Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 08:45     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
As a Catholic, I don't understand someone getting hurt by not being asked to be their friend's kid's godparent, particularly when one is a different faith.

OP, have you aksed your friend what a godparent is according to her faith tradition? I am guessing it is different than the role in the Catholic faith.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 08:45     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
I was raised Catholic, the only sacrament I didn't receive was marriage (got married at a destination). My brother and SIL belong to a Catholic church but don't attend. They only went a few times when she was pregnant so it wouldn't be odd they would baptize their children there. They are expecting their second and as much as I would love to be her godmother, I know they won't pick me because DH and I are not practicing Catholics (consider ourselves Agnostic). Such is life.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 08:43     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Anonymous wrote:My husband's godparent shunned me because he was divorced and remarried, although all this was done in the Episcopal church which is the church he selected is his 20s, but he was raised catholic. She refused to talk to me, but would talk to my children! What is that about?


This has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with personality and likely age.

If it wasn't about this it would eventually be something else.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 08:38     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
My husband's godparent shunned me because he was divorced and remarried, although all this was done in the Episcopal church which is the church he selected is his 20s, but he was raised catholic. She refused to talk to me, but would talk to my children! What is that about?
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 08:23     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand the big deal about godparents...]Can someone explain.


It's really not that much.

http://www.mannersmentor.com/mom-manners-and-kids-too/the-roles-of-godparents-make-up-in-public

"You will be at the baby’s christening and perhaps take part in the ceremony. Most importantly, you serve as a mentor and take the symbolic place of his or her parent of the same gender should either one of them pass away. (Not that the child will necessarily come to live with you, a godparent is different from a legal guardian named in a will.)

If there should be a death you would step in and create experiences the missing parent would have wanted their son or daughter to have."


In the Catholic Church, it is not a question of manners. It is not about mentoring or "taking the symbolic place" of a parent in the event of death. Not at all.

It is about serving as support for raising the child in the Catholic faith.

http://www.catholicdoors.com/courses/godpar.htm

THE ROLE OF THE GODPARENT
15. "In so far as possible, a person being baptised is to be assigned a sponsor. In the case of an adult baptism, the sponsor's role is to assist the person in christian initiation. In the case of an infant baptism, the role is together with the parents to present the child for baptism, and to help it to live a christian life befitting the baptised and faithfully to fulfil the duties inherent in baptism." (Canon 872)

16. In both cases, the principal responsibility of a godparent is to give witness to the Catholic faith by his words and actions. When it concerns a child, he must be ready to accept the responsibility of being a part of the godchild's life for the remaining of his/her life.

17. A godparent must have his eyes fixed on the Lord, believing that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. [Jn. 14:6] Not only must he believe it, he must be prepared to share his belief with his godchild.

18. Within reason, a godparent must be available to his godchild on a continuous basis. He must have a special interest in the spiritual growth of the child.

19. When called upon to profess the Catholic faith on behalf of the infant, the godparent must believe in what he is professing.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 08:17     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
I haven't used the term 'best friend' since I was in elementary school.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 07:58     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand the big deal about godparents...]Can someone explain.


It's really not that much.

http://www.mannersmentor.com/mom-manners-and-kids-too/the-roles-of-godparents-make-up-in-public

"You will be at the baby’s christening and perhaps take part in the ceremony. Most importantly, you serve as a mentor and take the symbolic place of his or her parent of the same gender should either one of them pass away. (Not that the child will necessarily come to live with you, a godparent is different from a legal guardian named in a will.)

If there should be a death you would step in and create experiences the missing parent would have wanted their son or daughter to have."
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 07:51     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
I don't really understand the big deal about godparents...]Can someone explain.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 07:32     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Anonymous wrote:http://canonlawmadeeasy.com/2007/12/27/can-non-catholics-serve-as-baptismal-sponsors/


From the above link, godparents are not a part of the sacrament of baptism.

"The absence of a sponsor has no effect on the validity of a baptism."

Godparent isn't even a Catholic term. The term is "sponsor". Anyone parents say is a Godparent is a Godparent. The Catholic church has rules for baptismal sponsors, and the child doesn't even need a sponsor to be baptized.

Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 07:27     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Tell her you would LOVE to have her as godparent. The church requires that she convert. That won't be a problem, will it? It doesn't matter if she calls herself "Catholic" or something else, all that matters is that she's a good person, right?
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 07:26     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
I had one Catholic godparent and one non-Catholic (Episcopalian) godparent. Both presented me at the baptism.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 06:21     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Anonymous wrote:Background: DH and I are Catholic. We are raising kids Catholic... First DC I picked my sibling and their spouse and for my now second child I picked a close cousin and their spouse. My best friend is crushed because she felt that we were very close and she was hoping for me to ask her to be Godparent. We are very close and she was their for both childrens births and all milestones and I love her and her children like my own. However, she isn't catholic and at our particular church that isn't "overlooked" like she assumes. She straight up told me "being a good person who lives christian values is all that matters"...how do I explain to her that that isn't really the case? I don't want hurt her more than she is already hurting, or make it seem like my religion is superior but I think she is overlooking the core issue.


Your friend really needs to get a grip. She's "hurting?" This is all a bit dramatic. You are the parent and get to choose the godparent. Your church does not allow non-Catholics to serve as godparents. Period. None of this stops your friend from being close to your children and modeling what it means to be a gracious and loving person.

Stop engaging in this drama. You made the godparent selection. She knows why she wasn't chosen. It's not personal.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 06:14     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
http://canonlawmadeeasy.com/2007/12/27/can-non-catholics-serve-as-baptismal-sponsors/
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 06:12     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Anonymous wrote:Church rules doesn't require both Godparents to be Catholic. Sadly you missed the memo. We had two Godmothers- both Catholic because that is what we wanted. One has to be a "Christian Witness" which was completely fine to them and my child has no idea which one that is because they are both her Godmothers.


Yes. Yes they do.
Anonymous
Post 06/02/2015 01:19     Subject: Best friend hurt over god parent choice
Anonymous wrote:Church rules doesn't require both Godparents to be Catholic. Sadly you missed the memo. We had two Godmothers- both Catholic because that is what we wanted. One has to be a "Christian Witness" which was completely fine to them and my child has no idea which one that is because they are both her Godmothers.


Not all catholic churches will approve non catholics and not all parents want to choose non catholics.