OP: Listen to your intuition. It's not just the unlocked guns which is reason enough. Auntie is a loon with no common sense.

Anonymous wrote:I'm on Team Auntie here. I really encourage you to try to make this work -- I'm speaking as someone who had wonderful, wonderful relationships with a weird aunt or two. You say she is kind and loving to your child, and your husband trusts her. That goes a LONG way in my book.

I'd be lovingly up front with her about the guns and let her know that they will need to be locked in order for you to consent to your daughter spending time there without you or your DH. Then I'd start with maybe an afternoon and then build up to a longer visit.

If you have different hesitations, please add them, but I don't see anything in your post that should justify keeping your child away except the unlocked guns.

+1 you might address it long before it's actually a possibility for your daughter to be there alone. Less pressure then. And can be done in the spirit of excited preparations for their time together.

Anonymous wrote:I'm calling Troll.

Oh please.

If it's just about the guns, say "You know, I think DD would really enjoy doing XYZ with you, and that sounds lovely. We just need to sort out a gun storage system ahead of time. We could help pick out a safe if you like."

How old is your kid? Teach her gun safety. Like rule 1: guns are not toys. If you see a gun don't touch it.

Then the aunt can be defensive and start claiming Obama has brainwashed you and is trying to take away her guns.

I'm anti-gun so I would just tell her I don't let my daughter go to a house with guns. Period. Whether they're locked up or not. If she doesn't like that, too bad.

I'm calling Troll.

I'm on Team Auntie here. I really encourage you to try to make this work -- I'm speaking as someone who had wonderful, wonderful relationships with a weird aunt or two. You say she is kind and loving to your child, and your husband trusts her. That goes a LONG way in my book.

I'd be lovingly up front with her about the guns and let her know that they will need to be locked in order for you to consent to your daughter spending time there without you or your DH. Then I'd start with maybe an afternoon and then build up to a longer visit.

If you have different hesitations, please add them, but I don't see anything in your post that should justify keeping your child away except the unlocked guns.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to really evaluate yourself.
Why on earth would you have any hesitation?
It''s odd, and frankly your child needs a stronger parent.

Wow. Never did I say I was hesitating, I am looking for a way to be kind to a family member while still saying no. I'm sorry that you are so "STRONG" that you don't understand kindness.

there's nothing 'kind' about outcasting a relative who wants to be a part of your your DD's life unless that person were a danger to your child. The only one who will hurt in the end is DD.

The guns are just an obstacle and one that can be overcome. However, you admitted you've never seen how they were stored or talked to the Aunt about them, which tells me you're on a witch hunt here. You're just looking for an excuse to deny her.

I am a childless aunt who has hosted many sleepovers with my nieces and nephews over the years, when they were little. Most of them are grown now. It was really good for both me and the kids to have the time together. I think it's good for kids to have a relationship with an adult other than their parents and it's good for adults to have relationships with young people. It was always a time for us to eat junk food, watch movies and just talk about whatever. To be fair, I've never owned a gun, but I think if this is really the only reason for your child not to have a sleepover w/ her aunt then you should be open about it (starting now) and help the aunt to find a solution you can live with. Allowing your daughter to have these special memories with her aunt really will make her a better, more whole person. And if the aunt is a little weird...that's OK too. It will help your daughter learn to get along with people who are odd or different. Aside from the guns, this doesn't seem so bad to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to really evaluate yourself.
Why on earth would you have any hesitation?
It''s odd, and frankly your child needs a stronger parent.

Wow. Never did I say I was hesitating, I am looking for a way to be kind to a family member while still saying no. I'm sorry that you are so "STRONG" that you don't understand kindness.

You have a few choices - just be honest that you are uncomfortable about leaving your child primarily because of the guns in the house
You can spin it as your own insecurities "It's not you, it's me!" - if you don't want to be entirely truthful.
you can say that you don't allow sleepovers or playdates without a parent and probably get away with that for a while

Anonymous wrote:Op, you need to really evaluate yourself.
Why on earth would you have any hesitation?
It''s odd, and frankly your child needs a stronger parent.

Wow. Never did I say I was hesitating, I am looking for a way to be kind to a family member while still saying no. I'm sorry that you are so "STRONG" that you don't understand kindness.

I'm a gun owner and I'll be the first to say I don't agree with anyone owning a firearm and not at the very least have a trigger lock on it. If you have a firearms for personal protection, that absolutely needs to be locked in a safe. If you have children in your home full time, there's no question - lock them in a safe.

This isn't about guns. If it were, you'd educate yourself a little better, observe how they are stored and help Auntie be a bit more mindful about safety with children and firearms. She has no children. She has no need to know. This is about you not having confidence in Auntie's abilities to care for your child in your absence, which is ok, but be honest about it.