Anonymous wrote:How is she doing in the career, marriage, kids front compared with you?

She's only 24 so she hasn't gotten a start yet. She is finishing up a finance degree and works very hard. Because she is beautiful and has a nice personality, she gets attention from really high quality guys who come from good families and make good money. I'm sure she'll end up real fine.

How is she doing in the career, marriage, kids front compared with you?

Anonymous wrote:If she is beautiful, you have to realize that gave her a huge advantage with her relationships with other people, job opportunities, life opportunities and self esteem.

Ding ding ding.

It's unfortunate (both that looks matter so much in our world and that you grew up with a much more beautiful sister OP) but that's just the way the cards were dealt. You'll be best served if you can find a way to stop competing with her because it sounds like you can't win and never will. Can you try just being happy for her instead?

Anonymous wrote:Comparison is the thief of joy.

Amen!

OP, your sis doesn't sound 'perfect' to me at all. Neither do her looks she has to spend hours to maintain, or relationships that overall sound rather superficial.

What is it exactly that you are jealous of? I'm sorry your parents were not more cooing (assuming it matters), but you are an adult now and should take charge of your life. I rarely, almost never suggest therapy. But you may be a good candidate. Learning to appreciate what you have will do you a world of good.

Perfect people have to put a lot of time and energy into being...well, perfect. They don't tend to have a lot of down time and I would imagine that having a bad day where they just don't feel like dealing with anyone is not on the table for them. Going to the store looking less than wonderful...can not be done. There are probably a ton of unwritten rules that they have for themselves that would drive an average person crazy. Not all of us would enjoy being the shining star and center of attention.

This. I have a family member who is also perfect. But believe me, she earns it by insisting on nothing less than perfection. I truly could dress as well as her, etc. if I put in the effort. When I analyze myself, I see that I have different priorities (more time with my family, travel, less scrutinizing budget items). My life suits me. If I keep looking, I am sure I can make a whole list of people more perfect than me. But better I should make a list of things I am grateful for and people who value me.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel your pain. My sister is perfect too.

+1

Reading this thread was oddly soothing, but also brought back ALL my negative emotions. (I'm an NP)

Anonymous wrote:Btw, how do you really know how people responded to you as a baby, versus your sister? Where does this script in your head come from - do you parents present things this way, or is this your own perception? You need to let go of this script that you seem to feel is pre-written.

I wondered this same thing.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Anonymous wrote:The way to improve yourself is to recognize that who you are is not set in stone, that you have the tools to improve yourself, your own strength, will power, determination, intelligence, etc. It is in you to decide whether you will wallow over your own inadequacies or focus on what next step you will take to succeed or improve yourself. These are decisions we need to constantly make. It's not about comparing yourself to others, but to yourself. Who are you today. Who will you be tomorrow? It's in your power to get there. Make it happen.

I love this. It's great advice, OP. Focusing on your personal choices gives you all the power.

OP, I feel your pain. My sister is perfect too.

Anonymous wrote:My sister is jealous of me. She won't visit my house because "it makes her feel bad". I don't know what to do to make it better.

Visit her house or go out to lunch. You can't control her jealousy but you can meet her on her turf or at least neutral ground on occasion.

My sister is jealous of me. She won't visit my house because "it makes her feel bad". I don't know what to do to make it better.

Perfect people have to put a lot of time and energy into being...well, perfect. They don't tend to have a lot of down time and I would imagine that having a bad day where they just don't feel like dealing with anyone is not on the table for them. Going to the store looking less than wonderful...can not be done. There are probably a ton of unwritten rules that they have for themselves that would drive an average person crazy. Not all of us would enjoy being the shining star and center of attention.

OP how old are you?