Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom walked into that school meeting with a huge chip on her shoulder and an enormous sense of self importance. Instead of listening to both sides of the story (and there are always two sides) she decided to view everyone but her daughter as guilty.

Maybe her daughter had snapped the waist band of this boy's boxers first. Maybe he thought that he was just dorking around when he snapped the girl's bra. But we'll never know because Mama Bear came in and started using intimidation and fighting words and seemed happy that the boy's mom was disolved into tears.

In answer to the question, of course I've taught my boys to respect girls. In fact, I've taught them to view girls as equals, friends, allies. But they are to expect the same thing in return. No less.

WTF? Yeah, that's a great excuse for repeatedly grabbing a girl's undergarments despite her asking you to stop.

Again. Not saying that this was appropriate. But context is important. If this girl walked up and smacked him on the butt in the hall in a joking manner, he may have snapped her bra in return. Yes, "Dorking around". Just like she was "Dorking around" when she smacked his butt.

If he was just sitting behind her in class and started snapping her bra and she said "Stop it" and he persisted and the teacher told HER to settle down. Totally different scenario.

I agree. What if the boy was in kindergarten, 1st, or 2nd grade and he had watched a bunch of girls snapping each other's bras and they laughed so he thought it was funny. I am sure I hadn't even talked to my elementary school kids about bras or would have foreseen an incident like that.

Context is important?

How common is it that girls snap each other's bras? I have never ever seen this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom walked into that school meeting with a huge chip on her shoulder and an enormous sense of self importance. Instead of listening to both sides of the story (and there are always two sides) she decided to view everyone but her daughter as guilty.

Maybe her daughter had snapped the waist band of this boy's boxers first. Maybe he thought that he was just dorking around when he snapped the girl's bra. But we'll never know because Mama Bear came in and started using intimidation and fighting words and seemed happy that the boy's mom was disolved into tears.

In answer to the question, of course I've taught my boys to respect girls. In fact, I've taught them to view girls as equals, friends, allies. But they are to expect the same thing in return. No less.

WTF? Yeah, that's a great excuse for repeatedly grabbing a girl's undergarments despite her asking you to stop.

Again. Not saying that this was appropriate. But context is important. If this girl walked up and smacked him on the butt in the hall in a joking manner, he may have snapped her bra in return. Yes, "Dorking around". Just like she was "Dorking around" when she smacked his butt.

If he was just sitting behind her in class and started snapping her bra and she said "Stop it" and he persisted and the teacher told HER to settle down. Totally different scenario.

I agree. What if the boy was in kindergarten, 1st, or 2nd grade and he had watched a bunch of girls snapping each other's bras and they laughed so he thought it was funny. I am sure I hadn't even talked to my elementary school kids about bras or would have foreseen an incident like that.

Context is important?

I tell my sons to stay far away from the daughters of mothers on this board that in another thread posted the only thing of value they bring to a marriage is their looks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom walked into that school meeting with a huge chip on her shoulder and an enormous sense of self importance. Instead of listening to both sides of the story (and there are always two sides) she decided to view everyone but her daughter as guilty.

Maybe her daughter had snapped the waist band of this boy's boxers first. Maybe he thought that he was just dorking around when he snapped the girl's bra. But we'll never know because Mama Bear came in and started using intimidation and fighting words and seemed happy that the boy's mom was disolved into tears.

In answer to the question, of course I've taught my boys to respect girls. In fact, I've taught them to view girls as equals, friends, allies. But they are to expect the same thing in return. No less.

WTF? Yeah, that's a great excuse for repeatedly grabbing a girl's undergarments despite her asking you to stop.

Again. Not saying that this was appropriate. But context is important. If this girl walked up and smacked him on the butt in the hall in a joking manner, he may have snapped her bra in return. Yes, "Dorking around". Just like she was "Dorking around" when she smacked his butt.

If he was just sitting behind her in class and started snapping her bra and she said "Stop it" and he persisted and the teacher told HER to settle down. Totally different scenario.

Don't impede age appropriate friendships/dating. Happy people who are loved continue to give/seek out healthy, repectful relationships

As a society we spend a lot of time telling girls to watch out for themselves, respect themselves and make sure not to put themselves into precarious situations (who hasn't told their college-bound girl to be careful about being drunk at a party, etc). We need to continue to do this, but we also need to start talking to our boys from an early age about protecting themselves, respecting themselves and respecting others. None of this "boys will be boys" crap - shouldn't be tolerated and, IMO, is very insulting to boys. Boys are just as capable as girls to be empathetic and caring, but just as we guide our girls we need to guide our boys. Start the conversation early and have it often. It's what I have done with both my DD and DS. Frankly, it's a parent's responsibility to talk with each and every one of their children (and I say children because these conversations should be started when they are young...).

Ugh, such a cheesy stupid internet story. Of course male students should not be snapping female students' bras. You need a special internet parable to tell you that?

Anonymous wrote:Mom walked into that school meeting with a huge chip on her shoulder and an enormous sense of self importance. Instead of listening to both sides of the story (and there are always two sides) she decided to view everyone but her daughter as guilty.

Maybe her daughter had snapped the waist band of this boy's boxers first. Maybe he thought that he was just dorking around when he snapped the girl's bra. But we'll never know because Mama Bear came in and started using intimidation and fighting words and seemed happy that the boy's mom was disolved into tears.

In answer to the question, of course I've taught my boys to respect girls. In fact, I've taught them to view girls as equals, friends, allies. But they are to expect the same thing in return. No less.

WTF? Yeah, that's a great excuse for repeatedly grabbing a girl's undergarments despite her asking you to stop.

Anonymous wrote:"Yes, my son, you should treat women with respect. As soon as you are in middle school and high school, you will see that the boys who put women on a pedestal and treat them with utmost respect get all the female attention - they have to fend off the girlfriends with a stick. Meanwhile, the boys who are disrespectful jerks to women never have girlfriends. They spend years pining hopelessly for a girl and being involuntarily celibate."

(pause)

"Oh wait... never mind."

Fathers of sons, be sure to guide your sons never to listen to anything your mom says about women or male-female relationships. It is well-intentioned but always wrong. Son, you'd do better to do the exact opposite of anything she says. Or put another way, carefully watch what women do, not what they say.

Oh dear, your parents f-ed you up, big time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom walked into that school meeting with a huge chip on her shoulder and an enormous sense of self importance. Instead of listening to both sides of the story (and there are always two sides) she decided to view everyone but her daughter as guilty.

Maybe her daughter had snapped the waist band of this boy's boxers first. Maybe he thought that he was just dorking around when he snapped the girl's bra. But we'll never know because Mama Bear came in and started using intimidation and fighting words and seemed happy that the boy's mom was disolved into tears.

In answer to the question, of course I've taught my boys to respect girls. In fact, I've taught them to view girls as equals, friends, allies. But they are to expect the same thing in return. No less.

FYI, Brian and Jeff are the names of the two boys who snapped my bra repeatedly in seventh grade social studies. I was 12, and did nothing to them besides get instructed by the teacher to sit in front of them. I complained about Brian repeatedly to my teacher before also complaining toy guidance counselor and the assistant principal and my teachers solution was to switch Brian's seat with his friend Jeffs seat. I only wish I'd punched Brian on the face. I did nothing to deserve what they did and I don't care if they were "dorking around."

Well, those boys absolutely should not have been doing that. My point wasn't that something like this is not or could never be a big deal. My point was that the Mom (in the article) did not even bother to hear the boy's side of the story before she passed judgement on everyone in that room.

'

I agree that the boys should not have be doing that, but as a mom or girls, I wondered if parents teach that to their sons....

Why do you wonder that? I teach my kids to respect others. Period.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom walked into that school meeting with a huge chip on her shoulder and an enormous sense of self importance. Instead of listening to both sides of the story (and there are always two sides) she decided to view everyone but her daughter as guilty.

Maybe her daughter had snapped the waist band of this boy's boxers first. Maybe he thought that he was just dorking around when he snapped the girl's bra. But we'll never know because Mama Bear came in and started using intimidation and fighting words and seemed happy that the boy's mom was disolved into tears.

In answer to the question, of course I've taught my boys to respect girls. In fact, I've taught them to view girls as equals, friends, allies. But they are to expect the same thing in return. No less.

FYI, Brian and Jeff are the names of the two boys who snapped my bra repeatedly in seventh grade social studies. I was 12, and did nothing to them besides get instructed by the teacher to sit in front of them. I complained about Brian repeatedly to my teacher before also complaining toy guidance counselor and the assistant principal and my teachers solution was to switch Brian's seat with his friend Jeffs seat. I only wish I'd punched Brian on the face. I did nothing to deserve what they did and I don't care if they were "dorking around."

Well, those boys absolutely should not have been doing that. My point wasn't that something like this is not or could never be a big deal. My point was that the Mom (in the article) did not even bother to hear the boy's side of the story before she passed judgement on everyone in that room.

'

I agree that the boys should not have be doing that, but as a mom or girls, I wondered if parents teach that to their sons....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom walked into that school meeting with a huge chip on her shoulder and an enormous sense of self importance. Instead of listening to both sides of the story (and there are always two sides) she decided to view everyone but her daughter as guilty.

Maybe her daughter had snapped the waist band of this boy's boxers first. Maybe he thought that he was just dorking around when he snapped the girl's bra. But we'll never know because Mama Bear came in and started using intimidation and fighting words and seemed happy that the boy's mom was disolved into tears.

In answer to the question, of course I've taught my boys to respect girls. In fact, I've taught them to view girls as equals, friends, allies. But they are to expect the same thing in return. No less.

FYI, Brian and Jeff are the names of the two boys who snapped my bra repeatedly in seventh grade social studies. I was 12, and did nothing to them besides get instructed by the teacher to sit in front of them. I complained about Brian repeatedly to my teacher before also complaining toy guidance counselor and the assistant principal and my teachers solution was to switch Brian's seat with his friend Jeffs seat. I only wish I'd punched Brian on the face. I did nothing to deserve what they did and I don't care if they were "dorking around."

Well, those boys absolutely should not have been doing that. My point wasn't that something like this is not or could never be a big deal. My point was that the Mom (in the article) did not even bother to hear the boy's side of the story before she passed judgement on everyone in that room.

"Yes, my son, you should treat women with respect. As soon as you are in middle school and high school, you will see that the boys who put women on a pedestal and treat them with utmost respect get all the female attention - they have to fend off the girlfriends with a stick. Meanwhile, the boys who are disrespectful jerks to women never have girlfriends. They spend years pining hopelessly for a girl and being involuntarily celibate."

(pause)

"Oh wait... never mind."

Fathers of sons, be sure to guide your sons never to listen to anything your mom says about women or male-female relationships. It is well-intentioned but always wrong. Son, you'd do better to do the exact opposite of anything she says. Or put another way, carefully watch what women do, not what they say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this question insulting of both girls and boys.

+1

+2

Interesting. I don't find it insulting. Because whether we like it or not, there is still a significant power imbalance in our culture that favors boys/men.

+1M

Obviously we as parents - both moms and dads are not doing enough considering the imbalance in sexual attacks on one gender vs the other.

What I find surprising here is the quick jump to tell girls to respect and stand up for themselves - a little like blaming the victim. Boys need have have respect for girls instilled in the just as mush - if not more because we as a society are constantly fighting the power of the penis,,,,,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this question insulting of both girls and boys.

+1

+2

Interesting. I don't find it insulting. Because whether we like it or not, there is still a significant power imbalance in our culture that favors boys/men.