If he won't take meds, I recommend you both start running together. Exercise has helped me deal with anxiety better than most meds. I understand your frustration, though. My DH is the same way. He especially stresses over the gutters and roof. Talks about them constantly and we have replaced the roof at both houses we have lived in, then he complains the job wasn't done well.

A condo is different from a house. With a condo renovation, there is only so much you can do given space requirements. You can't add a bedroom or bathroom onto a condo like you can with a house. You can't expand the kitchen with a condo. Your husband may have also viewed the condo as something someone else will live in, v. what he and his wife will live in, so the rennovations for the house are far more personal to him. OP, you have picked on issues that any healthy person would stress about. It sounds to me like you're just pissed that your anxiety issues are no longer the issues that rule the family. Now you're seeing what it's like to "suffer from anxiety", he has the issues now and you get to suffer.

you both need meds

Yes, obsessive anxiety paralyzes relationships and seems to only grow with time in the absence of intervention