Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a leadership skill building component

examples pls? tks.

scouts, student government, officers in other clubs or groups, umping or refereeing, coaching.....

can one gain leadership skills by playing a sport though?

Why would you push your child to do an activity they didn't like? So they're unhappy with it, what does that get you? There is a cost. Our kids are losing the time previous generations spent reading for pleasure, using their imaginations, exploring.

My kids did activities they chose so they did a lot of different things -- art, instruments, sports -- but not all at once. The only rule was that once we signed up for an activity, that they chose, they had to stick it out for the entire session even if they didn't like it.

It financially has to be reasonable - so nothing involving horses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kids don't want to do anything structured, that is fine. They can play outside, do chores, bike in the neighborhood, volunteer etc...

If you complain about them only playing Pokeman and Mindcraft than YOU are to blame. By giving them screens. No one's fault but your own that your kids are addicting to sitting in front of a screen and don't want to do much else. Forcing them into structured activities they don't want to do won't help the underlying issue. Waste of money.

How about your just parent them instead.

You know so little and yet think you know so much....the pokemon they play is card based, not electronic. They are each limiter to 20 min. Minecraft per day. I said that is what THEY WOULD choose to do all the time....not how they actually spend every waking minute.

So send them outside to play or give them chores. If they don't like either, they can find another interest

Anonymous wrote:I tried the PP's advice on my kid (1 leadership, 1 social, etc.) and got laughed at.

You don't tell them that. You just support the ones that do. Many do it all in one group.

Anonymous wrote:If your kids don't want to do anything structured, that is fine. They can play outside, do chores, bike in the neighborhood, volunteer etc...

If you complain about them only playing Pokeman and Mindcraft than YOU are to blame. By giving them screens. No one's fault but your own that your kids are addicting to sitting in front of a screen and don't want to do much else. Forcing them into structured activities they don't want to do won't help the underlying issue. Waste of money.

How about your just parent them instead.

You know so little and yet think you know so much....the pokemon they play is card based, not electronic. They are each limiter to 20 min. Minecraft per day. I said that is what THEY WOULD choose to do all the time....not how they actually spend every waking minute.

I tried the PP's advice on my kid (1 leadership, 1 social, etc.) and got laughed at.

If your kids don't want to do anything structured, that is fine. They can play outside, do chores, bike in the neighborhood, volunteer etc...

If you complain about them only playing Pokeman and Mindcraft than YOU are to blame. By giving them screens. No one's fault but your own that your kids are addicting to sitting in front of a screen and don't want to do much else. Forcing them into structured activities they don't want to do won't help the underlying issue. Waste of money.

How about your just parent them instead.

Anonymous wrote:I think "requiring" kids to do an activity (or more than one) to build skill, exercise, socialize, learn leadership, etc. is damn good parenting. I wish my parents had done this for me. i truly believe i would be a different person (for the better) if they had done this.
My kids are "joiners" so this is not an issue for them - in fact like a pp i have to rein them in sometimes. But my stepson had to be required to participate in an activity when he began high school. An introverted kid, he said no to everything. He needed a push. Long story short - he is no longer an introverted kid. He is an athlete and a leader and has a wonderful social life built around his club sport. My husband, his ex, her husband, myself and our boy could not be more pleased. A little tired but very happy!

I agree some kids need a push to get out of their comfort zone.

That said, I wish people wouldn't use "introverted" when they really mean quiet or isolated or shy or hesitant to engage. Introversion is a basic temperament. An introvert does not stop being an introvert. And an introvert doesn't necessarily not want to be social and engaged but may want to get deeply involved in fewer activities or be attracted to different kinds of activities (e.g., my introverted DD likes fencing and hates team sports). Extroverts may need a push too. DS is super extroverted but also resistant to trying new activities so he needs a push too, but a different kind of push and is more likely to do something if friends are doing it while what her friends are doing means little to introvert DD.

I think "requiring" kids to do an activity (or more than one) to build skill, exercise, socialize, learn leadership, etc. is damn good parenting. I wish my parents had done this for me. i truly believe i would be a different person (for the better) if they had done this.
My kids are "joiners" so this is not an issue for them - in fact like a pp i have to rein them in sometimes. But my stepson had to be required to participate in an activity when he began high school. An introverted kid, he said no to everything. He needed a push. Long story short - he is no longer an introverted kid. He is an athlete and a leader and has a wonderful social life built around his club sport. My husband, his ex, her husband, myself and our boy could not be more pleased. A little tired but very happy!

Two kids, both currently doing 3-4 activities

6th grade DS – 1 sport per season (alternates between soccer and baseball), school band, after school robotics class, church youth group
4th grade DD – 1 sport (year round), school band, girl scouts. Occasionally also takes an art class.

I insisted that they play an instrument in 4th-5th grade because I wanted them exposed to that but did not require that they continue it in MS. DS did choose to continue. I think DD is unlikely to since she much prefers the visual arts and would have to choose between that and music for her elective. If DS continues, we may have him start doing private lessons to put him in a better position for auditioning for HS band.

For DS, I didn’t have to insist on a sport since he wants to play with his friends but would have insisted if I needed to since he’s a kid who would otherwise just want to play video games all the time.

For DD, she doesn’t like sports and I never insisted because she was otherwise always very active and playing outdoors on her own. Last summer she finally decided she wanted to try a sport and after a rough start is now enjoying that. From now on we will require that she continue it (or another sport), not so much for the exercise aspect but in terms of learning to practice and get better at a skill, and learning to deal with competition (she has a really hard time with that).

Both are expected to participate in church youth group starting in 6th grade. They do a variety of social, spiritual, and community service activities including a 1-week summer work trip. DS griped about it at the beginning of the year but now really enjoys it and complains if he has to miss it for another activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a leadership skill building component [/b]

examples pls? tks.

scouts, student government, officers in other clubs or groups, umping or refereeing, coaching.....

Anonymous wrote:a leadership skill building component [/b]

examples pls? tks.

I have all the input. Sixth grade 12 yr old girl. Ice skating twice a week, volunteer gig once a week, running club once a week, track twice a week, and GSA once a ... month? week? I don't know.

She's welcome to do everything I can afford and everything she can do while still maintaining her grades.