Lame

I guess I'm not so focused on the situation with your mother but the fact that this is for your sister. I'm guessing you aren't very close? If you were, I sorta think having to put $500 on a credit card to be there for my little sister would be possible. But you have to do what's best for your family.

If it were me, whether or not I told my mom about the money, if I had to decline, I would tell my sister the whole thing, including mom offering and then forgetting. If not, you run the risk of misunderstanding with sis if she thinks you originally accepted and are now backing out.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't normally ever ask my parents to pay for things for me, and they normally don't offer, so I just feel awkward and uncomfortable about reminding her. But I appreciate the suggestions and will do it indirectly the way you suggested.

I wouldn't remind her of EVERYTHING, just the part about things being too tight for you to make two trips there for festivities. I wouldn't say "hey, you offered to buy my ticket, remember?" If she doesn't offer again, let it go and say you'll have your gift delivered!

I don't get this...this is your mother you are talking about here. Just tell her she had offered to pay and you had excepted and are now wondering if she forgot or doesn't want to or can't pay anymore...then go from there.

If she won't pay let your sister now you can't afford to do two trips at this point, that you are sad about it but can't do anything about it - and that you are looking forward to the wedding.

If you can't even be honest with your closest family members there's really something wrong there...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would understand if this was your boss, but it's your mother. Just ask her if she forgot that she offered to pay. What kind of relationships do you people have with yours parents for crying out loud. They used to wipe your ass!!!

this is exactly what I was going to write. can't you people talk to your own mothers?!?

Guess what - some of us have sucky relationships with our mothers. Be glad it isn't you and enough with the ?!? already.

"Mom, I'm really sad about this, but it just isn't in my budget to buy another ticket."

Maybe she'll remember that she offered to pay. I know money conversations can be so awkward no matter who those talks are with. If she doesn't remember, I wouldn't bring it up. Just send a nice gift and even some flowers that match the décor of the party.

I get how this is awkward. I can see my mom pulling a bait-n-switch like this on me. We don't have a good relationship and I am an only child.

Hope it works out for you.

Tell her you're thinking about not going and see if that brings back her memory when she asks why. I know exactly what you mean.

What kind of formal terms are you and your mother on that this would be awkward?

Just bow and say, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Smith, but I've discovered I have a previous engagement for that date."

Or if you're normal, say, "I'd love to go, but I can't afford to go to both the shower and the wedding, Mom."

My mom makes empty promises like that. If she did not book it, she is not paying. I would just decline due to money and send a gift.

Anonymous wrote:I would understand if this was your boss, but it's your mother. Just ask her if she forgot that she offered to pay. What kind of relationships do you people have with yours parents for crying out loud. They used to wipe your ass!!!

this is exactly what I was going to write. can't you people talk to your own mothers?!?

"Oh, I thought you offered to pay. I can't afford to buy a ticket right now."

Unless you have a terrible relationship with your mother, this is not difficult, OP.

This is your MOM and your SISTER.

If you can't afford it, just say so.

Do you think she plans to give you a check once you buy a ticket?

No, I'm really sure that she just forgot that she had promised.