your cause: what will you do once you know for sure? You will simply be right here again, wondering what you should do now.

Does he have a summer job? I would do whatever I could to help keep him as busy as possible over the summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

Thanks PP. Nice to know you've been there and survived it.

You're welcome. Still surviving, my friend, still surviving. But we are seeeing improvements as they both mature.

I was going to say, he'll probably grow out if it, op.

I was a lot like your son. I got into a good school early decision, and was very lazy and stoned senior spring. It got boring. I was not a frequent user forever.

+1 very common

Me too. My grades went back up in college

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

Thanks PP. Nice to know you've been there and survived it.

You're welcome. Still surviving, my friend, still surviving. But we are seeeing improvements as they both mature.

I was going to say, he'll probably grow out if it, op.

I was a lot like your son. I got into a good school early decision, and was very lazy and stoned senior spring. It got boring. I was not a frequent user forever.

+1 very common

Anonymous wrote:Not in my house. I was confused about how you missed it for so long, but then I realized that every time I have smelled it in the past, I started coughing, so I guess I must just be more sensitive to the smell, and teens can be really good at using febreze to mask BO as well as cigarettes and marijuana. I'm sorry, and I hope it works out, OP.

I'm not OP. Your post is useless. Go to bed.

Not in my house. I was confused about how you missed it for so long, but then I realized that every time I have smelled it in the past, I started coughing, so I guess I must just be more sensitive to the smell, and teens can be really good at using febreze to mask BO as well as cigarettes and marijuana. I'm sorry, and I hope it works out, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

Thanks PP. Nice to know you've been there and survived it.

You're welcome. Still surviving, my friend, still surviving. But we are seeeing improvements as they both mature.

I was going to say, he'll probably grow out if it, op.

I was a lot like your son. I got into a good school early decision, and was very lazy and stoned senior spring. It got boring. I was not a frequent user forever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

Thanks PP. Nice to know you've been there and survived it.

You're welcome. Still surviving, my friend, still surviving. But we are seeeing improvements as they both mature.