Anonymous wrote:OP, you really need to dial it back. Your wedding isn't for another 14 months, and you're already putting together the wording so you can stick it to your SIL. The more you plot and plan how you will get back at your SIL for excluding you from her wedding, the more it will blow up in your face. AND more importantly, it makes you look really petty.

Focus your energy on things like your dress, the reception and building your life together with your fiance.

+1

I feel sorry for your soon to be ex-husband.

Anonymous wrote:PP here. By the way, I would not attend your wedding if nursing babies weren't allowed. Just a heads up since you're talking about an infant.

Could be a blessing in disguise OP. No baby and no annoying SIL. Win-win.

OP, you really need to dial it back. Your wedding isn't for another 14 months, and you're already putting together the wording so you can stick it to your SIL. The more you plot and plan how you will get back at your SIL for excluding you from her wedding, the more it will blow up in your face. AND more importantly, it makes you look really petty.

Focus your energy on things like your dress, the reception and building your life together with your fiance.

Definitely say "no kids" or "adults only" on the invite. There is nothig wrong with this. And if you SIL decides to skip your wedding, then it will be all the much better, no?

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here. By the way, I would not attend your wedding if nursing babies weren't allowed. Just a heads up since you're talking about an infant. [/quote]

A 9 month old isn't an infant! Pump if you are nursing. My 9 month old was walking, and would have been asleep by 7 pm. I wouldn't drag him to someone's wedding. [/quote]

Sorry, but your opinion becomes irrelevant when you say a 9 month olld isn't a infant. [/quote]

No. This PP is right. A 9 month-old is different from a two month-old physiologically. It would be hard to tell a nursing mother of a two month-old to come to a long event without the baby. They need to nurse every few hours. (Although I would have been fine leaving the baby with a trusted sitter in a nearby hotel room and just going back to nurse since my baby never took a bottle.) At 9 months, a baby can be left for longer. I may have run back to the room to nurse quickly before bed, but it is not unreasonable for the OP to ask this of her SIL.

Wait until the invitations go out and just say it's an adults only affair. If pressed, give some information about the reception location and local sitters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. By the way, I would not attend your wedding if nursing babies weren't allowed. Just a heads up since you're talking about an infant.

A 9 month old isn't an infant! Pump if you are nursing. My 9 month old was walking, and would have been asleep by 7 pm. I wouldn't drag him to someone's wedding.

Sorry, but your opinion becomes irrelevant when you say a 9 month olld isn't a infant.

I am not a kid person. Our wedding was absolutely no kids and I was very direct about it so I wouldn't hesitate to pick a time to tell SIL simply and directly, "Our wedding and reception are for adults only so you will need to make childcare arrangements for the baby. Let me know if you need any help finding a sitter for the baby. Several friends at work have wonderful sitters and I am happy to help you with referrals."

OP here. Thank you everyone for the advice, you've been very helpful!

The wording of the invitation envelope determines if the child would be included. I would have your DH let her know and I wouldn't be so vague in letting her know, I would say it is adults only. The more you say we would prefer it and the focus of, etc gives her more leverage for her tantrum about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you have to say the "to keep the focus on us" part.

Just tell her (not now, but when your invitations go out in or 10 months or so) you are having a very small adult only wedding.

End of story.

Agreed. I've noticed some people word the invite "adult reception" to avoid any confusion. I like that. We addresses invites to adults but still had people calling and asking to bring their kids

Sheesh, people are dumb.

Anonymous wrote:PP here. By the way, I would not attend your wedding if nursing babies weren't allowed. Just a heads up since you're talking about an infant.

A 9 month old isn't an infant! Pump if you are nursing. My 9 month old was walking, and would have been asleep by 7 pm. I wouldn't drag him to someone's wedding.

If it is across the board, she can't expect her snowflake to be the exception. No babies is perfectly fine, OP.

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely can say you are having a no child or baby wedding. Just do it. She will indeed be a drama queen about it but whatever.

+1

Your day, your rules. Period. Drama queens be damned.

You're allowed not to have the baby but all of your "stealing the show" stuff is overwrought. Nobody cares one way or the other.

I wouldn't come, but that's what you want so fine do it, bitch.