Anonymous wrote:Promise to do, and not begrudge, all the extra work that comes with the extra kids you want but he doesn't.

This will never work. They both need to be "all-in" or not at all.

Four is a lot. But if you're going to do it, get on it fast. We waited too long and only had one.

I think four kids is a little much. Even though you both love being parents, imagine with four kids how chaotic your life will be. The house will be a total mess all the time, it will never be quiet and finances will be stressful.

And it wouldn't be fair to the child you are already parents to.

How about a compromise to your husband? Perhaps three kids instead of four?!

I have 3. My advice is that, like blackjack, you're usually probably better sticking at 2. Every once in a while one of them is away, and I think "Wow, this parenting thing is almost pleasant when there's only 2."

Anonymous wrote:This is a long time away from now. Worry about having your next before you worry about your fourth.

YES TO THIS!!!! And enjoy the one you have...

"Just fine" with one baby doesn't mean you can afford four.

OP, get on a tight budget and save as much as you can. That should make your DH comfortable that you are capable of living frugally, and that you have a head start on savings so you can take it slower when you have more kids.

Promise to do, and not begrudge, all the extra work that comes with the extra kids you want but he doesn't.