Excellent responses. I need to do a gut check and ensure that I am not just trying to protect my snowflakes from anything thay would cause them to struggle.

Also, I never considered that HS is supposed to be more challenging than college.

College is for making connections and networking for grad school then?

No, not in USC.

Anonymous wrote:How hard should a HS kid work? 3 to 4 hours of homework? Is that necessary or normal? That is our reality right now and I feel like my son is missing family time.

Make sure your son has good study habits and takes a break every 50 minutes to maximize memory/learning. Also make sure he isn;t goofing off up there and checking social media, games, etc. Have him tackle his most difficult assignment first and better organize his time.

Chances are if he had more time he would be devoting it to "family time" anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing in academia guarantees happiness or success beyond academia. So that question is moot.


As to the question of a rigorous academic high school necessary for success in college -- yeah, pretty much. The better the high school the better prepared the kid is for college. Doesn't mean it is a guarantee but it is a safe bet. And we are not talking about mere acceptance into college - we are talking about succeeding and handling the work load of college. Lots of kids get into top schools only to struggle because they were not prepared by their high school.

This. Well said.

Anonymous wrote:A part of me believes that if they are excellent im the basics, reading, writing and math. They will be fine.

+1
We're zoned for an excellent (academically rigorous) high school and I've actually been thinking about moving to an area with very average schools. There is something appealing about having your kids just learn the basics and then have much more of a life outside of school. My husband doesn't agree and thinks we should send them to the rigorous high school, but I have one child who I think will just be swallowed alive at this school. I'd kind of like for her to just have a more laid-back high school experience where she won't be completely bogged down and stressed out.

I'm definitely an anti-Tiger Mom too.

Nothing in academia guarantees happiness or success beyond academia. So that question is moot.


As to the question of a rigorous academic high school necessary for success in college -- yeah, pretty much. The better the high school the better prepared the kid is for college. Doesn't mean it is a guarantee but it is a safe bet. And we are not talking about mere acceptance into college - we are talking about succeeding and handling the work load of college. Lots of kids get into top schools only to struggle because they were not prepared by their high school.

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a certain level of rigor in the basics ...reading, writing, and arithmetic, that can make life really easy or really hard for an incoming college freshman. For certain majors you probably want to come in with the higher level high school classes. On the other hand I don't think my kids need to take 10 AP classes in high school either. I want to see that they know how to study and organize their time, they have been really challenged (had to work hard for the grade) in atleast one or two classes a year, and have gone in-depth in one area, like a research project/thesis or internship by senior year.

Personally I think it is about knowing how to go about doing certain things and having the confidence to know you can handle it rather than having done it to the 100th degree. For example, I got fairly good grades in high school and went to a top college. However, I had terrible study habits. I also never really had to work hard in my high school classes so until I had that college class that kicked my butt but I got an A in the end, I didn't know I had it in me. I also never had to be intellectually curious or take the initiative in my coursework in high school and I think that kept me from really taking advantage of everything college offered. I don't want my kids to burnout but I want them to feel like college is easier than high school and that they are prepared to take advantage, academically speaking, of what their college offers.

ITA. I went to a very rigorous high school and spent a lot of time learning efficient study habits and working hard. It was okay though because the variety of opportunities outside of regular required coursework paled in comparison to what I saw at college. Once I entered college, I was able to study less but still get top grades because I knew how to study. That meant far more time engaged in activities, socializing, etc. I'd rather have that fun in college than in high school.

Anonymous wrote:I went to a fairly mediocre high school (no AP classes offered; reading lists were a joke), then went on to an Ivy League school, finished my Ph.D., and have a job in my field at an elite institution.

I don't recommend that people send their kids to mediocre high schools in general, and I do wish I would have had more rigor in my high school, especially a more thorough coverage of literature, but the 4 years you spend in high school aren't going to make or break your life. Especially if you have a choice between excellent and even more excellent as your kids do.

were you parents educated?

OP, are you in USC?

I went to a shit high school that I barely graduated from. Then community college which took me five years. I'm successful and happy and love informal learning.

I went to a fairly mediocre high school (no AP classes offered; reading lists were a joke), then went on to an Ivy League school, finished my Ph.D., and have a job in my field at an elite institution.

I don't recommend that people send their kids to mediocre high schools in general, and I do wish I would have had more rigor in my high school, especially a more thorough coverage of literature, but the 4 years you spend in high school aren't going to make or break your life. Especially if you have a choice between excellent and even more excellent as your kids do.

Well, you might start by defining "rigorous."

Because a kid sure can be given a lot of hard work to do that isn't necessarily adding much value to their education -- but the key is to expect and practice practice practice critical thinking, writing, and problem solving (math and other forms). Oh, and speaking. Kids need to be constantly talking about what they're learning, what they know, and what they're sill unsure of and learning about.

These skills will take you very far.

Taking two or three AP classes sounds like a good thing to shoot for your senior year. Kids can do it, they absolutely can. Don't be afraid of getting a "C" either. Just take the damn class.

HS is about learning skills that set you up to be successful in college. Rigor ( AP and Honors) is about staying competitive in the eyes of college admissions.

I think there is a certain level of rigor in the basics ...reading, writing, and arithmetic, that can make life really easy or really hard for an incoming college freshman. For certain majors you probably want to come in with the higher level high school classes. On the other hand I don't think my kids need to take 10 AP classes in high school either. I want to see that they know how to study and organize their time, they have been really challenged (had to work hard for the grade) in atleast one or two classes a year, and have gone in-depth in one area, like a research project/thesis or internship by senior year.

Personally I think it is about knowing how to go about doing certain things and having the confidence to know you can handle it rather than having done it to the 100th degree. For example, I got fairly good grades in high school and went to a top college. However, I had terrible study habits. I also never really had to work hard in my high school classes so until I had that college class that kicked my butt but I got an A in the end, I didn't know I had it in me. I also never had to be intellectually curious or take the initiative in my coursework in high school and I think that kept me from really taking advantage of everything college offered. I don't want my kids to burnout but I want them to feel like college is easier than high school and that they are prepared to take advantage, academically speaking, of what their college offers.

How hard should a HS kid work? 3 to 4 hours of homework? Is that necessary or normal? That is our reality right now and I feel like my son is missing family time.