The Clinton/Lewinsky thing led to some interesting conversations. I judged her because I think you should have better judgment than to hook up with your married boss. I judged him more harshly because you should have better judgment as a married man than to hook up with your subordinates, and because I didn't like the power imbalance that was at play. Yes, she was an adult, but he was much more of an adult and should have known better.

That said, I don't necessarily think infidelity makes one a bad president. You can have bad judgment in your personal life and have good judgment in your political decisions. I wish he'd kept it professional, though, and slept with women outside the political realm.

If I were Clinton's handler, I'd have one bit of advice for him: "Only sleep with women who have something big to lose. Like Fortune 500 CEO's wives." When you sleep with people who have nothing to lose and a lot to gain by exposing you, you will get exposed. (like Gennifer Flowers.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anyway, I never felt anything for Monica but embarrassment on her behalf. Like all the rest of us don't give BJs.

Wait, the rest of you give BJs?! I'm going to have to have a talk with my wife.

Well, no, not anymore since I'm married.

#1. Agree with people who said if it's a friend who keeps hooking up and then getting upset. I don't think that's slut-shaming though, that is just saying "Maybe you should use common sense."

#2. If people are taking risky behavior (not using protection for both STDs and pregnancy), that gets some judgment from me.

#3. If there are kids in the mix and they see the revolving door of boyfriends/casual dates, I judge big time. Do what you want on weekends you don't have kids, but keep the kids out of it. And frankly, a lot of women bury their head in the sand - you think your 12 year old daughter doesn't see you spending 2 hours a night on Tinder? You think your son doesn't see what's going on when you drop him at Grandma's every Friday night? When people put their booty calls ahead of their children, I am VERY judgmental.

So basically, be safe, don't expose your kids to it, and don't complain about the consequences - and I've got no problem with it.

Anonymous wrote:
Anyway, I never felt anything for Monica but embarrassment on her behalf. Like all the rest of us don't give BJs.

Wait, the rest of you give BJs?! I'm going to have to have a talk with my wife.

Anonymous wrote:Are women under any obligation to report the number of their partners? LOL

No more than men are under any obligation to report income, assets, number of current partners, criminal history, sexual preference, or anything else.

Anonymous wrote:More women slut shame than men. The first large scale example that hit home with me was Monica Lewinsky. Women were furious with her and, yet, had no animosity toward Bill Clinton. I was flabbergasted. He was the one in a position of power. He was the married one, yet she shouldered almost all the blame.

Middle-aged women all over DC were outraged at Monica. That was some grand scale slut shaming.

Why do we so often let the man get a free pass?

My dad loves to ask me, "how do you excuse Bill Clinton for what he did?" Answer: I don't. I think most humans are a mix of good and bad traits. You have to acknowledge the bad as you celebrate the good. Thomas Jefferson was a great man and also a slave owner who fathered children on his slave. Kennedy was arguably a great politician and a philanderer.

BTW, his question comes from a man who was married, had kids, knocked up his mistress, got divorced and remarried. His ability to throw stones at another man for his colossally stupid sexual transgressions astonishes me.

Anyway, I never felt anything for Monica but embarrassment on her behalf. Like all the rest of us don't give BJs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Jealousy. Women hate women who guys love.


PP here. It is jealousy on the male end too. Insecure betas hate women who they can't have.

It's not the "betas" who slut shame. It's the "alpha" with big ego who can't understand why he does not get the girls(b/c he gives off the creeps).

If he's not getting girls, that's a pretty clear sign he isn't Alpha.

Anonymous wrote:
Jealousy. Women hate women who guys love.


PP here. It is jealousy on the male end too. Insecure betas hate women who they can't have.

It's not the "betas" who slut shame. It's the "alpha" with big ego who can't understand why he does not get the girls(b/c he gives off the creeps).

More women slut shame than men. The first large scale example that hit home with me was Monica Lewinsky. Women were furious with her and, yet, had no animosity toward Bill Clinton. I was flabbergasted. He was the one in a position of power. He was the married one, yet she shouldered almost all the blame.

Middle-aged women all over DC were outraged at Monica. That was some grand scale slut shaming.

Why do we so often let the man get a free pass?

I don't slut shame but I do think it makes dating harder for more conservative women.

Because women should never be as stupid and disgusting as men.

Anonymous wrote:Are women under any obligation to report the number of their partners? LOL

Of course not - no more so than men are. But as a woman I'd be bothered if I knew that someone who I was considering entering into a relationship with had slept with 100+ women.

Are women under any obligation to report the number of their partners? LOL

I don't slut shame ...... nothing better than a woman who is willing to put out with no expectations of a LTR. So I can't OTOH view this as desirable and yet slut shame women who do so.

Where I am somewhat ambivalent is how I would view a woman for a LTR if she had ten partners versus say one hundred. I don't know if there is a number where I'd feel a woman has had an excessive number of partners.

I don't slut shame women. But I feel sorry for them that they are so insecure that they have to be with lots of guys who use them over and over....unless they are truly liberated and are celebrating their ability to have meaningless sex like men--in which case I feel sorry for them because I think meaningless sex is kind of sad and desperate and unattractive, for both men and women. So I am equal opportunity but I do not shame in part because I think feelings of shame are already what drive this kind of behavior. EG I think if someone has an affair with a married man or woman I think it's kind of pathetic and sad.