OP my son is in K and I have volunteered during recess many times. There are all kinds of things going on during recess. Kids bounce off each other, run around like crazy, push, hit, kick, some cliqueish activity etc. My son was having the same problem you describe he only wanted an indoor recess. So we role played that he will go to recess look for a friend from class and say "let's play or I am playing too". It totally worked and he loves recess now.

The problem isn't recess. You need to find out what is going on. Meet with the teacher in person.

I vote creepy.

If you look like a typical soccer mom, no one will care. I'm a middle aged AA man, If I were to hang around the playground "looking at my kids" bet money cops would be there in a minute. Why? Well, it's creepy.....

OP, I suspect your kid is not is quiet and a bit shy, playgrounds are generally enjoyed by the more aggressive, active types. She still needs exercise though. Coach her to find the other like minded kids and play tag. There are many like her, it's not that unusual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. I send an email to the teacher, and appreciate the book recommendation. DC (a boy) has friends outside of school, and in school -- but the friendships in the classroom seem not to apply to playground time.

I'm taking a guess-- is he mainly friends with the boys in his class, but he doesn't really like chasing the ball around, and that's what the boys are doing when they go out? Recess can be hard for kids who aren't really physical.

My son is in first grade and this is the dynamic at his school too...many many of the boys spend recess playing four square or basketball. Plus, they are out with the fifth graders, so the first grade boys who are more reserved and less into sports probably don't enjoy recess as much.

My child was having bullying issues during recess and I was told I would not be allowed to observe during recess. I never tried the stalker-ish stand by the fence method--our school isn't really well set for that, anyway. I'd need binoculars or something to see what's going on on the blacktop area. And if the playground aides saw an adult standing in the woods watching the kids with binoculars and didn't call the cops....then I'd be very, very concerned.

No it's not trespassing and no it's not creepy. The pp is right. No harm in quietly checking things out in he background a couple of times. Why is that weird?

I used to work as a daycare teacher and I always urge friends to do the same at the daycare level. Observe from afar a few times and listen at the door outside the hallway for a few minutes. You can learn a lot more about your kids day that way.

As a PP said, if you check in at the office and they know your concern, that is different.

Otherwise, you do know that there are concerns about people who "watch" kids on playgrounds from the fence? Creepy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ps. teacher here--I really do not agree with the standing at the fence and watching advice. Not unless the teacher knows. Kind of reeks of stalking.

I'm the PP who did that. I live across the street and volunteer at school (plus I'm on the PTA Board). But even if they don't know you from Adam, you bet your bottom dollar I would encourage a parent to do this if their child reports being bullied on the playground - as a parent, sometimes you just have to do what you've got to do, for the sake of your child. Who cares if it looks weird? There is nothing wrong with it - you're not taking photos or touching anyone. Recess volunteers can't be everywhere at once, and my child did not want to report anything to them. I was the only adult witness that day of what a group of boys did to my child.

Stop being so ridiculous.

Nope. Still creepy. Plus, if you are on school property you are technically trespassing. This is the same as peeking in the classroom windows. It's inappropriate.

No it's not trespassing and no it's not creepy. The pp is right. No harm in quietly checking things out in he background a couple of times. Why is that weird?

I used to work as a daycare teacher and I always urge friends to do the same at the daycare level. Observe from afar a few times and listen at the door outside the hallway for a few minutes. You can learn a lot more about your kids day that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ps. teacher here--I really do not agree with the standing at the fence and watching advice. Not unless the teacher knows. Kind of reeks of stalking.

Can you stalk your own young child?

Your kid isn't the only one on the playground. You are there to watch how he/she interacts with other kids.

Anonymous wrote:Trespassing? I am on and off my kids' school property all the time. Is it really trespassing?

If you are sneaking around without permission to be there then that's tresspassing. If you sign in at the front office and tell them your purpose for being there and the school is cool with it then you are not tresspassing.

Trespassing? I am on and off my kids' school property all the time. Is it really trespassing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ps. teacher here--I really do not agree with the standing at the fence and watching advice. Not unless the teacher knows. Kind of reeks of stalking.

I'm the PP who did that. I live across the street and volunteer at school (plus I'm on the PTA Board). But even if they don't know you from Adam, you bet your bottom dollar I would encourage a parent to do this if their child reports being bullied on the playground - as a parent, sometimes you just have to do what you've got to do, for the sake of your child. Who cares if it looks weird? There is nothing wrong with it - you're not taking photos or touching anyone. Recess volunteers can't be everywhere at once, and my child did not want to report anything to them. I was the only adult witness that day of what a group of boys did to my child.

Stop being so ridiculous.

Nope. Still creepy. Plus, if you are on school property you are technically trespassing. This is the same as peeking in the classroom windows. It's inappropriate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. I send an email to the teacher, and appreciate the book recommendation. DC (a boy) has friends outside of school, and in school -- but the friendships in the classroom seem not to apply to playground time.

I'm taking a guess-- is he mainly friends with the boys in his class, but he doesn't really like chasing the ball around, and that's what the boys are doing when they go out? Recess can be hard for kids who aren't really physical.

Yeah, also at our school, there are approximately 300 kids out at a time, with one or two soccer fields and one basketball area. Do the math, and obviously it's not possible for every kid to join in the game. If he's not aggressive, I can see where he'd spend all the time just hanging around.

Gee, maybe you're at our school. It also seems like lord of the flies to me. There are like 4 playground aides for 300 kids at a time, and they are apparently elderly and just stand around in a clump. There's not enough play ground equipment, balls or space to play, and there are long lines for things like the monkey bars. My older child dreads recess every day and is thrilled when it rains and they can stay inside and play board games. She says by the time she even finds anyone to play with, recess is over. I know other parents that have left public school just because their child was so miserable and intimidated by the recess vibe. I definitely think its the weak link in the public school educational chain. I'm not sure what the solution is, but the current situations is not ideal.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. I send an email to the teacher, and appreciate the book recommendation. DC (a boy) has friends outside of school, and in school -- but the friendships in the classroom seem not to apply to playground time.

I'm taking a guess-- is he mainly friends with the boys in his class, but he doesn't really like chasing the ball around, and that's what the boys are doing when they go out? Recess can be hard for kids who aren't really physical.

Anonymous wrote:ps. teacher here--I really do not agree with the standing at the fence and watching advice. Not unless the teacher knows. Kind of reeks of stalking.

Can you stalk your own young child?