I'm an elementary music teacher. I had a girl who was really talented, but was constantly talking. After weeks of this, I overheard her standing up to someone making fun of her. I heard what he said (it was an insult about her appearance). I began a discussion with the class about kindness, etc. and kids made me realize this girl had really been being bullied. After some discussion, I told them that if I ever heard any of that kind of talk in my room, or heard of it happening elsewhere, there would be consequences. For the rest of the year, I made sure to build her up when I had a chance. She was overweight, and was not always dressed appropriately, which I think was how it started. I let her teacher and counselor know as well. She came to me the next class and thanked me for standing up for her. It was hard not to cry.

Most of the teachers I know really would want to help if they were aware. Sometimes kids are afraid to tell.

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you to the teachers who said to bring it up to the teacher. I may do that. I was hoping to have my son handle it on his own, but it seems he may need me to speak up for him.

OP, teachers come in all types. Please try to be very tactful and enlist her help. Don't make her feels like she's not paying attention. signed teacher.

Oh of course not! I know the teachers are very busy with huge classes. There are more than 25 in my childs class. Ds told me these kids are very sneaky about there behavior. They wait for opportunities when the teacher is focused on anything other than them, and that's when they do it. I don't blame the teacher and will make sure that is clear to her when I bring it up.

Thank you to the teachers who said to bring it up to the teacher. I may do that. I was hoping to have my son handle it on his own, but it seems he may need me to speak up for him.

OP, teachers come in all types. Please try to be very tactful and enlist her help. Don't make her feels like she's not paying attention. signed teacher.

Anonymous wrote:Find out who that mean kid is and confront him. Tell him if he's gonna pick on your kid ever again, you're gonna beat his crap out.

As parents, I'm sure we all feel that way lol.

Thank you to the teachers who said to bring it up to the teacher. I may do that. I was hoping to have my son handle it on his own, but it seems he may need me to speak up for him.

Anonymous wrote:Are they picking on him b/c of any particular reason? His size, socio-economic background, academic achievement, race, for example?

Not that I'm aware of. He doesn't tell me what's being said, these kids don't seem to do the teasing loud enough for anyone to hear, it's more subtle, but very much in my son's face.

Anonymous wrote:

The one thing I should have done is personally contacted the mean kid's parents.

OP, PP means well, but I really wouldn't do this. Some adults are bullies, too.

+1. It could be worse. They could get upset.

Find out who that mean kid is and confront him. Tell him if he's gonna pick on your kid ever again, you're gonna beat his crap out.

Are they picking on him b/c of any particular reason? His size, socio-economic background, academic achievement, race, for example?

As a teacher, I would want to know if a kid was unhappy about something. That doesn't mean she can solve the problem, but she could, perhaps, make it better. Like I said, I would separate those kids. However, I suggest that you don't make that recommendation to her. She may have other idea.s

OP, if you can do it casually, I would ask the teacher to keep an eye on the situation. I taught school. Sometimes, you just don't notice things. She might want to separate the bad boys.

Anonymous wrote:OP--are they taunting? Saying mean things? or is it more excluding your son?

I don't know about excluding, my son doesn't care to be friends with him since they've been so mean. It sounds more like taunting and saying mean things. He tells me that they whisper and point at him and his friends and then laugh, another time he said that when he gets called on in class they will snicker after he speaks up (which makes me SOOO angry because where is the teacher???), and he's also mentioned they will mimic him (when he was eating snack, or doing some other action, they will copy exactly what he is doing). I asked my son if these kids do it to anyone else and he says they are bad to his friends and some other kids too.

I'm thinking of suggesting to my son that he should speak up if he sees them picking on one of his friends, like tell them to stop being rude or something like that, and then maybe his friends will stand up for him and they can sort of look out for each other. I'm thinking of lots of different things I need to do. But I'm loving all of the suggestions (and support!) I'm getting here. Thanks everyone.

OP--are they taunting? Saying mean things? or is it more excluding your son?

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, I think 9 is about the age when bullying starts. Before that, kids can be mean yes but the kids tend not to organize against each other and divide into "cliques" as much. Age 9-14 tends to be the worst time for bullies from what I've seen. If your son seems miserable don't hesitate to get involved. Go to the teachers and the principal and for pete's sake don't let them victim blame your kid. That happened to me when I was about that age, I was a victim of bullying but I was the one who got in trouble for it and had to miss class to speak with the useless guidance counselor about why my self-esteem was so low and why were the other kids targeting me.

Wow that is horrible pp! That is really messed up. I'm really sorry to hear that, but thank you for sharing your experience. Thankfully, I don't think that would happen if I went to the principal about this, but I also don't know what will happen, and always worry that my actions will have a negative effect on my child.

Sadly, I think 9 is about the age when bullying starts. Before that, kids can be mean yes but the kids tend not to organize against each other and divide into "cliques" as much. Age 9-14 tends to be the worst time for bullies from what I've seen. If your son seems miserable don't hesitate to get involved. Go to the teachers and the principal and for pete's sake don't let them victim blame your kid. That happened to me when I was about that age, I was a victim of bullying but I was the one who got in trouble for it and had to miss class to speak with the useless guidance counselor about why my self-esteem was so low and why were the other kids targeting me.