Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you have $250,000 in cash savings? Pay down the mortgage and refinance.

Why would we do this? We have 3.85% interest rate which is tax deductible. I am earning 2.2% on the CD it is in and it provides us enormous flexibility (like considering to stay home and use it as cushion, hence why we haven't plowed it into stocks or investment property).

If we paid down mortgage and refinanced, we might push down our mortgage to the $2700 I looked at earlier, but that is still unworkable. Being able to paydown the house so we have a $230k mortgage is beyond the means and two bedroom condos in our neighborhood go for $700k (our TH is $850k).

Moving seems like the only way; so for everyone SAH on $100k incomes, you live out in exurbs in sub-$400k houses?

Buying a sub-400k house is what's financially responsible when you have a 100k income. I wouldn't say we live in the exurbs but we do live in Fairfax County, not in city limits or in a nicer part of Arlington.

I get that your wife is stressed out at work, but can't she look for another job or look for a part-time job instead of trying to pay a $2700 or $3700 mortgage on a 100k salary?

She has been looking, but she is very specialized skills. Part-time professional jobs? Have you every tried to find one of those, almost impossible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you have $250,000 in cash savings? Pay down the mortgage and refinance.

Why would we do this? We have 3.85% interest rate which is tax deductible. I am earning 2.2% on the CD it is in and it provides us enormous flexibility (like considering to stay home and use it as cushion, hence why we haven't plowed it into stocks or investment property).

If we paid down mortgage and refinanced, we might push down our mortgage to the $2700 I looked at earlier, but that is still unworkable. Being able to paydown the house so we have a $230k mortgage is beyond the means and two bedroom condos in our neighborhood go for $700k (our TH is $850k).

Moving seems like the only way; so for everyone SAH on $100k incomes, you live out in exurbs in sub-$400k houses?

Buying a sub-400k house is what's financially responsible when you have a 100k income. I wouldn't say we live in the exurbs but we do live in Fairfax County, not in city limits or in a nicer part of Arlington.

I get that your wife is stressed out at work, but can't she look for another job or look for a part-time job instead of trying to pay a $2700 or $3700 mortgage on a 100k salary?

Quick question: the $2700 I am quoting is PITI not just mortgage, but I assume that doesn't change much?

Anonymous wrote:Truing not to move as changing schools and losing community. Also would double commute so that is a loss.

Prob equally as foolish but what about mortgage of $3700 and makeup shortfalls by dipping into savings of $250k (cash not retirement). Plan would be to have SAH parent until kids are in HS; about ten years. Hopefully salary will increase to $130k by 2025, but SAHP could return to work.

Is this foolish? Or prudent use of savings to invest in life we want for kids?

This would be a very foolish thing to do. By the math you've given us, you're looking at being $1,600 short each month, you will have wiped out the majority of your savings. Also, if that cash is what you'd use to pay down your mortgage and get to $2,700 a month, that's equally foolish because you're leaving yourself with no cash cushion if the working spouse loses his/her job. Also, I have to ask if your retirement is fully funded. If not, you're definitely not in any position for lose a salary right now.

Realistically, it doesn't sound like you can afford the "life [you] want for kids"while living in this area. Would you consider moving to a lower COL area?

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand why you are counting the health insurance on this side of net. If you are a fed, it comes out before you ever see your take home pay.

And is your mortgage really $3700 a month? Or is it $2700? You've confused me with your follow up posts.

The cell phone plan seems really high even for 4 lines. But regardless, carrying a mortgage of either $2700 or even worse, $3700 on $104k is just not feasible.

Current mortgage is $3700, we could refinance with cash on hand to $2700 mortgage.

I'm honestly not sure about health insurance b/c currently under wife's plan. Take home is muddied by dual income and split benefits. Guessing on $104k salary, take home will be about 2/3 after taxes, 401k, but health insurance i think has been increasing and separate?

But to re-iterate, question was about other families staying home on $100k range -- how much is mortgage, where do you live, is there anything else in budget out of line?

Cell phone plan is for 5 lines (two smartphones, 3 flip phones), hence so high. Probably could go to cheaper prepaid but this is unlimited att plan so cancelling it is giving up something significant.

I also don't understand why you are counting the health insurance on this side of net. If you are a fed, it comes out before you ever see your take home pay.

And is your mortgage really $3700 a month? Or is it $2700? You've confused me with your follow up posts.

The cell phone plan seems really high even for 4 lines. But regardless, carrying a mortgage of either $2700 or even worse, $3700 on $104k is just not feasible.

What about the cost of summer camps or pool membership or activities during those 3 months?

If your wife is going to be home with the kids all summer each year, what are they going to do that costs nothing? That is something else to consider.

My husband has similar income and our mortgage is about $2300. I don't think I could stay home - but maybe I could go part time. One income would be hard long term - though we also have a big cash backlog.

Question - isn't that health insurance coming out of his check pre-tax, so the take home number you mention shouldn't have the health money coming out of it. Also why isn't the $500 a month for the chronic health issue coming out of a pre tax FSA?

Can your wife drop to 3 days per week?

If your budget is that tight it makes zero sense to have one earner in an empty house from 9-3 each day while the kids are in school. Plus she'll likely get bored stiff. There is only so much house work she can do and she won't have money to run to Target or go out to lunch with friends, etc.
I would lose my mind in about 6 months (been there, done that).
Working part time might be the ideal solution. She'll have a few days a week to run errands, clean the house, and she can do the after-school pick up these days and get the benefits of being a SAH mom.

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you have $250,000 in cash savings? Pay down the mortgage and refinance.

Why would we do this? We have 3.85% interest rate which is tax deductible. I am earning 2.2% on the CD it is in and it provides us enormous flexibility (like considering to stay home and use it as cushion, hence why we haven't plowed it into stocks or investment property).

If we paid down mortgage and refinanced, we might push down our mortgage to the $2700 I looked at earlier, but that is still unworkable. Being able to paydown the house so we have a $230k mortgage is beyond the means and two bedroom condos in our neighborhood go for $700k (our TH is $850k).

Moving seems like the only way; so for everyone SAH on $100k incomes, you live out in exurbs in sub-$400k houses?

Wait, you have $250,000 in cash savings? Pay down the mortgage and refinance.

So you can stay home and then have nothing saved for college? It is just too much mortgage for your income. Maybe move to a condo or townhouse if you want to stay in the neighborhood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mortgage is way high for that income level. That's the big one. I realize there's nothing you can do about that but it's still REALLY high. You can get a TH further away but still in Fairfax or Montgomery County for much cheaper - under 400 in places like Springfield/West Springfield and Burke.

You're going to have to cut back on vacations, cut down on grocery spending, give up kids' sports and cut back on the clothes/gifts category. I also wanted to ask who's health insurance you're paying for $400/month? Isn't it taken out of your H's pay? Anyway, at that point where I'm giving up on the stuff that makes life fun and enjoyable like travel and enrichment for my kids, I'd question whether staying home is really worth it.

This...are you in a life changing situation like the other OP who had a special needs child or is this just a desire? If its the latter I would encourage you to keep working as you would really be putting your family at financial risk. Now obviously if you are ill or have to take care of aging parents or your children have special needs thats a different situation.

I am DH. My wife is really stressed out at her job and wants to have more time to spend with kids and basically make life more sane.

I see no easy way to increase my income without substantial riskier position and longer hours (which I don't mind but not sure if that makes our life more sane). So, trying to work with what we have.

This is a long tail risk since we have financial cushion to get through prob about a decade at home, but would rather live within means.

Truing not to move as changing schools and losing community. Also would double commute so that is a loss.

Prob equally as foolish but what about mortgage of $3700 and makeup shortfalls by dipping into savings of $250k (cash not retirement). Plan would be to have SAH parent until kids are in HS; about ten years. Hopefully salary will increase to $130k by 2025, but SAHP could return to work.

Is this foolish? Or prudent use of savings to invest in life we want for kids?

Your mortgage is way too high. You should sell the house and move to a cheaper one.