Anonymous
05/02/2015 11:31
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:I am aware that I sound crazy, but here it goes...
My mom had a stillborn a few years before I was born, but I always had a feeling that she was still out there. I think one reason I've always been suspicious is that my mom was very healthy. She birthed a 10 pound baby before the stillborn and two breech babies after. Also, my parents were extremely distrustful of that hospital. Even though it was right down the street, my parents would always drive 45 miles to the next hospital instead. They never said why they refused to go there. Makes me wonder what happened there. AND I recently heard about a hospital in the same region that allegedly sold babies after telling the parents it died. So that really got me thinking about it.
How would I go about researching this? I don't even know the date of birth. My parents do not like talking about it so I hate to ask them.
This post literally makes me ill.
I am very healthy, as were (and are) all my living children. My live births each weighed 10 pounds, no gestational diabetes, very healthy. My living children were delivered vaginally, one with no interventions whatsoever.
Nevertheless, one of my babies was stillborn. Although the hospital in which I delivered that baby had nothing whatsoever to do with her death and handled my case with a great deal of sensitivity, I never wanted to enter the doors of that hospital again (and never have). It is a terrible thing to labor and deliver a dead baby. Terrible.
Your fixation with this borders on obscene.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 11:19
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Maybe they are distrustful of that hospital because they think it's the doctors' fault that their baby died.
This. She. You hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 11:09
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Let it go
Pp You are a truly horrible person
Huh? So it would be reasonable to encourage a poster to begin a huge search based on the poster's "evidence" that a healthy woman who had successfully delivered babies couldn't have had a stillborn. Therefore there wasn't a stillborn birth. What kind of critical thinking skills do you have?
It is unreasonable to so callously dismiss a person who has reached out for help. So yes, you trolly Polly are a horrible person.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 10:34
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Are you AA? The hospital selling newborns was a segregated hospital. Btw, cord accidents are quite common. My younger DD had the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times as well as a true knot. Luckily, she was induced.
I had the same question. That hospital took babies in the 50's and 60's from black women between the ages of about 15 to 25.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 10:32
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Maybe they are distrustful of that hospital because they think it's the doctors' fault that their baby died.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 10:20
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
OP - your parents knew what happened and either it's the truth or they didn't tell you for a reason. It's quite likely the truth, or something very not good happened and they did what they thought was best.
A "hunch" based on the things you cited is not a basis to do anything. Invest in your now life.
A "hunch" based on the things you cited is not a basis to do anything. Invest in your now life.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 09:11
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, I think I have a good and easy roadmap for you:
First, order a kit from 23andMe.com. $99. They are the company that sequenced the Neanderthal genome, btw--very reputable.
The kit collects your saliva and it's pre-paid and you drop it in the mailbox. You do have to wait about 5 weeks while it's being processed.
It gives you a bunch of fun information: your percentage of Neanderthal genes, your maternal Haplogroup (mom's mom's mom's line), if you are male, it will also give you your Y haplogroup. It breaks down your DNA so you can see what % you are Italian, or Yakut, etc.
However; for your purposes here, it also tells you if you are related to anyone else on this website. There are tons of adoptees on that website looking for blood relatives. And there's community boards, and one called "adoptees" and the people on there are very helpful. They also recommend a very good group of people who had an amazing success rate at tracking down people (I don't remember that group's name but it's easy to find once on the website)
Most importantly, 23andMe gives you access to your "raw data" ---your genome. So, (besides uploading it to another website to get health info and risk factors), you can upload your results to something called GEDmatch, which has a huge, huge database.
And I think you can also upload to ancestry.com and there are a few more websites you can upload to. Anyways, once on 23andMe the world will open up to you with respect to how to proceed.
This. It might be a small chance the person is out there and on the site but if they had kids or grandkids you'll connect with that DNA. Good luck and go with your gut!
My cousin did 23 and me because several family members were interested in our heritage and on a whim she decided to do it to. She found out she had a close relative in Utah. Turns out her aunt gave up a baby for adoption but my cousin never knew. Her family ended up contacting the person who is now grown and has children. They had a big family reunion last year.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 09:03
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Let it go
Pp You are a truly horrible person
Huh? So it would be reasonable to encourage a poster to begin a huge search based on the poster's "evidence" that a healthy woman who had successfully delivered babies couldn't have had a stillborn. Therefore there wasn't a stillborn birth. What kind of critical thinking skills do you have?
Anonymous
05/02/2015 08:56
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Let it go
Pp You are a truly horrible person
Why is she horrible? Does this sister want to be found? What would op gain and lose from finding the answer? That isn't obvious to me, either.
OP, look around for those registries that help adopted people who are looking to be found. Provide your contact info, so if this child ever looks she can find. Then let it go.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 08:44
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
If your gut tells you that something is "off," you may be on to something.
I am sorry, but I cannot advise you on how to go about seeking information about this. Since your parents are still living, is there any way you can get them to discuss this more with you?
While I imagine having a stillborn must be very traumatic, I find it quite odd that your parents refuse to discuss this with you.
This is a red flag that something may not be right here. I think it is a possibility that they could be withholding information from you.
I am sorry, but I cannot advise you on how to go about seeking information about this. Since your parents are still living, is there any way you can get them to discuss this more with you?
While I imagine having a stillborn must be very traumatic, I find it quite odd that your parents refuse to discuss this with you.
This is a red flag that something may not be right here. I think it is a possibility that they could be withholding information from you.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 08:35
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, I think I have a good and easy roadmap for you:
First, order a kit from 23andMe.com. $99. They are the company that sequenced the Neanderthal genome, btw--very reputable.
The kit collects your saliva and it's pre-paid and you drop it in the mailbox. You do have to wait about 5 weeks while it's being processed.
It gives you a bunch of fun information: your percentage of Neanderthal genes, your maternal Haplogroup (mom's mom's mom's line), if you are male, it will also give you your Y haplogroup. It breaks down your DNA so you can see what % you are Italian, or Yakut, etc.
However; for your purposes here, it also tells you if you are related to anyone else on this website. There are tons of adoptees on that website looking for blood relatives. And there's community boards, and one called "adoptees" and the people on there are very helpful. They also recommend a very good group of people who had an amazing success rate at tracking down people (I don't remember that group's name but it's easy to find once on the website)
Most importantly, 23andMe gives you access to your "raw data" ---your genome. So, (besides uploading it to another website to get health info and risk factors), you can upload your results to something called GEDmatch, which has a huge, huge database.
And I think you can also upload to ancestry.com and there are a few more websites you can upload to. Anyways, once on 23andMe the world will open up to you with respect to how to proceed.
This. It might be a small chance the person is out there and on the site but if they had kids or grandkids you'll connect with that DNA. Good luck and go with your gut!
Anonymous
05/02/2015 08:33
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Anonymous wrote:Let it go
Pp You are a truly horrible person
Anonymous
05/02/2015 08:19
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Your parents may have thought there was malpractice but at that time it was how life was.
My mother thought she was pregnant - her OB dismissed her and ordered anti-depressents. My brother has learning disabilites.
Is it anyone's fault? Who knows. Did she change drs and drive 1/2 and hour to another one. Yes.
My mother thought she was pregnant - her OB dismissed her and ordered anti-depressents. My brother has learning disabilites.
Is it anyone's fault? Who knows. Did she change drs and drive 1/2 and hour to another one. Yes.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 08:18
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Ok OP, I think I have a good and easy roadmap for you:
First, order a kit from 23andMe.com. $99. They are the company that sequenced the Neanderthal genome, btw--very reputable.
The kit collects your saliva and it's pre-paid and you drop it in the mailbox. You do have to wait about 5 weeks while it's being processed.
It gives you a bunch of fun information: your percentage of Neanderthal genes, your maternal Haplogroup (mom's mom's mom's line), if you are male, it will also give you your Y haplogroup. It breaks down your DNA so you can see what % you are Italian, or Yakut, etc.
However; for your purposes here, it also tells you if you are related to anyone else on this website. There are tons of adoptees on that website looking for blood relatives. And there's community boards, and one called "adoptees" and the people on there are very helpful. They also recommend a very good group of people who had an amazing success rate at tracking down people (I don't remember that group's name but it's easy to find once on the website)
Most importantly, 23andMe gives you access to your "raw data" ---your genome. So, (besides uploading it to another website to get health info and risk factors), you can upload your results to something called GEDmatch, which has a huge, huge database.
And I think you can also upload to ancestry.com and there are a few more websites you can upload to. Anyways, once on 23andMe the world will open up to you with respect to how to proceed.
First, order a kit from 23andMe.com. $99. They are the company that sequenced the Neanderthal genome, btw--very reputable.
The kit collects your saliva and it's pre-paid and you drop it in the mailbox. You do have to wait about 5 weeks while it's being processed.
It gives you a bunch of fun information: your percentage of Neanderthal genes, your maternal Haplogroup (mom's mom's mom's line), if you are male, it will also give you your Y haplogroup. It breaks down your DNA so you can see what % you are Italian, or Yakut, etc.
However; for your purposes here, it also tells you if you are related to anyone else on this website. There are tons of adoptees on that website looking for blood relatives. And there's community boards, and one called "adoptees" and the people on there are very helpful. They also recommend a very good group of people who had an amazing success rate at tracking down people (I don't remember that group's name but it's easy to find once on the website)
Most importantly, 23andMe gives you access to your "raw data" ---your genome. So, (besides uploading it to another website to get health info and risk factors), you can upload your results to something called GEDmatch, which has a huge, huge database.
And I think you can also upload to ancestry.com and there are a few more websites you can upload to. Anyways, once on 23andMe the world will open up to you with respect to how to proceed.
Anonymous
05/02/2015 08:13
Subject: What if my sister wasn't really stillborn? How to research?
Are you AA? The hospital selling newborns was a segregated hospital. Btw, cord accidents are quite common. My younger DD had the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times as well as a true knot. Luckily, she was induced.