Two words - move out!!!

There will be no change until you move out. MOVE OUT!!!

The stepdaughter's infantile behavior sounds like possible molestation too. Kids who are distressed will often regress or fail to progress socially/mentally partly as a defense mechanism, but also because it is comforting to cling to familiar things like a baby bottle.

There is something really weird going on under your nose OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah movi out is happening next month , the post was venting as it seems grandparents think they can do whatever they want.. and need to realize you cant.. parents will remove you from childs life

Don't make it about revenge and control and resentment. Take care of yourself and your responsibilities. Don't them out of the kids' lives.

And start taking responsibility you and your wife.

If you rent and have a separate living space, who has been buying baby bottles for this kid to drink from for the last three years? You and your wife are making poor parenting choices on your own; stop blaming the grandparents.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds beyond what reasonable grandparents would do, I would have moved out long ago. The co-sleeping thing is odd for sure. My relative was molested by her grandfather, and the grandmother knew and covered it up. I would be very suspicious.

Yup. The chocolate milk diet and giving her everything she wants sound like bribes, frankly. Bribes to keep quiet. It is rare in cases of molestation that other relatives aren't complicit. The grandmother here could easily be looking the other way and it seems that both OP and his wife are looking the other way too. Otherwise, how has it taken OP this long to realize this is a fucked up, sick situation and they have to get that child out of those malignant grandparents' reach?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the grandfather is not molesting your step daughter?

Are you really, really sure?

I have a feeling OP is suspicious (which is why he wants to set boundaries), but didn't want to express the horrible thought in words. I'd be suspicious too, though it could just be that grandpa is a control-freak. Either way, get out now.

Any intelligent person would be a fool not to be suspicious. The first thing I thought when I read the OP was that the poor little girl is being molested. OP needs to get her away from that grandfather as soon as possible.

Ditto.

OP, GTFO and set up boundaries NOW. Talk to your wife to make sure you guys are on the same page, boundary-wise. Is SD's father in her life? If so, does he have a relationship with your wife where they have discussed these issues with the grandparents?

If I were you, I would never let SD sleep over there again. I would SEVERELY limit the amount of time that SD sees them (as long as it's ok with DW and SD's father). And definitely do the same with your baby on the way.

Some states have grandparents' rights laws, so if these people are particularly litigious then you should be prepared for crazy. Start documenting everything now, just to be safe. Too bad you can't install some type of alarm on SD's door re: the grandpa sleeping thing (eugh, shudder).

Get out of the house OP.

That is the only solution that makes sense.

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the grandfather is not molesting your step daughter?

Are you really, really sure?

+1

Sorry.

This sounds beyond what reasonable grandparents would do, I would have moved out long ago. The co-sleeping thing is odd for sure. My relative was molested by her grandfather, and the grandmother knew and covered it up. I would be very suspicious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the grandfather is not molesting your step daughter?

Are you really, really sure?

I have a feeling OP is suspicious (which is why he wants to set boundaries), but didn't want to express the horrible thought in words. I'd be suspicious too, though it could just be that grandpa is a control-freak. Either way, get out now.

Any intelligent person would be a fool not to be suspicious. The first thing I thought when I read the OP was that the poor little girl is being molested. OP needs to get her away from that grandfather as soon as possible.

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the grandfather is not molesting your step daughter?

Are you really, really sure?

I have a feeling OP is suspicious (which is why he wants to set boundaries), but didn't want to express the horrible thought in words. I'd be suspicious too, though it could just be that grandpa is a control-freak. Either way, get out now.

This is your fault (and your wife's) for living with them for so long. Apparently these problems have been going on for years. How is bitching going to fix the situation? I think you and your wife should take some parenting classes to prepare yourselves for dealing with your kids once you're on your own. Sounds like you've let a lot of damage be done to stepdaughter. It's not going to be easy to fix, and some professional guidance would be useful.

As for cutting out the grandparents, you may or may not need to. See how things go once they're not the de facto parents.

This problem has been going on for years and yet you chose to move in with them. You are the problem, then. Move out, parent your children, and stop complaining.

You guys created this problem by living with them when it's been clear for years that her parents did not respect any boundaries. This is on you guys even more than the grandparents.

You sound annoying. Step up and be a parent. I doubt you are paying market rate.