I'm just not that into other people's kids. If anything though, I'm closer to the kids of my good friends because I see the more often. My nieces and nephews are all out of town.

Anonymous wrote:These aren't HIS nieces and nephews, they are OUR nieces and nephews. We have a strained relationship with one of his siblings, and therefore very limited interactions with their young adults. His other sibling lives far away but we try to maintain relationships via emails, FB, and phone calls between DH and his brother and me and SIL.

Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading this...I have always considered my DH's brother's kids my nieces and nephews too and love them, have a good relationship with them, etc. every family is different, of course, but I can't imagine not being interested in them just because they are related to me by marriage and not by blood.

I love my SIL's kids as much as my sister's. However, I'm not as close to them. My sister and I are very close and see each other lots. I take my cues from DH when it comes to his family, and we simply don't see them as much. I'd love to see them more . . .

I'm the one who sends DH's brother's kids birthday and Christmas presents, because I'm the one who does all the gift-buying for our family. In return, BIL and his wife didn't send so much as a sympathy card to me when my mom died. And this year my DS's birthday came and went with no card or gift from them. I would like to be more forgiving of their forgetfulness (or should that be thoughtlessness) but DH is away on military operations and I thought that this year they could have made some effort for DS. One of their kids has just had a birthday and another is about to. I usually enjoy finding, wrapping and posting presents to them, because they are nice kids, but now I that I feel that my efforts are not appreciated it's just a $20 bill in a card from me from now on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very strange. Isn't that the objective of marriage - becoming one? No way would I distinguish nieces and nephews born to my siblings for those born to DH's brother.

??? Wtf.

In our family we do not distinguish one side from the other. In fact, DH calls my mom "mom". If MIL knew that, I am sure she would have an absolute hissy fit. Which would kind of amusing to me, really.

In DH's family, I call MIL by her first name, and they (the ILs) are very much "well, they aren't REALLY YOUR aunt, uncle, etc." regarding their side. The ILs attitude, about refusing to be inclusive (unless it suits them, of course) is disgusting to me, frankly.

My MIL refers to me as an aunt to my DH's nieces and nephews, but is sure to add that I not a "blood relative." It's like she doesn't want them to get too close to me as if I could separate from the family at any moment.

My BILs are smart, successful and very critical. As a result, we are not close to their children. We do see each other at family get-togethers and are friendly at these, but the cousins are not close. I wish it were different but you can't change people's personalities.

Anonymous wrote:Very strange. Isn't that the objective of marriage - becoming one? No way would I distinguish nieces and nephews born to my siblings for those born to DH's brother.

??? Wtf.

In our family we do not distinguish one side from the other. In fact, DH calls my mom "mom". If MIL knew that, I am sure she would have an absolute hissy fit. Which would kind of amusing to me, really.

In DH's family, I call MIL by her first name, and they (the ILs) are very much "well, they aren't REALLY YOUR aunt, uncle, etc." regarding their side. The ILs attitude, about refusing to be inclusive (unless it suits them, of course) is disgusting to me, frankly.

Not really, but her mom moved her away from all of us. I used to send christmas and birthday gifts, but I never got a thank you. When they moved and didn't give me the new address, I figured they didn't care about the gifts anymore either.

No.

We have little to no interaction with one set - they live in bum-f AL and we see them maybe every couple of years. The other set lives slight closer but still 4+ hours away. We see them maybe once a year.
The bum-f Al set, I don't care about, BIL & SIL are "Obama is coming for our guns!" types and we have very little in common with them.
I have a mild interest in the slightly closer set but again we don't see them that often so my interaction with them is limited to "What grade are you in now?" when I do see them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife is like this. We go to their house so the kids can play, and see each other at other family gatherings. But I don't think she's ever asked my kids anything like "Hey Johnnie, how's soccer going?" once in 5 years. It's extremely bizarre.

Why is it bizarre? There are people who don't care about other people's kids.

That's kind of sad. We're not talking the kids of total strangers, but family. I think most normal people think it's basic decency to engage with family members (including the kids) when you happen to see them. Doesn't mean you have to go to every practice or game, but when you see each other at a family get together, it's really weird to not interact at all.

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife is like this. We go to their house so the kids can play, and see each other at other family gatherings. But I don't think she's ever asked my kids anything like "Hey Johnnie, how's soccer going?" once in 5 years. It's extremely bizarre.

Why is it bizarre? There are people who don't care about other people's kids.

My brother's wife is like this. We go to their house so the kids can play, and see each other at other family gatherings. But I don't think she's ever asked my kids anything like "Hey Johnnie, how's soccer going?" once in 5 years. It's extremely bizarre.

I am not interested in my own nieces and nephews, let alone DH'. They have their own parents to pay attention to them. That said, both DH and I avoid family gatherings.

These aren't HIS nieces and nephews, they are OUR nieces and nephews.

This.