Op ~ You say, "I'll tell you if there is a change"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's concerned for her son and worried that you'll never work again.

Probably. Especially if her son has been asking for financial assistance.

How in the hell did you get that from the OP? Especially because she said they had tons of savings so she could SAHM? Oh right, you are just bashing her because you have a bug up your ass about SAHMs.

You'd hate me. I've never had a paying job in my life, I spent almost 6 years as a housewife before children and I don't ever intend on going back to work even when my youngest graduates college, don't care what anyone thinks or assumes about my life. My choice and my DH's choice.

I'm really glad you are OK with this because I think that's a very tough choice to justify. Unless you were running the family farm, I can't imagine what a childless housewife would do for 6 years.

OP here. There are no financial issues. I'm not going to go into detail about what we have but DH is not asking MIL for money. The other theories are plausible and are helping me understand where she could be coming from. She probably does want to be more involved. I am pretty much with our child all the time and she probably doesn't like that. She also worked and took pride in how much my husbands father contributed to raising them. Thank you for these, it helps.

I think my MIL questions us repeatedly about it because she is a bit jealous, was a blue collar worker her whole life and is coining the days to retirement. I don't blame her, it's an odd position to be in. (Not the OP)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's concerned for her son and worried that you'll never work again.

Probably. Especially if her son has been asking for financial assistance.

How in the hell did you get that from the OP? Especially because she said they had tons of savings so she could SAHM? Oh right, you are just bashing her because you have a bug up your ass about SAHMs.

You'd hate me. I've never had a paying job in my life, I spent almost 6 years as a housewife before children and I don't ever intend on going back to work even when my youngest graduates college, don't care what anyone thinks or assumes about my life. My choice and my DH's choice.

I'm a SAHM too and have been for 15 years. Like the other poster I was trying to see it from the MIL's point of view. Two reasons that I could think of is 1) while they might be doing o.k. month to month they do tend to ask MIL for money when unexpected expenses arise - the car dies, the furnace stops working, etc. 2) MIL is worried about her son and the stress of being the sole provider in the family.

Neither one or both might be the case in the Op's situation. Maybe MIL simply thinks that Op isn't doing a good enough job as a SAHM or maybe MIL is asking because if Op does go back to work MIL would love to watch the kids during the day for them.

I get this a lot from my in laws. It doesn't bother me any more because my husband is very happy with me staying home. My ability to handle the children 100% gives him more flexibility at work.

As long as it is working for your immediate family, then don't worry about what anyone else is saying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's concerned for her son and worried that you'll never work again.

Probably. Especially if her son has been asking for financial assistance.

How in the hell did you get that from the OP? Especially because she said they had tons of savings so she could SAHM? Oh right, you are just bashing her because you have a bug up your ass about SAHMs.

You'd hate me. I've never had a paying job in my life, I spent almost 6 years as a housewife before children and I don't ever intend on going back to work even when my youngest graduates college, don't care what anyone thinks or assumes about my life. My choice and my DH's choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's concerned for her son and worried that you'll never work again.

I believe OP was asking SAHMs what they thought. I am quite certain you are not one.

Actually I am that's why I gave my point of view. I'm also trying to see it from the MIL's point of view and why she keeps pestering OP with the ?'s.

6 years later my mom asks me all the time. I tell her to talk to my husband since he's the one who encourages me to stay home.

I would find it very annoying. Have you in anyone indicated to her to stop?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's concerned for her son and worried that you'll never work again.

I believe OP was asking SAHMs what they thought. I am quite certain you are not one.

Anonymous wrote:I have one 18 month old and MIL constantly asks me if I'm going back to work with different variations of the same question. Do you miss work? No. Has your old job contacted you about going back? No. Do you want to go back? No. Will you ever go back? No. Would they take you back if you wanted to? I don't know. I am so tired of these questions. Am I being too sensitive? I had a very demanding job and we are in good shape financially partially because I saved tons of money when I was working. Does anyone else experience this from their inlaws?

I don't think you are in the wrong to be bothered by this and I do not think you are being too sensitive. I really don't understand why SAHMs get grilled in this way, it is like the person is trying to guilt them or something.

Have you talked about this with your husband? Does your MIL direct these questions only to you? Is it possible your husband has discussed this with his mother?

I'd talk to DH about it and make sure he's not aware of something you're not in terms of his conversations with your MIL. Then if she raises it again, I'd simply say, "DH and I have agreed I will stay home with Larla for now. Why do you ask?"

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's concerned for her son and worried that you'll never work again.

Probably. Especially if her son has been asking for financial assistance.

Anonymous wrote:One of the pp's again

Yes, I do get this, and it makes me rethink my decision not to tell them I have a trust fund that interest alone matches what my DH makes. Since they obviously think I'm leeching off him lol

It's annoying, but I keep referring them to DH to explain he's happy with the arrangement

Ha ha! As tempting as it is, don't tell them. You'll get all kinds of comments and requests if they knew, probably.