Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are members of an ethnic minority and I regard teachers who refuse to pronounce/learn my child's name as engaging in a form of micro-aggression. Here's an interesting article to read:
https://www.academia.edu/192884/Kohli_R._and_Sol%C3%B3rzano_D._2012_Teachers_please_learn_our_names_Racial_Microagressions_and_the_K-12_Classroom._Race_Ethnicity_and_Education

I get this, but at the same time, I have seen this happen with names commonly found in the US. Not only Carolyn/Caroline as above, but Laura/Lauren, John/Jon, Joanne/Joanna, and lots of other examples. My relative named Laura is constantly being called Lauren. I think some people just aren't very good at remembering names.

That is different and closer to the OP's original example of Christian/Christopher. In your example, they are similar but different names. In the actual case, OP's problem is that of homophones, names that are spelled differently but said the same.

Closer examples of the similar would be Catherine/Katherine, Brian/Bryan, John/Jon, Sean/Shawn, Bobbie/Bobby, Caryn/Karen, Madeline/Madelyn.

OP--if you were staying, I might choose to make an issue of this, but since you are already planning on leaving, I would drop it. I tend to like to leave places on better standings. For instance, despite some minor issues, we left our last daycare in good standings without mentioning some of the minor peeves that bothered us. And now, our preschool is having Spring Break the week after we get back from vacation and neither of us can afford an extra day to stay home with the kids, so we contacted the daycare and because we've been there before, they will take the kids for 3 days of drop-in care when we get back from vacation. And they're happy to have us because we left on good terms. I try to pick and choose my battles and this would be one that I would not choose, personally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are members of an ethnic minority and I regard teachers who refuse to pronounce/learn my child's name as engaging in a form of micro-aggression. Here's an interesting article to read:
https://www.academia.edu/192884/Kohli_R._and_Sol%C3%B3rzano_D._2012_Teachers_please_learn_our_names_Racial_Microagressions_and_the_K-12_Classroom._Race_Ethnicity_and_Education

I've got a last name literally no one has ever pronounced right on the first try, and most people don't ever pronounce right. My biracial kids have non-American, unusual names and even close friends sometimes say them wrong. DH's name is so impossible to pronounce that he goes by a completely different name in America.

It's not a microaggression. It's people trying to do their best with something linguistically unfamiliar. The more we encourage people to become familiar with our ethnic names, the better they will do. Attacking people who mistakenly say our names wrong will just make them defensive and make them dislike foreign-sounding names. I prefer to live with a more generous spirit and assume they mean well and are trying.

And don't forget: native English speakers can't hear or distinguish some sounds at all. That's some of the problem right there, and being angry about it doesn't rewire others' brains or make them neurologically able to hear/reproduce those sounds!

As a teacher, I consider myself to be in a different situation than a random stranger. If I'm expecting your child to come into my classroom and learn and use 100's of new words, the least I can do to reciprocate is to get their name right. Now, if I'm making a good faith effort and I can't roll the R in the right way or something that's different. Most people appreciate the effort. I had a kid I worked with once for a week who was named "Sian" (with a circumflex over the i). She and I had several conversations that went approximately like this (to my ear)

Sian: You're saying my name wrong. It's Shawn.

Me: Shawn. Shawn. Is that right?

Sian: No, Shawn's a boy's name. My name's Shawn.

Me: Shawn

Sian: No, that's an Irish name. My name is the Welsh name Shawn. . .

I just couldn't hear it, but at least she knew I was trying.

In contrast, there was the year I student taught and we got a new Kindergartener named Joao Paolo (with a tilde above the first a), and the lead teacher essentially said "I can't learn to pronounce that!" and wrote John Paul on everything. This was before the kid walked in the door. To me that's a perfect example of a micro aggression.

I would absolutely mention it. Not worth causing a huge fuss, but the next time you pick her up, just mention to the teacher that you saw the Carolyn/Caroline on the artwork and just wanted to confirm that she is Caroline in case there was confusion. I would be annoyed especially if they are actually calling her the wrong name.

I am pretty surprised that people pronounce the names the same way. Lyn vs line seems very clear to me. Caroline is on our girl name list, so I'm glad I know now!

My last name is Polish. No one even tries, or worries about whether they are micro-aggressing me. *sad face*

You say you are leaving this school anyway, why invest energy in getting annoyed over this?

Thanks everyone. Not trying to turn this into a race issue here as it most definitely is not one in this circumstance - the teachers at the school are not "diverse" in any way and neither is my family. So I don't think that's the cause.

In my mind, when someone looks directly at you or your child and says "I'm not even going to try and pronounce that," it's the equivalent of telling that individual that they don't matter. Far better to say, "Hey, I'm having a little trouble with the pronunciation of your name. Can you teach me how to say it/help me say it correctly?"
Signed, a professor at a school with a lot of African students.

Anonymous wrote:We are members of an ethnic minority and I regard teachers who refuse to pronounce/learn my child's name as engaging in a form of micro-aggression. Here's an interesting article to read:
https://www.academia.edu/192884/Kohli_R._and_Sol%C3%B3rzano_D._2012_Teachers_please_learn_our_names_Racial_Microagressions_and_the_K-12_Classroom._Race_Ethnicity_and_Education

I get this, but at the same time, I have seen this happen with names commonly found in the US. Not only Carolyn/Caroline as above, but Laura/Lauren, John/Jon, Joanne/Joanna, and lots of other examples. My relative named Laura is constantly being called Lauren. I think some people just aren't very good at remembering names.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are members of an ethnic minority and I regard teachers who refuse to pronounce/learn my child's name as engaging in a form of micro-aggression. Here's an interesting article to read:
https://www.academia.edu/192884/Kohli_R._and_Sol%C3%B3rzano_D._2012_Teachers_please_learn_our_names_Racial_Microagressions_and_the_K-12_Classroom._Race_Ethnicity_and_Education

I've got a last name literally no one has ever pronounced right on the first try, and most people don't ever pronounce right. My biracial kids have non-American, unusual names and even close friends sometimes say them wrong. DH's name is so impossible to pronounce that he goes by a completely different name in America.

It's not a microaggression. It's people trying to do their best with something linguistically unfamiliar. The more we encourage people to become familiar with our ethnic names, the better they will do. Attacking people who mistakenly say our names wrong will just make them defensive and make them dislike foreign-sounding names. I prefer to live with a more generous spirit and assume they mean well and are trying.

And don't forget: native English speakers can't hear or distinguish some sounds at all. That's some of the problem right there, and being angry about it doesn't rewire others' brains or make them neurologically able to hear/reproduce those sounds!

I think both of you paint too broad a brush. Sometimes it IS microaggression and sometimes not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, maybe I gave a bad example because the example is more different than reality (I was having trouble!). The names are Caroline and Carolyn. My daughter's name is Caroline and her work often comes home with Carolyn or Carol(ine written over yn). And then this latest one was Carolyn/Caroline. Would you still say something?

Btw, there are 10 kids in the class. You would THINK someone would ask the office?? I'm just so confused.

My daughter has a name like that, get used to it. My name is Michelle (think one l or two ls) I still have close friends who misspell it.

Get over it, it will happen all her life.

But this isn't a spelling issue (although when you are teaching kids to spell their names, as someone mentioned above, that too is a problem) - it's the wrong name. It has a different pronunciation. I also have a name like yours that can be spelled with one or two ls, and that is really not the same situation here.

And, as I said my daughter also has a name like the Caroline/Carolyn deal. It's still not the wrong name and presumably the OP would know if they were calling her child the wrong name after several months. Or not.

My daughter has artwork with her named misspelled, but I don't make a big deal about. Soon carol-whatever will be writing her own name and OP won't give a rats ass about this.

Anonymous wrote:We are members of an ethnic minority and I regard teachers who refuse to pronounce/learn my child's name as engaging in a form of micro-aggression. Here's an interesting article to read:
https://www.academia.edu/192884/Kohli_R._and_Sol%C3%B3rzano_D._2012_Teachers_please_learn_our_names_Racial_Microagressions_and_the_K-12_Classroom._Race_Ethnicity_and_Education

I've got a last name literally no one has ever pronounced right on the first try, and most people don't ever pronounce right. My biracial kids have non-American, unusual names and even close friends sometimes say them wrong. DH's name is so impossible to pronounce that he goes by a completely different name in America.

It's not a microaggression. It's people trying to do their best with something linguistically unfamiliar. The more we encourage people to become familiar with our ethnic names, the better they will do. Attacking people who mistakenly say our names wrong will just make them defensive and make them dislike foreign-sounding names. I prefer to live with a more generous spirit and assume they mean well and are trying.

And don't forget: native English speakers can't hear or distinguish some sounds at all. That's some of the problem right there, and being angry about it doesn't rewire others' brains or make them neurologically able to hear/reproduce those sounds!

Anonymous wrote:I'm usually pretty lax with name stuff but this would bug me. The christian/christopher is like writing "I do not know this child's name...maybe something with a C?....but I do not care to find out".

This was me. Now that I know we are talking about a misspelling, I'm back to being lax. I don't think that's such a big deal. A little annoying, but not nearly like the examples you originally posted (2 actually different names).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, maybe I gave a bad example because the example is more different than reality (I was having trouble!). The names are Caroline and Carolyn. My daughter's name is Caroline and her work often comes home with Carolyn or Carol(ine written over yn). And then this latest one was Carolyn/Caroline. Would you still say something?

Btw, there are 10 kids in the class. You would THINK someone would ask the office?? I'm just so confused.

My daughter has a name like that, get used to it. My name is Michelle (think one l or two ls) I still have close friends who misspell it.

Get over it, it will happen all her life.

But this isn't a spelling issue (although when you are teaching kids to spell their names, as someone mentioned above, that too is a problem) - it's the wrong name. It has a different pronunciation. I also have a name like yours that can be spelled with one or two ls, and that is really not the same situation here.

NP here. I would totally pronounce Carolyn and Caroline the same way ("CARE-uh-lin") unless someone said the name in front of me and it was obviously "Care-oh-LINE." I know Carolyns/Carolines who pronounce their name the same as each other.

Not excusing the preschool, though, that is effed up. Presumably they know your daughter's name and its spelling. My DD has a very unusual name and I don't think a teacher has ever spelled or pronounced it wrong!

We are members of an ethnic minority and I regard teachers who refuse to pronounce/learn my child's name as engaging in a form of micro-aggression. Here's an interesting article to read:
https://www.academia.edu/192884/Kohli_R._and_Sol%C3%B3rzano_D._2012_Teachers_please_learn_our_names_Racial_Microagressions_and_the_K-12_Classroom._Race_Ethnicity_and_Education

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, maybe I gave a bad example because the example is more different than reality (I was having trouble!). The names are Caroline and Carolyn. My daughter's name is Caroline and her work often comes home with Carolyn or Carol(ine written over yn). And then this latest one was Carolyn/Caroline. Would you still say something?

Btw, there are 10 kids in the class. You would THINK someone would ask the office?? I'm just so confused.

My daughter has a name like that, get used to it. My name is Michelle (think one l or two ls) I still have close friends who misspell it.

Get over it, it will happen all her life.

But this isn't a spelling issue (although when you are teaching kids to spell their names, as someone mentioned above, that too is a problem) - it's the wrong name. It has a different pronunciation. I also have a name like yours that can be spelled with one or two ls, and that is really not the same situation here.

No, a spelling variation is just a spelling variation. Carolyn and Caroline can be pronounced differently or identically. I have also had people pronounce my name differently depending upon their accent, as well, so even that would not be too terrible for me, either.