Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So interesting. This are really personal questions so feel free to ignore, but I'm curious so...

Would you have normal intercourse with a woman now or would that feel weird to you to use your penis in that way now that you've transitioned?
Would you consider dating another transgender woman (one that still has her penis)?

"Normal intercourse"...?

Yes, normal intercourse.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercourse

Sexual intercourse, or coitus or copulation, is principally the insertion and thrusting of a male's penis, usually when erect, into a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure, reproduction, or both

Or are we redefining piv too to suit some "spectrum"?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So interesting. This are really personal questions so feel free to ignore, but I'm curious so...

Would you have normal intercourse with a woman now or would that feel weird to you to use your penis in that way now that you've transitioned?
Would you consider dating another transgender woman (one that still has her penis)?

"Normal intercourse"...?

Penis into vagina. Not sure how else to describe it.

How old are your kids and how is your relationship with them?

Anonymous wrote:How was your relationship with your father?

It was fine. He worked a lot when I was growing up, but we became closer after my mother died. I'm an only child, so we were the only family the other had. I talk to him a couple of times a week now. He's retired and his girlfriend, who he met at his senior activity club, are currently on a year long trip traveling the country.

Anonymous wrote:

So interesting. This are really personal questions so feel free to ignore, but I'm curious so...

Would you have normal intercourse with a woman now or would that feel weird to you to use your penis in that way now that you've transitioned?
Would you consider dating another transgender woman (one that still has her penis)?

"Normal intercourse"...?

Anonymous wrote:Are you attracted to men or women? How do you address being transgender when approaching a possible date?

I'm attracted to people with vaginas and breasts. (Not everybody who has those genitalia is a woman, just as not every woman has them.) I'm pretty much asexual now (a side effect of HRT), but if I were to date, I would bring up my history before the first date.

I love you for starting this thread. Thank you. You are already handling the subtle derogatory questions graciously.

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you know you were transgendered before you were married? Is that why you got divorced? I assume you were straight during marriage?

Can you talk about the process of becoming transgendered? (more like when you came out to everyone?)

I knew something wasn't really right before I got married, but I was young and thought that things would sort themselves out as I aged. They didn't! Yes, I was straight (in that as a DMAB, I am attracted to people with vaginas and breasts). I now identify as a lesbian woman, but I'm more asexual now.

I came out to my wife and some of my closest friends. Some of my friends were supportive, and others I have not heard from since that conversation.

So interesting. This are really personal questions so feel free to ignore, but I'm curious so...

Would you have normal intercourse with a woman now or would that feel weird to you to use your penis in that way now that you've transitioned?
Would you consider dating another transgender woman (one that still has her penis)?

Anonymous wrote:So I think I would say that being transgender isn't about who you are attracted to, it's about how you as a person identify yourself (in very general, simplistic terms).

But are you physically attracted to men or women? And if it's women, and you're dating a woman, is she a lesbian? Or if it's a man, is he gay b/c he has male parts as do you, or would you also date someone who is transgender? I guess I don't understand how that all works.

Good for you for being brave to open yourself up to this.

Here's a great tool for understand the spectrum that is gender/sex/orientation: http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2015/03/the-genderbread-person-v3/

I'm physically attracted to women. If I'm dating a woman, she can decide what term to use for herself. I've dated once since starting my transition, and she identified as a straight woman because she was attracted to my penis. Some lesbians are not open to dating transwomen because they don't like penises, other lesbians will date transwomen because of the woman-ness in our minds. I agree, it's confusing and complicated! I personally think that trying to use labels can be harmful when it comes to orientation. Just be attracted to who you are, and don't try to fit yourself in a box. Makes life much more simple!

Did you ever have intensive long term therapy? Specifically cognitive?

Do you wish you had?

How do you feel about Caitlyn Jenner? Kristen Beck? Do you think all this media attention is helpful or harmful?

BTW, I think it's very brave to try and live your authentic life, even though it is so much more difficult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medical intervention (hormones and surgery) is pretty drastic. What do you think transgendered people should have to do before using medical intervention (eg turn 18, mental health evaluations, etc)?

Esp curious about how you think parents should handle treatment and intervention for transgendered minors.

NOT the OP, but I want to address the hormone thing because it comes up a lot for parents of trans* kids. Starting HRT after age 18, if you know your child identifies as trans*, is actually too late. The current thinking is to start the HRT before puberty starts, so that the child doesn't develop all of the secondary sex characteristics of their assigned sex. If the child later decides not to pursue the HRT, or that they perfer to identify as genderqueer or butch or whatever instead of trans*, then they can stop taking the HRT and will go through puberty as normal. So, it's not that drastic.

You're on the right track, PP. Minors who identify as being transgender often take hormone blockers so their bodies do not go through puberty. Stopping these blockers allows puberty to progress naturally, or they can go right into HRT.

I wish I had been able to take those blockers. Puberty is never fun!

Do you love yourself?

Did you love yourself before?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medical intervention (hormones and surgery) is pretty drastic. What do you think transgendered people should have to do before using medical intervention (eg turn 18, mental health evaluations, etc)?

Esp curious about how you think parents should handle treatment and intervention for transgendered minors.

NOT the OP, but I want to address the hormone thing because it comes up a lot for parents of trans* kids. Starting HRT after age 18, if you know your child identifies as trans*, is actually too late. The current thinking is to start the HRT before puberty starts, so that the child doesn't develop all of the secondary sex characteristics of their assigned sex. If the child later decides not to pursue the HRT, or that they perfer to identify as genderqueer or butch or whatever instead of trans*, then they can stop taking the HRT and will go through puberty as normal. So, it's not that drastic.

Have there been any studies done on forcing your body to accept synthetic hormones for years on end?

Yep! http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/718619_13

Basically, there are side effects but those are minimal when weighed against the psychological and health ramifications of not doing it, particularly if you look at suicide rates among trans* teens.

Anonymous wrote:Did you know you were transgendered before you were married? Is that why you got divorced? I assume you were straight during marriage?

Can you talk about the process of becoming transgendered? (more like when you came out to everyone?)

I knew something wasn't really right before I got married, but I was young and thought that things would sort themselves out as I aged. They didn't! Yes, I was straight (in that as a DMAB, I am attracted to people with vaginas and breasts). I now identify as a lesbian woman, but I'm more asexual now.

I came out to my wife and some of my closest friends. Some of my friends were supportive, and others I have not heard from since that conversation.