Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow, lots of input!
I'm trying to get DH to take it easy. She's 6!! And she's not going to be a professional athlete. She passed up one sport this spring in favor of trying something new. DH didn't love that and wanted her to cram everything in, but I said no. I think that 17:37 really summed up my attitude well -- praise the effort and focus, not the result. I think I can get him to concentrate on that pretty easily. I also think that it is important that she have fun and enjoy what she's doing.
To the poster who said to emphasize the team aspect of things, you're spot on! It is a little hard to do when she's playing with kids who are afraid to catch the ball or just hang out an pick grass. And the habit of not keeping score for the TEAM in rec soccer or basketball does lead a child to keep track of her own points. We figured that out with soccer and managed to change the focus during basketball a bit -- nice pass to lily! or good catch when Kate threw you a pass. It did distract her from counting her own baskets, at least.
I'm sure a lot of this will even out with maturation. I've always loved sports and find them a fun, worthwhile outlet in their own right. So I'll support her if she wants to practice or play more (within reason), but I'm not going to force her beyond her interests at all.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Coached 10 years of Pop Warner and the studs changed from year to year. Growth spurts and other advancements not the same from boy to boy.
Nevertheless, I heard parents saying (that boy is going to play on Sunday [referring the the NFL]) more times than I care to count.
None of the boys that I coached are playing college ball (that I know of)
You must have been a horrible coach if none of those super talented kids never realized their full potential under your guidance.
You must be a spiteful troll b/c many fewer kids play college ball than in Pop Warner. Some actually focus on their education.
Anonymous wrote:Clearly your DD is interested in the various sports, attentive enough to pick up the rules, and focused enough to follow through on multiple rounds of play. That all counts for a lot at that age, and for many years to come. Just like it does for "academics" in elementary school, by the way. Strong Interest + Strong Attention Span + Focused Follow Through will get kids very, very far in the early years, regardless of their actual talent.
My advice is to focus on observing and praising those things above. When DD or DH or anyone else talks about how "good" she is at a sport, it's easy enough to answer, "She really enjoys it," or even better, "Yeah, she really likes it and has been practicing a lot."
The message is that it's not all about talent or giftedness. It's about practice (and attentiveness and focus), which leads to good results. Down the line in middle school or high school, will lots of practice and focus compensate if she turns out not to have decent athletic skills? Probably not. But in the meantime, she'll internalize the lesson that she has a lot of control over her performance, both on the field and off.
And of course, you really need to rein in your DH. It's exciting to see our kids doing something well, but he needs to control himself and his expectations before this becomes about HIM instead of your DD. The future will be what it will be. In the meantime, she's having fun and learning a lot. That's great, and it should be more than enough for DH.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Coached 10 years of Pop Warner and the studs changed from year to year. Growth spurts and other advancements not the same from boy to boy.
Nevertheless, I heard parents saying (that boy is going to play on Sunday [referring the the NFL]) more times than I care to count.
None of the boys that I coached are playing college ball (that I know of)
You must have been a horrible coach if none of those super talented kids never realized their full potential under your guidance.
Ha! My darling daughter's in 2nd grade, and if I throw something at her she just lets it hit her and grumpily exhorts, "Ow." ZERO early sports talents that I can discern.Anonymous wrote:I think in kindergarten. I threw something at her and she caught it.
She sure is great in many other ways, though.
Anonymous wrote:DD is in kindergarten. She plays soccer, basketball and tennis and seems to play them well. In soccer, she typically scored 4 or 5 goals per game. (No goalies!) She's small, but could score 5 or 6 times in a basketball game. No problem stripping someone of the ball and dribbling it away. She just seems to understand the games better than other kids do at this age. In both sports, she just steals the ball, dribbles it down the court and shoots. She doesn't understand why nobody chases her and tries to get the ball back! (When one basketball player did, DD was surprised once and anticipated it the next time.)
Is this just a case of having an aggressive, driven kid or is this what your athletic child looked like at this age? DH is very excited that she's got some athletic abilities. While I'm happy to have her running around enjoying team sports, I'm expecting everyone else to catch up pretty quickly once they realize how the games are played. I'm also trying to manage DD's expectations -- she counted her goals from the fall soccer season and is fully expecting to score another 17 goals this spring; I don't want her to get discouraged if she doesn't manage to do that.
FWIW, I'm relatively athletic and DH has two left feet. Our older son can hold his own in a few sports -- and watching his sister's focus playing soccer actually helped him improve game a good bit last fall.
Anonymous wrote:Coached 10 years of Pop Warner and the studs changed from year to year. Growth spurts and other advancements not the same from boy to boy.
Nevertheless, I heard parents saying (that boy is going to play on Sunday [referring the the NFL]) more times than I care to count.
None of the boys that I coached are playing college ball (that I know of)
