Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone keep saying this is taking away from family vacation time? OP says she has a trip scheduled with her family as well.

Her husband clearly feels that it is taking away from family vacation time. It sounds like he is upset that she is choosing something that doesn't involve him.

Op-- how would you respond if your DH wanted to take an 8 day trip with his friends?

I think you should do it, OP. Your mom's concerns are political and not safety related. People from other countries go to Cuba all the time. It is a honeymoon destination for a lot of Canadians.

I am a PP, but I also wonder - you would be ok with your DH doing this? If so, tell him that, it might help your argument.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.

I can take a girls trip for a long weekend. DH can do a boys trip for a long weekend. 8 days is too much to ask.

Why does everyone keep saying this is taking away from family vacation time? OP says she has a trip scheduled with her family as well.

Anonymous wrote:You are clearly in another tax bracket than my friends and I are. The most the moms I know can handle is a weekend away somewhere within a 3 hour drive.

Sorry, I wanted to add that I think you should go.YOLO baby.

You are clearly in another tax bracket than my friends and I are. The most the moms I know can handle is a weekend away somewhere within a 3 hour drive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.

They go for 3 days, not 8 days. I think that's a long time to leave your family.

It's 8 days or nothing for this particular opportunity. It is a tour with a set itinerary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.

I go on trips with friends a couple times a year; however, I only go on the weekends when DH is home. During the week, with his schedule, me being gone on a trip would not work out. We can afford small trips occasionally for both of us together and separately, but only when the other is available for the children.

OP here. The timing of this trip is actually excellent because DH is a teacher and will still be off school. It is not like my many work trips when I have to find early am child care so DH can actually get out the door for work.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.

They go for 3 days, not 8 days. I think that's a long time to leave your family.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.

I go on trips with friends a couple times a year; however, I only go on the weekends when DH is home. During the week, with his schedule, me being gone on a trip would not work out. We can afford small trips occasionally for both of us together and separately, but only when the other is available for the children.

What's the dynamic with your DH in terms of contributions at home and travel? My DH would bless this trip even though 8 days is a lot because he's gotten to take some cool work trips over the last few years. I also do more at home so I think he "owes" me.

I'd be pretty annoyed if my DH denied me a chance of a lifetime to go on this trip.

Considering that your mother offered to finance this trip, at least that takes any financial issues out of the equation.

So now basically your hubby will be mad that you are using your vacation time to be w/your BFF vs. him + the kids.

If you did this every summer, I would see why he would be upset. But it sounds like this is a unique opportunity to do something fun and different and you have every right to be able to go.

Your hunch is correct, your husband most likely does not want to be saddled w/caring for the kids for 8 days straight. Oh well. Tough, I say. They are his kids too and he should care for them as much as I am pretty sure you do.

Honestly, if you have to decline this vacation due to your husband not "allowing" you to go, I promise you that you will always resent him for not letting you go. Your negative feelings will build up inside until one day the anger and bitterness will emerge after something minor occurs.

I say, TELL do not ASK your husband you are going and have a great time.

Anonymous wrote:I think that's a long time to go away. I would feel resentful, even without the financial concerns. Why not just do a weekend trip or something?

The offer on the table is Cuba. I have turned down so many other short trips with the girls that I don't really get invited to those anymore.