Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would drive me crazy. DH and I met as active people who value healthy living. Don't think I could have married those habits in the first place. Nothing better than taking an hour run together and completely focusing on an undistracted conversation. Something about exercising and talking leads to the most productive, clear, and respectful communication.

I feel Most bad for your children of you have them. Old age won't be good to him.

Ah, but at least their parents aren't insufferably smug. That would make old age really tough.

Ditto.l. PP you sound like an annoying ahole. And I'm a health nut!

OP do you have children?

Anonymous wrote:You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

For most people, eating right will have far more than a MARGINAL impact on your health. All of the latest research is pointing to chronic inflammation as a major trigger of many illnesses and diseases, and diet is the most significant influence on inflammation. I think, for example, that sugar will be the new tobacco/cigarettes.

Anonymous wrote:I've never seen a man eat junk food while getting a blow job. Just some food for thought.

Begging the question, how often do you watch men getting a BJ when you are not a participant? I would love to watch a man getting a BJ while consuming a Big Mac meal!

I've never seen a man eat junk food while getting a blow job. Just some food for thought.

Anonymous wrote:You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

+1000. People who are all hung up/obsessive about eating purely/healthfully need to get a grip. Odds are, you won't live any longer than anyone (non-alcoholic/addict) else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're probably driving him crazy too. If you don't stop you'll drive him right out of your life. I'm pretty sure he's aware of what he's doing.

If this were a man posting about his wife's eating habits there would be replies screaming CONTROL !! He's controlling your life !

Same thing. If that's the only thing your husband does wrong, count your blessings.

OP here - I realize this. It's not my choice, he's not my child etc. The reason it bothers me is that in the longer run I'll have to deal with a sick etc husband (we're in my 30s now but it always catches up to you eventually)....but I realize my nagging is not helpful and is probably harmful. And my being annoyed by it annoys me so I want to stop

So my main question is how do I stop caring. Whatever it is that used to bother you about your spouse, has anyone successfully been able to figure out a way to just decide to stop the cycle of caring about it / being annoyed with them etc

OP again, I guess to be abundantly my question is not how do I change HIM but how do I change ME. Regardless of the issue

OP, do you have anxiety issues? Getting this upset about something that's having no evident current impact, and all of the impact is in some future hypothetical that may not even come to pass (he might change his ways once his healthy is impacted, or might be one of those lucky people who never see negative impact from these choices) kind of screams anxiety disorder.

OP I finally decided that it was fruitless for me to worry about things I cannot change, but that didn't make me feel better. So, I had to decide what I could control.

I could make sure that his life and disability insurance was current as that was something I could control.

I made sure to be a loving spouse while I was still with him because I do love him.

And, I decided I can't think about the eventuality that I'll have care for him because it could be the reverse, and there's no sense ruining my OWN health by stressing about this.

This helped me to tone it down to virtually no comments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're probably driving him crazy too. If you don't stop you'll drive him right out of your life. I'm pretty sure he's aware of what he's doing.

If this were a man posting about his wife's eating habits there would be replies screaming CONTROL !! He's controlling your life !

Same thing. If that's the only thing your husband does wrong, count your blessings.

OP here - I realize this. It's not my choice, he's not my child etc. The reason it bothers me is that in the longer run I'll have to deal with a sick etc husband (we're in my 30s now but it always catches up to you eventually)....but I realize my nagging is not helpful and is probably harmful. And my being annoyed by it annoys me so I want to stop

So my main question is how do I stop caring. Whatever it is that used to bother you about your spouse, has anyone successfully been able to figure out a way to just decide to stop the cycle of caring about it / being annoyed with them etc

guess to be abundantly my question is not how do I change HIM but how do I change ME. Regardless of the issue

OP, I go through cycles. The issue for me is that my DH is overweight and takes meds for blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar. He thinks it's ok to eat like crap because his numbers are controlled by meds. He doesn't drink soda or eat candy--he just has no clue about portion sizes and eats out every day for lunch.

I made him promise that he'd change his habits once we had a child but it hasn't really worked. His habits are just so ingrained. He did lose about 30 pounds rather easily about a year ago by fixing his eating habits but he reverted back and regained the weight.

I'm finally aware that I can't change him and it is of the utmost importance to me to be in control of what I can be in control of in regard to my health. But it's just not to him.

So I control the things I can. We have long term care insurance and he has a large life insurance policy. I have full access to all of our accounts in case something happens to him.

Although I still don't understand how our family isn't worth enough to him to change his habits, it apparently makes sense to him. So I just hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

You cannot change anyone but yourself and once you acceot this, you will be much happier.

You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're probably driving him crazy too. If you don't stop you'll drive him right out of your life. I'm pretty sure he's aware of what he's doing.

If this were a man posting about his wife's eating habits there would be replies screaming CONTROL !! He's controlling your life !

Same thing. If that's the only thing your husband does wrong, count your blessings.

OP here - I realize this. It's not my choice, he's not my child etc. The reason it bothers me is that in the longer run I'll have to deal with a sick etc husband (we're in my 30s now but it always catches up to you eventually)....but I realize my nagging is not helpful and is probably harmful. And my being annoyed by it annoys me so I want to stop

So my main question is how do I stop caring. Whatever it is that used to bother you about your spouse, has anyone successfully been able to figure out a way to just decide to stop the cycle of caring about it / being annoyed with them etc

OP again, I guess to be abundantly my question is not how do I change HIM but how do I change ME. Regardless of the issue

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would drive me crazy. DH and I met as active people who value healthy living. Don't think I could have married those habits in the first place. Nothing better than taking an hour run together and completely focusing on an undistracted conversation. Something about exercising and talking leads to the most productive, clear, and respectful communication.

I feel Most bad for your children of you have them. Old age won't be good to him.

Ah, but at least their parents aren't insufferably smug. That would make old age really tough.

No doubt.

And the "active" poster and her DH will live FOREVER AND EVER and keep TALKING AND TALKING.

Anonymous wrote:If he isn't overweight and his doctor says he is healthy, what exactly is the problem? Does he have trouble keeping up with your kids because he is out of shape? Do you want to do more active things together like hiking but he gets out of breath too easily? Are his eating habits setting a bad example for the kids? Maybe if you focus on what specifically you want you can present that as the problem instead of just general distaste for his diet and lack of working out.

I hate vegetables and don't work out at all. I am doing fine and I would not be happy if my husband nagged me to make different choices. I am a grown up an don't have to eat salad for lunch if I don't want. I am sure I will gain weight as my metabolism slows down, and then I will have to make some changes.

You must be very young. Staying thin is far from the only reason to eat healthy foods.

Anonymous wrote:You're probably driving him crazy too. If you don't stop you'll drive him right out of your life. I'm pretty sure he's aware of what he's doing.

If this were a man posting about his wife's eating habits there would be replies screaming CONTROL !! He's controlling your life !

Same thing. If that's the only thing your husband does wrong, count your blessings.

OP here - I realize this. It's not my choice, he's not my child etc. The reason it bothers me is that in the longer run I'll have to deal with a sick etc husband (we're in my 30s now but it always catches up to you eventually)....but I realize my nagging is not helpful and is probably harmful. And my being annoyed by it annoys me so I want to stop

So my main question is how do I stop caring. Whatever it is that used to bother you about your spouse, has anyone successfully been able to figure out a way to just decide to stop the cycle of caring about it / being annoyed with them etc