Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

and she told me, in a very rude tone of voice (and using my first name, like a child),

I am still trying to figure out what you want to be called in front of your child. I thought adults used first names and children were taught to use Mrs. or Mr. Last Name. I would have thought that saying Mrs. XYZ would be more condescending in front of a child. When you are out with your friends with your children in line do you talk to your friends using Mrs. XYZ?

You are blowing this out of proportion. She was trying to get the kids to follow orders, you were interjecting and interrupting with questions and she had a very directed comment to you. Coming back with 'I don't need to be here because I am high and mighty and volunteering my time' would have any teacher wishing you would just leave at that minute. Nobody has time for that when they are trying to do a job and responsible for 20+ kids.

I do think OP is blowing this out of proportion, but parents and teachers are supposed to use Mr. and Mrs. unless the teacher specifically says something different. You can address yourself with your name, but they in return would still say Mrs. xxx.

Whatever. It may be a generational thing. Younger teachers may be more informal with parents. Also I'm guessing OP is a frequent (and pretty annoying) presence in the school if the teacher even knew her first name to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:You sound crazy.

+1

You're humiliated because someone used your first name (like a child! gasp!) and snapped at you? Get a grip. How unstable is your self-esteem that you can't just move on? You sound rocked to the core. I feel sorry for your child if these are the kind of emotional coping skills you're passing on.

Anonymous wrote:

and she told me, in a very rude tone of voice (and using my first name, like a child),

I am still trying to figure out what you want to be called in front of your child. I thought adults used first names and children were taught to use Mrs. or Mr. Last Name. I would have thought that saying Mrs. XYZ would be more condescending in front of a child. When you are out with your friends with your children in line do you talk to your friends using Mrs. XYZ?

You are blowing this out of proportion. She was trying to get the kids to follow orders, you were interjecting and interrupting with questions and she had a very directed comment to you. Coming back with 'I don't need to be here because I am high and mighty and volunteering my time' would have any teacher wishing you would just leave at that minute. Nobody has time for that when they are trying to do a job and responsible for 20+ kids.

I do think OP is blowing this out of proportion, but parents and teachers are supposed to use Mr. and Mrs. unless the teacher specifically says something different. You can address yourself with your name, but they in return would still say Mrs. xxx.

You are blowing this out of proportion. She was trying to get the kids to follow orders, you were interjecting and interrupting with questions and she had a very directed comment to you. Coming back with 'I don't need to be here because I am high and mighty and volunteering my time' would have any teacher wishing you would just leave at that minute. Nobody has time for that when they are trying to do a job and responsible for 20+ kids.

This!

and she told me, in a very rude tone of voice (and using my first name, like a child),

I am still trying to figure out what you want to be called in front of your child. I thought adults used first names and children were taught to use Mrs. or Mr. Last Name. I would have thought that saying Mrs. XYZ would be more condescending in front of a child. When you are out with your friends with your children in line do you talk to your friends using Mrs. XYZ?

You are blowing this out of proportion. She was trying to get the kids to follow orders, you were interjecting and interrupting with questions and she had a very directed comment to you. Coming back with 'I don't need to be here because I am high and mighty and volunteering my time' would have any teacher wishing you would just leave at that minute. Nobody has time for that when they are trying to do a job and responsible for 20+ kids.

I pointed out that I was volunteering my time and didn't need to be there (as calmly as I could), and she told then I should just get out. I mean, it was not a little "snap" - it was a major insult. Wasn't it?

Let me get this straight. It was the teacher who was rude?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this instance you should let it go. Sounds like she was in the midst of chaos and was frazzled and just snapped at you. If this is ONE instance in almost an entire school year of no problems, of course let it go.

She did not seem frazzled to me. I'm just not sure that it would matter if she was. It was really unprofessional, and I have done a lot to help her this year. I put in so many hours doing things for her that it actually affected my work. It actually got worse after that - I pointed out that I was volunteering my time and didn't need to be there (as calmly as I could), and she told then I should just get out. I mean, it was not a little "snap" - it was a major insult. Wasn't it?

I, I, I, I......This is clearly all about you. I think you may have confused being direct for being rude- unless you provide more details. You want a position of special privilege because you volunteer so much and want to be loudly and publicly recognized for it. She may have snapped because you ask for "clarification" on everything at inconvenient times and procede to berate her with a superior attitude of "well I volunteer a ton and I don't have to be here at all". High maintenance volunteer.

Volunteer for your child and for the school. Do not volunteer so much it affects your job. Do not volunteer to get pats on the back.

Agree. If I were direct with someone and then got a mini lecture about how they didn't need to be there I would want them gone too. Stop projecting your sensitivity and ego onto the situation.

Oh and don't be offended by the use of your first name, per se. You are her peer, not her superior.

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. OP, it's really hard from what you've written to tell what was truly going on.

But If someone is rude to me in public, I don't feel humiliated at all. I know everyone sees the rude person for what they are. Someone else's behavior has zero reflection on YOU. Zero.

If youv'e volunteered a lot in the classroom, what was so different about this event that the institutions needed clarification? I'm not saying clarification wasn't necessary. I'm just trying to get more insight on the dynamic.

Instructions, not intuitions. Autocorrect! Bleh.

New poster here. OP, it's really hard from what you've written to tell what was truly going on.

But If someone is rude to me in public, I don't feel humiliated at all. I know everyone sees the rude person for what they are. Someone else's behavior has zero reflection on YOU. Zero.

If youv'e volunteered a lot in the classroom, what was so different about this event that the institutions needed clarification? I'm not saying clarification wasn't necessary. I'm just trying to get more insight on the dynamic.

I would love to hear how other parents viewed the situation. My sense is that OP is coming here because she didn't get the reaction she would have liked from those that were actually there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this instance you should let it go. Sounds like she was in the midst of chaos and was frazzled and just snapped at you. If this is ONE instance in almost an entire school year of no problems, of course let it go.

She did not seem frazzled to me. I'm just not sure that it would matter if she was. It was really unprofessional, and I have done a lot to help her this year. I put in so many hours doing things for her that it actually affected my work. It actually got worse after that - I pointed out that I was volunteering my time and didn't need to be there (as calmly as I could), and she told then I should just get out. I mean, it was not a little "snap" - it was a major insult. Wasn't it?

I, I, I, I......This is clearly all about you. I think you may have confused being direct for being rude- unless you provide more details. You want a position of special privilege because you volunteer so much and want to be loudly and publicly recognized for it. She may have snapped because you ask for "clarification" on everything at inconvenient times and procede to berate her with a superior attitude of "well I volunteer a ton and I don't have to be here at all". High maintenance volunteer.

Volunteer for your child and for the school. Do not volunteer so much it affects your job. Do not volunteer to get pats on the back.

I've had my child's teacher be extremely rude to me in the beginning of the year. But it was part of a whole slew of other issues, and my child eventually switched to a different class (thank goodness).

Some people are just rude. If you haven't been upset about the way she's handled her class thus far, I also suggest that you let it go. She's not going to change due to one interaction. It's the end of the year and I don't believe it would be worth the fight. She may not even realize that how she behaved hurt your feelings, so she may be stunned and then defensive.

If it bothers you that much send a short email to the teacher expressing your feelings. Do not go above her and contact the principal or go gossiping to other parents. Teaching is stressful and mistakes happen.

Humiliated? Aren't you being a bit dramatic, OP?

I taught 5th grade for 15 years. Getting ready for a field trip IS enough to make one frazzled. You have many details that your are organizing and parents hanging around waiting. The teacher did not call you a name or use profane language. She spoke to you directly. I'm wondering if you might be leaving out a part where you were being annoying by asking unnecessary questions or inserting yourself. She may have tried to ignore it and then finally had to say something directly to you.

Even if all of what you said was true, so what??? Be a big girl and brush it off. Has she been a good teacher all year long? Has she been polite and respectful (not super chummy, but simply polite and respectful) in all other interactions? If so, then allow her some space. Again, she didn't berate you or call you stupid or tell you to shut up. She spoke with you in a direct tone and you were overly sensitive. It's over. Stop looking for some "Yeah girl, you were wronged!" and let it go. This is what adults do.