Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 17:17     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:I just realized this. Married now and realize this is happening for the third time. When I had long term relationships in the past I thought this is just related to those people. But now and for the last two years I have no sexual interest for DH anymore. Have a very young child so I can't possibly divorce or anything because of my own sexual issue.

Anyone can relate? Maybe marriage is really not my thing.


You want butterflies and newness and that fades. See a therapist to help you figure out what to do.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 17:14     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:Also, overuse of a vibrator reduces the ability to orgasm with a partner, and could lead to additional sexual frustration.


This is stupid. Read some books written by sexual health experts - some women need the intensity of a vibrator to cum
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 15:31     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:Also, overuse of a vibrator reduces the ability to orgasm with a partner, and could lead to additional sexual frustration.


I honestly don't believe this to be true, though I only have my own anecdotal evidence... I taught myself how to orgasm with a vibrator, and for me it made the muscles tighter.

lol at the thought that it would cause more sexual frustration!!
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 15:18     Subject: Re:Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
36 months is the honeymoon phase. Grown ups have to get creative and think bigger picture beyond that--especially when kids are involved.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 14:47     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:Well, marriage wasn't initially about romantic love. It had a lot more to do with property interests and inheritance.


...and raising children.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 14:34     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Also, overuse of a vibrator reduces the ability to orgasm with a partner, and could lead to additional sexual frustration.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 13:51     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:
It is a biologically common phenomenon, that the majority of people experience in a long-term relationship. The question is how do you deal with it?

I'm just content with other aspects of my life, and have no interest in intimacy - although that is heightened by the meds I'm taking.

That.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 13:15     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel. She addresses this issue at length in the book. I heard her interviewed on NPR and she was great.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 13:09     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Mental disease or defect
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 13:01     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Op, time to grow up and put down the Twilight novels. Please figure out the difference between infatuation and sexual chemistry.

It takes effort. Especially with small children around. But you need to try to communicate about what you desire, watch some soft core together etc.

I have been with my DH for over 10 years, married for 7. Have three kids 6, 4 and 2. I jumped him at 5:30 this am right after the alarm went off. Loved sending him to work with a spring in his step.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 12:34     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yet another thread demonstrating why monogamous marriage is a horrible idea


Unfortunately this is soooooooo true. That's why some partners would do better with several long-term relationships instead of a monogamous marriage. It's just human nature for some people to grow bored after a few years. It would avoid a lot of divorces.


An open marriage or swinging is one solution, but it seems that most of the time it winds up being a disaster. So what is the solution? For my marriage, it is all about surprise. Married 15 years and my wife and I try to keep the newness in the relationship by trying new things when least expected. For example, on a Friday I expected to come home and have the kids there. Instead, she sent them to the grandparents for the weekend and was naked in bed waiting for me. Another time, we started with some rope in the house and did things I didn't know where in either one of us.

You gotta the groove by trying....


You have to have a partner who's willing to do that....sigh...
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 12:29     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:I can relate. I don't necessarily lose sexual interest, I just get bored. Like you, when I was younger I thought it was because I was with the wrong person (which I was for some). But now I realize I just crave that "falling in love" feeling. I don't act on it anymore and am happily, though boringly, married.


+1
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 12:29     Subject: Re:Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
The excerpt:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/26/fashion/Sex-Esther-Perel-Couples-Therapy.html?_r=0

The Ted Talk:
http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship

The book:
http://www.amazon.com/Mating-Captivity-Unlocking-Erotic-Intelligence/dp/0060753641/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427473675&sr=8-1&keywords=mating+in+captivity

Similar situation OP. ^ Saved our marriage.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 10:43     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Anonymous wrote:I just realized this. Married now and realize this is happening for the third time. When I had long term relationships in the past I thought this is just related to those people. But now and for the last two years I have no sexual interest for DH anymore. Have a very young child so I can't possibly divorce or anything because of my own sexual issue.

Anyone can relate? Maybe marriage is really not my thing.


OP, what are you doing to fix it? Have you told your husband what you like or want to try? Spiced things up? Took him by surprise? Most men are very eager to make their wives happy in bed but you have to talk!
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2015 10:00     Subject: Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone
Is it DH or your libido in general? Are you still attracted to others but just experience no attraction to DH right now?

You could simply be exhausted from child rearing or not have enough time together as a couple. Could your ILs take the kids for a weekend so that the two of you could go away to work on your relationship?