Honestly, I think almost anyone is beautiful. (I used to play a game with myself in the subway, look for someone's best feature and give them a virtual makeover in my mind.) Almost everyone has some wonderful feature. It's just that lots of people (including myself) aren't focusing on it at any given time. Some people really need to lose weight (me!) but underneath they have stunning skin, hair, bone structure, eye color or something else. For some people, improving make up would help.

But honestly, the people who turn heads - those women - are put together and confident, but generally no better looking underneath it all than anyone else.

Anonymous wrote:I am ugly, too tall and too heavy. I married at age 35 to the only man who ever asked me out and who is even uglier than I am. We have had a great life, and I can almost read people's minds when they see us together: thank God they found each other.

You say you have a great life, but do you wish you had a more attractive husband? Did you just settle because you didn't want to be alone? Would you pick him now if you had your pick of men? Just wondering. I have a few friends who have had a rough time in the looks and attracting men categories, but I didn't have that problem, so I would feel funny asking them directly. Sure everyone has their own answer, but I just wants to finally ask it!

I wonder if some are confusing being truly ugly (of which I think there are few few truly ugly people) with poor self esteem and the way you carry yourself.
I am not naturally beautiful, I think I clean up nicely and pay attention to my appearance. I make an effort at it. I could lose some weight and have been smaller, even recently. While I when I am smaller and in bars/like places, men may try to pick me up more often, I have not noticed a difference between normal street behavior. Men often hold the door for me. My body language tells them I expect it. People do nice things for me. Random people, men to little old ladies chat me up in random places. I like to think it's because I walk with my head up, I'm not looking scared or scowling - though I have noticed when I'm in a hurry, people tend to get out of my way.

I may be completely wrong, but maybe it's something to consider?

My SIL is ugly. Looks like a man, her uncle in drag to be honest. There is nothing feminine about her either. Hair like a wire brush she refuses to tame, never wears makeup, never dresses like she's a girl, is loud and bossy.

Yet this Christmas she sent us a picture of her big ass diamond engagement ring. This will be her second husband. If she can find a man, anyone can.

This is something: non-conventionally attractive women don't need to feel they are just one more accessory of a competitive husband. I know three very attractive women who married quite young to competitive, wealthy young men. Two of them have already had a couple of cosmetic surgeries and the third just drinks all the time. They have beautiful large houses and new cars, and their husbands seem to think of them as similar to those products, in that they need to appear perfect and must be well maintained in order to do so.

I am ugly, too tall and too heavy. I married at age 35 to the only man who ever asked me out and who is even uglier than I am. We have had a great life, and I can almost read people's minds when they see us together: thank God they found each other.

Anonymous wrote:My mom was considered the ugly duckling and her evil witch of a sister was the beauty of the family. By the time they were both in their fifties, people couldn't stop raving about how pretty and beautiful my mom is, and nobody talks about her sister, whose outer appearance now matches her inner ugliness.

My mom was extremely bemused by the "you're so pretty!" exclamations that she attracted. She had maintained her weight and improved her skin, but she didn't realize until later that people were enamored of her positive energy, mental peace, and radiant smile.

My mom's sister might have been more "beautiful", but by the time she had reached middle age she had gained tons of weight and the black poison inside her heart had made itself visible all over her face.

It's true. The lines on your face show how you have lived your life.

I knew I was ugly in high school when a guy I had a crush on saw me in the lunch room, and said, "No way. She's UG-LY!" and then they all started laughing. It's stayed with me my entire life.

My mom was considered the ugly duckling and her evil witch of a sister was the beauty of the family. By the time they were both in their fifties, people couldn't stop raving about how pretty and beautiful my mom is, and nobody talks about her sister, whose outer appearance now matches her inner ugliness.

My mom was extremely bemused by the "you're so pretty!" exclamations that she attracted. She had maintained her weight and improved her skin, but she didn't realize until later that people were enamored of her positive energy, mental peace, and radiant smile.

My mom's sister might have been more "beautiful", but by the time she had reached middle age she had gained tons of weight and the black poison inside her heart had made itself visible all over her face.

I've managed to carve out a pleasant life for myself - married a good man, had two sweet boys, nice house, etc - but I'd be lying if seeing a pretty teenage girl or pretty young woman doesn't sting me, even now. I never had that even in my youth, and will never have it now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's SIL says she was Ugly Betty growing up. She is not a beauty but keeps her hair well-groomed, wears makeup, and has a good sense of humor. She is an attorney and managed to find a husband (my BIL) and have two loving children. Make the most of what you have!

So, who is the lucky one - SIL or BIL?

I'd have to say BIL. He is average-looking and lacks a sense of humor. Everyone likes her.

I was cute enough it my early 20's (with large boobs) and was given a decent amount of attention. I've gained lots if weight and don't have the time or money to maintain nice clothes and makeup like I did then. I realized how the tables had turned when I was walking behind a man and he let a door slam in my face. Then I paid a little more attention and realized how invisible I'd become. My husband is the reverse, he keeps getting better looking. I notice women checking me out.

Anonymous wrote:My husband's SIL says she was Ugly Betty growing up. She is not a beauty but keeps her hair well-groomed, wears makeup, and has a good sense of humor. She is an attorney and managed to find a husband (my BIL) and have two loving children. Make the most of what you have!

So, who is the lucky one - SIL or BIL?

My husband's SIL says she was Ugly Betty growing up. She is not a beauty but keeps her hair well-groomed, wears makeup, and has a good sense of humor. She is an attorney and managed to find a husband (my BIL) and have two loving children. Make the most of what you have!

17:06 PP here, I had a decent number of serious boyfriends before I met my husband but they were all guys I knew as friends or acquaintances from before, so they knew me and liked me for my personality. Never got randomly hit on/picked up, my friends never set me up with a guy. Probably could have gone to the bars and gotten drunk and left with an equally as drunk if not drunker guy, but that was never my thing.