Should be "your Mom sounds really great."

OP, your moms really great. Of course she wants to help out your brother's child as she wants to help you out too.

Embrace that because you are going to be in a bind and your wonderful mom is going to help you out.

We are about 30 mins to airport. I am a FTM so maybe I don't get this, but there's no way I could quickly just feed, burp, and change the baby. The baby eats on his timeline. It can take him 10 min or 40 mins to finish a bottle. He also wakes up on his timeline. Although we are a 30 min drive I wanted to leave an hour early bc I don't know the way that well and it was dark and raining and I was driving my moms car. Also wanted to make sure I was there on time so she wouldn't be waiting w toddler. As it was, her flight was a little delayed so 30 min drive plus 20 min wait, plus 30 min drive means an hour and 20 min of angry uncomfotanle baby. Again maybe there is something I'm missing here as a FTM but I didn't think taking baby with me was reasonable. Yes I am an "only daughter" and maybe that has something to do with it. But also I was here all week last week and I see how darn old my mom looks and feels. She still works almost full time running her own business. And BIL and SIL, when they visit, like to drink wine and get hungover. Before a night of drinking they'd say to my mom-you're waking up with the baby right?" And then they get wasted. So maybe it's a combination of only daughter competition plus I feel they are truly taking advantage of my moms kind heart. I do work ft at a salary job and have a second income producing revenue business of my own as well. I'm currently on maternity leave for the salary job but working the second job.

Mom & SIL have a relationship.
It's their business. So, MYOB.
Help if you want. Don't help if you will feel, at all, used of resentful.
If you don't want to witness what your SIL is putting your mother through, don't be around. Stay at a hotel. Whatever.

Nanny here- A 2.5 year old is so much more work than a 10 week old who sleeps all day. You are being unreasonable, wait until it's you with the 2.5 year old and no one wants to help you!

You are being a prima donna, OP. You knew that your mother had agreed to watch your nephew all day and you still woke your mother up at 4:30am. There are these new-fangled devices called cell phones. You call your SIL's cell, leave her a message that it's taking you longer than expected to get out of the house and you'll be there 30 minutes after you originally agreed. You'll call her when you enter the airport drive so she can come out to the curb to meet her. Then you sit down, feed your child, burp the child, change the child and put the child in the car seat, then go to the airport.

You are the one responsible for exhausting your mother, not your SIL. Grow up and be a responsible family member. SIL could not change her plans, stay up later, or just be coherent on a 1 hour nap instead of sleeping. You, on the other hand could have been more considerate and mature about the entire thing.

OP, are you an only daughter? You seem like it. You don't like another "daughter-type" moving in on your space...that's what I'm sensing. And maybe mom would have flown out to help them out if you hadn't been there, right? So your SIL works fulltime. Do you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family is gathering this week for Easter. I've been here for a week with DS who is ten weeks. My SIL is coming into town and my mom will be watching her 2.5 year old from 12 to 8 every day while SIL works (working remotely on west coast hours). My SIL took the red eye in from the west coast this am. I got up w baby at 4.30 am and then picked up her and her 2.5 year old son this am at 6. My mom also got up early to feed and change baby when I left for the airport. When we got back from the airport my mom made smoothies and breakfast for everyone. My SIL then went to bed, leaving my mom to watch the 2.5 year old. She's still sleeping. My mom is exhausted and still has 8.5 more hours to go with the 2.5 year old. I can't believe my SIL. I get that she's wiped after flying the red eye with a toddler (who had a meltdown and didn't sleep on the flight) but I feel it's wrong of her to just dump her DS on my elderly mom like this. If I was in her shoes I'd take a one hour nap and a shower, not a 4 hour nap! What say you DCUM?

Why did you make your mom get up early? You should have let her sleep in. You were getting up anyway and the baby could just come along in the car to the airport with you.

Bc I can't feed, burp, and change the baby while driving the car. Come on now. Oh, and she just went back upstairs to take a nap. She's "working" while my mom babysits-she just said "the computer dings when I get an email so I'll hear it."

How far away was the airport that you couldn't feed/burp/change baby, put her in the car, and been fine until you got there?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family is gathering this week for Easter. I've been here for a week with DS who is ten weeks. My SIL is coming into town and my mom will be watching her 2.5 year old from 12 to 8 every day while SIL works (working remotely on west coast hours). My SIL took the red eye in from the west coast this am. I got up w baby at 4.30 am and then picked up her and her 2.5 year old son this am at 6. My mom also got up early to feed and change baby when I left for the airport. When we got back from the airport my mom made smoothies and breakfast for everyone. My SIL then went to bed, leaving my mom to watch the 2.5 year old. She's still sleeping. My mom is exhausted and still has 8.5 more hours to go with the 2.5 year old. I can't believe my SIL. I get that she's wiped after flying the red eye with a toddler (who had a meltdown and didn't sleep on the flight) but I feel it's wrong of her to just dump her DS on my elderly mom like this. If I was in her shoes I'd take a one hour nap and a shower, not a 4 hour nap! What say you DCUM?

Why did you make your mom get up early? You should have let her sleep in. You were getting up anyway and the baby could just come along in the car to the airport with you.

Bc I can't feed, burp, and change the baby while driving the car. Come on now. Oh, and she just went back upstairs to take a nap. She's "working" while my mom babysits-she just said "the computer dings when I get an email so I'll hear it."

reasonable behavior by her, insensitive behavior by you. You shouldn't need your mom's help at all with one ten week old. Please.

Anonymous wrote:Family is gathering this week for Easter. I've been here for a week with DS who is ten weeks. My SIL is coming into town and my mom will be watching her 2.5 year old from 12 to 8 every day while SIL works (working remotely on west coast hours). My SIL took the red eye in from the west coast this am. I got up w baby at 4.30 am and then picked up her and her 2.5 year old son this am at 6. My mom also got up early to feed and change baby when I left for the airport. When we got back from the airport my mom made smoothies and breakfast for everyone. My SIL then went to bed, leaving my mom to watch the 2.5 year old. She's still sleeping. My mom is exhausted and still has 8.5 more hours to go with the 2.5 year old. I can't believe my SIL. I get that she's wiped after flying the red eye with a toddler (who had a meltdown and didn't sleep on the flight) but I feel it's wrong of her to just dump her DS on my elderly mom like this. If I was in her shoes I'd take a one hour nap and a shower, not a 4 hour nap! What say you DCUM?

Why did you make your mom get up early? You should have let her sleep in. You were getting up anyway and the baby could just come along in the car to the airport with you.

Anonymous wrote:Why did your mom get up early to feed and change your kid knowing she had agreed to watch the toddler all day?

My mom helped with the baby bc I had to leave to pick up SIL from the airport! He was midway through eating so I had to give him to my mom. And she's here all week w toddler (instead of coming on the weekend) bc toddler's preschool is closed this week and they don't have childcare. She and my bro initially requested my mom fly to the west coast to watch toddler all week.

Why did your mom get up early to feed and change your kid knowing she had agreed to watch the toddler all day?

OP, I see where you coming from and I'd be hurt for my mom too. However, I think you should not bring this up to either of them as the relationships between MIL and SIL are tricky, and you want peace in the family. Just help your mom when you can.

... or if there's anyone you should fault for being lazy it's your OWN BROTHER. Who gets to enjoy a few days of solitude an a cross-country flight on his own, for what reason? Even if he has a good reason for coming later, it seems that your SIL is really exerting herself to make sure that the toddler gets Grandma time.