OP, the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-SAFE (7233). You may not need it at this moment, but if he's as controlling and emotionally abusive as this thread suggests, you may need it soon. Please put this number somewhere you'll have ready access to it if you do.

OP, collaborative divorce is not appropriate for you, because you appear to have an abusive (emotionally at least) spouse. So it is not safe for you.

OP's husband, if you are monitoring this:

Go f yourself diagf you schmuck. I hope she takes every penny.

To OP: Get a good lawyer. Win.