Anonymous
Post 04/15/2015 14:14     Subject: Anyone have a MIL who hates you for no reason?
My MIL thinks it is all about her during other peoples weddings, funerals, births, etc. That about did it for me!
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2015 14:13     Subject: Anyone have a MIL who hates you for no reason?
Anonymous wrote:I am always amazed by the vitriol in MIL threads. It looks like some women, both MILs and DILs, have zero ability for introspection and critical thinking. Family relationships can get very emotional, but I agree that "she hates me for nothing" statement is immature and self-centered.

The question I always ask to myself is: Don't any of these women have sons? Or are they completely incapable of empathy? Seriously, degree of hatred towards MILs on these boards is nothing compared to what I see IRL. As if the fake poster is having a field day!


IRL, it is much harder to work out the issues, and certainly harder to voice the issues. On DCUM, strangers can ask each other what they do, or would do, in their situation, if this happened to them. The original question is aimed at DILs, obviously. MILs are free to start their own threads, if they feel so inclined.

It seems that sometimes, if there is only one DIL in the family, and especially if there are daughters (DHs sisters) in the family, the other women may be insecure, unaccepting, cold, petulant, hard to please, exclusive, ungrateful and/or critical. If it is hard for you to imagine, be grateful. It was hard for me to imagine before I met my ILs.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2015 14:12     Subject: Anyone have a MIL who hates you for no reason?
Anonymous wrote:MIL does not act (key word here) supportive of me because she sees my being opposite her as a personal attack of some sort.

DH married opposite MIL for many, many damn good reasons.





Uh oh. I think my DH is a polygamist!

I'll add that my MIL adores my EX SIL because SIL very much needs my MIL and there's lot of dependency there. Also, both women are mentally unhinged and total flakes. The two are very much alike and for that reason, EXSIL can do no wrong.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2015 13:55     Subject: Anyone have a MIL who hates you for no reason?
I am always amazed by the vitriol in MIL threads. It looks like some women, both MILs and DILs, have zero ability for introspection and critical thinking. Family relationships can get very emotional, but I agree that "she hates me for nothing" statement is immature and self-centered.

The question I always ask to myself is: Don't any of these women have sons? Or are they completely incapable of empathy? Seriously, degree of hatred towards MILs on these boards is nothing compared to what I see IRL. As if the fake poster is having a field day!
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2015 13:30     Subject: Re:Anyone have a MIL who hates you for no reason?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but this question is ridiculous.

IF your MIL "hates you" (which you cannot know is true unless sh told you so) than she clearly has her reasons (though they may not be obvious to you.)

Possible reasons why you think your MIL hates you:
1. She has a drastically different communication style that you are no used to
2. She is trying to give you space and not be the "pushy" stereotypical MIL, and is just doing a bad job of it
3. She thinks you hate her.
4. You just don't have a lot in common.
5. She is having a hard time adjusting tot he fact that she is not and never again will be the most important person in her son's life.

Possible reasons she might actually dislike you:
1. You inadvertently or purposefully make her feel excluded from things she would enjoy
2. You make comments about how "weird" or even "wrong" her family is and/or the way she raised her son.
3. You encourage your husband to avoid interactions with her.
4. You keep her away from her son/grandchildren.
5. Your are snobby or bitchy.
6. Your life choices conflict with her belief system.

Your MIL does not "hate you" for "no reason."

Why don't you have a conversation with her?




MIL, is that you? You just proved the entire point of this thread!

And who on earth "keeps their husband away"? You sound absurd. DH is a grown adult, who made his own way, and has a dwindling sense of obligation to you, because he sees your negativity, favoritism, fear of change, self indulgent and self serving ways, cold, bitter, jealous, depressed, anxious self as less and less appealing. I can't imagine why. :sarcasm:




I gave examples of reasons. They may not be good reasons. They may not be justified reasons, but they are REASONS. To think that someone *hates* you for no reason is absurd.
And to the "keeping away" part, I know that on some level I keep him away from his mother. I tell him that he should not go see her as often as she wants him too, and as often as he would if I did not remind him about other obligations. I believe I am in the right, but that doesn't mean that I am not a big part of the reason why she does not see her son as much as she wants to.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2015 12:52     Subject: Anyone have a MIL who hates you for no reason?
Hate's a strong word, but mine don't like me as much as they could, because I'm not Catholic.