Anonymous
09/09/2015 09:18
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Oh, how I hated being trapped in the car with my mother bringing up a "big topic." I hope I can work on communication (using ideas in this thread (!)) so I can avoid this when my child is older.
Anonymous
09/09/2015 00:53
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Geared toward younger kids, but some good ideas here: http://parent.co/30-questions-to-ask-your-kid-instead-of-how-was-your-day/
Anonymous
09/06/2015 07:31
Subject: Re:"Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
For the more serious conversations use the three C's. Concerned, confused and curious. They help keep the tension down and are not accusatory.
I am confused........, I am concerned......, I am curious........
I am confused........, I am concerned......, I am curious........
Anonymous
09/05/2015 15:57
Subject: Re:"Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Anonymous wrote:Think about how you start a conversation with an adult, and go from there. If you meet your friend for dinner, are you going to say "Hi! What did you eat for lunch? Who'd you sit by? Did you learn anything today?" Of course not, you would greet her and then start talking about anything that might interest her, or that you've been dying to tell her. She does the same.
I have realized that my kids like to hear me talk about my day. I work with kids, so I usually have some pretty funny stories for them. My story will remind them of something else so they share their own story. This is how dialog works. Just don't try so hard.
Great points.
Anonymous
09/05/2015 15:23
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Talk in the car.....
This, particularly with boys and sensitive topics. They are captive and don't have to make eye contact.
Yep, works every time.
Anonymous
09/05/2015 14:30
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
text them, and use shortcut words, not grammatically correct, long windy sentences... joking.
Anonymous
09/05/2015 14:21
Subject: Re:"Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Anonymous wrote:We also do what is the best and worst thing that happened today - we do this at dinner to get kids talking about good and hard things. After school both of my kids do homework or if done, screen time or activities and usually like when i'm home but not bothering them
Anonymous
05/29/2015 22:06
Subject: Re:"Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
great thread!
Anonymous
05/29/2015 14:21
Subject: Re:"Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Anonymous wrote:We also do what is the best and worst thing that happened today - we do this at dinner to get kids talking about good and hard things. After school both of my kids do homework or if done, screen time or activities and usually like when i'm home but not bothering them
yeah, i do this too. what was the funniest thing anyone said today? what was the most boring part of the day? more specific than how was your day (would always get an ok!) we talk in the car on the way home. we have a little ritual where my dc asks me for the "news of the day" and then i ask him for it.
Anonymous
05/29/2015 12:24
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
I have boys so don't get a lot of daily talk that friends with girls seem to get but I often get " mom, can I talk to you." When that happens, I know it is big/ important so at least I know they feel comfortable with me and really confide. My DH is great dad but they only want to discuss feelings with me for some reason.
Their requests are usually at 9/ 10pm when I am most tired but I will sit until midnight and listen. And have!
i am a talker/ feeler so have tried all the lists of questions, printed out slips to choose at dinner, Etc. but they just really talk when they want to.
They are teens so often driving them to thngs but even then not talkative so we listen to music and one will often tell me things about the artist. I do have a " rule" that they cannot be on phone in car looking at things -- and other times too but this one I have to really remind them as it is easy to just start looking at it on way to practice.
i still always say "how was your day, how did the test go, and anything I need to know about?" Also, I try and share a funny or interesting thing about my day as well!
Their requests are usually at 9/ 10pm when I am most tired but I will sit until midnight and listen. And have!
i am a talker/ feeler so have tried all the lists of questions, printed out slips to choose at dinner, Etc. but they just really talk when they want to.
They are teens so often driving them to thngs but even then not talkative so we listen to music and one will often tell me things about the artist. I do have a " rule" that they cannot be on phone in car looking at things -- and other times too but this one I have to really remind them as it is easy to just start looking at it on way to practice.
i still always say "how was your day, how did the test go, and anything I need to know about?" Also, I try and share a funny or interesting thing about my day as well!
Anonymous
05/29/2015 10:05
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Anonymous wrote:Ask "what would you like to eat"
Ha Ha Ha! So true!
I usually ask "how was your day?", to which I get "fine, how was yours?" I then usually launch into something I've done that they might find interesting, which then usually leads them to start telling me things. One of the things that always comes up is fights that happen at school.
As to what my kids do, the oldest comes home and does chores, then homework, then he usually goes to the park to play tennis or plays videogames or reads. The younger one will clean the cat box if I remind him (the older one doesn't need me to tell him what to do), then he goes to hang out with his friends in the neighborhood. If an adult is home at our house, the neighborhood kids usually come over and hang at our house. Even though they are teens (young ones though), they love the swingset. Sometimes he will play tennis with his brother or make dinner for us. If the weather is bad, he likes to play on his XBox but he definitely prefers to be outside or with friends to videogames. He does his homework at night before bed.
Anonymous
05/29/2015 10:03
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Q "who wasn't at school today?"
A from tween "everyone, why?"
Q " IDK just asking"
A from tween " that's dumb"
pause for a while
A from tween "Larla had to leave early to go to the doctor. She claims she broke her finger but I think she is faking."
continue on conversation with more tidbits from tween's day.
I would have never guessed that this would have turned out to be such a good conversation starter.
A from tween "everyone, why?"
Q " IDK just asking"
A from tween " that's dumb"
pause for a while
A from tween "Larla had to leave early to go to the doctor. She claims she broke her finger but I think she is faking."
continue on conversation with more tidbits from tween's day.
I would have never guessed that this would have turned out to be such a good conversation starter.
Anonymous
05/29/2015 09:53
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Anonymous wrote:We just had a lecture at my daughter's middle school and the lady was great. She said "don't ask questions after school." Make statements that bring down the stress. It is nice to see you. Talk about a funny story you had. Mention summer activities etc... Let them have downtime. They are more likely to come to you if you back off.
This makes a lot of sense. If I'm just getting home from work, I don't want to talk about it right away usually, either.
Anonymous
05/29/2015 02:35
Subject: Re:"Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
Think about how you start a conversation with an adult, and go from there. If you meet your friend for dinner, are you going to say "Hi! What did you eat for lunch? Who'd you sit by? Did you learn anything today?" Of course not, you would greet her and then start talking about anything that might interest her, or that you've been dying to tell her. She does the same.
I have realized that my kids like to hear me talk about my day. I work with kids, so I usually have some pretty funny stories for them. My story will remind them of something else so they share their own story. This is how dialog works. Just don't try so hard.
I have realized that my kids like to hear me talk about my day. I work with kids, so I usually have some pretty funny stories for them. My story will remind them of something else so they share their own story. This is how dialog works. Just don't try so hard.
Anonymous
05/28/2015 13:38
Subject: "Acceptable" after school conversation starters?
We just had a lecture at my daughter's middle school and the lady was great. She said "don't ask questions after school." Make statements that bring down the stress. It is nice to see you. Talk about a funny story you had. Mention summer activities etc... Let them have downtime. They are more likely to come to you if you back off.