Anonymous wrote:OP again...after realizing what she is up against I wonder if I should buy her a bottle of wine, some chocolate and just hire some extra outside help.

This is the approach I took. I've tried to support her in her efforts and have additionally been an available parent (for events and fundraising, etc.). DS gave thank you cards, in Spanish, to the teacher and classroom aide. Instead of written updates, which she didn't have time for after an initial strong showing, I would just arrive early for pick up and get a general idea of his day. He and his sister have a tutor/babysitter who helps reinforce the techniques used in the classroom and has been creative in coming up with his own as well, which I share with the teacher. I made sure to write a letter to the school about her obvious dedication and referenced my own gratitude, acknowledging her responsibilities to the entire class and how well she manages to make every child in her class feel special. I bring snacks. I mean, whatever I can do to help.
FWIW, I do the same for his sister's teachers. She younger and still takes naps. I think they really appreciated the lullaby cd I gave them. I've donated snacks and educational toys. I've volunteered to read special stories to the class, which the kids seemed to enjoy. It also freed the teacher and aide up to catch up on whatever they needed to handle that day.
I admire what they do and how well they manage so many young ones.
I think the most important thing I've done is honor the methods they use in class. We follow it at home, reinforcing the teachers' efforts. I treat us all as a team with shared goals.