Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that four year olds can really notice a difference too. If your son is upset about it and the other boys keep teasing him, I'd say something mild to the teachers. Just "hey, my son said his friends are commenting on his private parts, can you try to keep them a little more separate in the bathroom?". My son's daycare/preschool room still just has a corner with two toilets, no stalls, and a half wall separating it from the classroom. The boys and girls go whenever they want but I've never seen them even remotely pay attention to each other.

More important to me would be the conversation with your son. I'd just tell him something simple but true, like "some boys have been circumcised (had a small part of their penis removed) at birth, but we decided that we didn't think it was necessary for you. As you grow up, you'll find that some of your friends look like you and some look like these other boys. I hope you'll never make fun of someone for looking different than you and I'd just tell your friends that it's no big deal to look different from each other." .

+1

Males all have different penises anyway. Just a standard "everyone is a little different, some people are like this, some people are like that" speech is enough for a 4-year-old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have known it would be impossible to have this conversation without the crazies coming out. To be clear - I don't care what any other parent chooses to do with their infant's foreskin.

Anyway, my questions were...did I handle this correctly and should I talk to the teachers.

I don't think my son is making it up since he otherwise doesn't know that there are different looking penises. Re the bathroom...they have a boys' bathroom with little mini urinals so I'm not surprised that the boys are seeing glimpses of others. Also, in summer, they change in and out of swim gear together, separated by gender. I don't see either situation as a big deal or cause for concern.

OP, funny as some are assuming you are the crazy. As a parent, how do you think you should handle this situation? I think you have an issue with it and therefore your child knows and cares. My 5 year old has no clue what one is or cares. I'd be more concerned something more is going on.

What do you think I have an issue with? That my son is being teased? Yes. I posted how I responded to my son and was just asking for feedback on my response. How does that make me crazy?

Hi, OP. Not a crazy judge-r here, but I am a pre-K teacher.

I do _not_ think it's odd that the children have seen each other's private parts, but I _do_ think it's odd that the children have noticed. Not so odd that I'm necessarily concerned. We have one bathroom and the sink is in the bathroom and like it or not there is often more than one child in there at a time, as long as both children are okay with it. Most of the time they don't pay any attention to what the other does or doesn't have between his or her legs -- they're just doing their business and getting back to playing.

I would handle it basically the same way you did. I would tell my child that different people have different bodies and making fun of them is wrong and rude. I would give him some words to tell the other kids if it happened again ("I don't like it when you tease me" or "Please don't say kind words.")

If you do choose to bring it up with the teacher, I would bring it up the same way you would bring up any other concerns of teasing. Your child reported that he had been teased and you'd like the teacher to be aware of it. I don't think the body part being teased is all that relevant necessarily (although it could potentially be).

I don't think the issue is that the children have seen each other's privates. The issue is that there's teasing.

Anonymous wrote:Why are they looking at each other?

Because they are 4 and curious.

Why are they looking at each other?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have known it would be impossible to have this conversation without the crazies coming out. To be clear - I don't care what any other parent chooses to do with their infant's foreskin.

Anyway, my questions were...did I handle this correctly and should I talk to the teachers.

I don't think my son is making it up since he otherwise doesn't know that there are different looking penises. Re the bathroom...they have a boys' bathroom with little mini urinals so I'm not surprised that the boys are seeing glimpses of others. Also, in summer, they change in and out of swim gear together, separated by gender. I don't see either situation as a big deal or cause for concern.

OP, funny as some are assuming you are the crazy. As a parent, how do you think you should handle this situation? I think you have an issue with it and therefore your child knows and cares. My 5 year old has no clue what one is or cares. I'd be more concerned something more is going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are they seeing each other in the bathroom?

Since the rate is about 50/50, I don't understand how this is even an issue.

The more affluent and intellgient areas have higher circumcision rates

Most ironic post of the day.

Get over yourself.

I'm surprised that four year olds can really notice a difference too. If your son is upset about it and the other boys keep teasing him, I'd say something mild to the teachers. Just "hey, my son said his friends are commenting on his private parts, can you try to keep them a little more separate in the bathroom?". My son's daycare/preschool room still just has a corner with two toilets, no stalls, and a half wall separating it from the classroom. The boys and girls go whenever they want but I've never seen them even remotely pay attention to each other.

More important to me would be the conversation with your son. I'd just tell him something simple but true, like "some boys have been circumcised (had a small part of their penis removed) at birth, but we decided that we didn't think it was necessary for you. As you grow up, you'll find that some of your friends look like you and some look like these other boys. I hope you'll never make fun of someone for looking different than you and I'd just tell your friends that it's no big deal to look different from each other." .

OP here. I should have known it would be impossible to have this conversation without the crazies coming out. To be clear - I don't care what any other parent chooses to do with their infant's foreskin.

Anyway, my questions were...did I handle this correctly and should I talk to the teachers.

I don't think my son is making it up since he otherwise doesn't know that there are different looking penises. Re the bathroom...they have a boys' bathroom with little mini urinals so I'm not surprised that the boys are seeing glimpses of others. Also, in summer, they change in and out of swim gear together, separated by gender. I don't see either situation as a big deal or cause for concern.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, FWIW, my uncirced boy is now 13 and nobody gives a hoot. This is like being teased for having a green shirt on.

+1

If someone teases him about his nose, are you going to get him surgery to "fix" that, too?

You say what you say if he gets teased about anything else.

P.S. YES you follow up with the school. Why on earth are they allowing children to see each other's genitalia? This isn't infant care -- a 4-year-old should not be surrounded by others when using the restroom or changing clothing.

If it looked that gross then yes I would.

Just going to leave this here as a great example of the mentality of people who circumcise. Thanks for making it clear how you think!

No, that's not the common mentality. There's one crazy poster here who repeats the same nonsense over and over in ever thread about circumcision. Don't suffer from the same lack of nuanced and critical thinking as that PP.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe something is going on more with your kid. My five year old never has mentioned someone looking at his penis or caring. You'd have to look very closely to really tell. Somehow I think this is made up for attention.

I am tending to agree. I have two uncirc'ed boys who are both now teenagers. This has not been an issue at all. I think it's unusual that kids at that age are "teasing". Noticing, yes, but no more than an uncircumcised boy would notice that a circumcised boy had a different looking penis. I also think it's unusual that they are seeing each other's penises.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, FWIW, my uncirced boy is now 13 and nobody gives a hoot. This is like being teased for having a green shirt on.

+1

If someone teases him about his nose, are you going to get him surgery to "fix" that, too?

You say what you say if he gets teased about anything else.

P.S. YES you follow up with the school. Why on earth are they allowing children to see each other's genitalia? This isn't infant care -- a 4-year-old should not be surrounded by others when using the restroom or changing clothing.

If it looked that gross then yes I would.

Just going to leave this here as a great example of the mentality of people who circumcise. Thanks for making it clear how you think!

Anonymous wrote:never too late to fix this issue, I don't fault you because medical studies have caused everyone to reverse course and finally came out in support of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, FWIW, my uncirced boy is now 13 and nobody gives a hoot. This is like being teased for having a green shirt on.

+1

If someone teases him about his nose, are you going to get him surgery to "fix" that, too?

You say what you say if he gets teased about anything else.

P.S. YES you follow up with the school. Why on earth are they allowing children to see each other's genitalia? This isn't infant care -- a 4-year-old should not be surrounded by others when using the restroom or changing clothing.

If it looked that gross then yes I would.

Anonymous wrote:OP, FWIW, my uncirced boy is now 13 and nobody gives a hoot. This is like being teased for having a green shirt on.

Not exactly. You can take the green shirt off.