Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great to have roles and specialization. Not sure why they have to be "gender roles." They can be whatever each person is good at/enjoys/doesn't mind.

Agree. In our family, DH does all the laundry. It is a man's job.

Lol, I love you. I need to show this post to DH. He claims the laundry is always softer and folded more nicely when I do it ... sigh.

PP here--that is hilarious. DH actually doesn't do a great job with the laundry; he doesn't believe in stain treatment, apparently. But I do shoulder nearly all the cooking and cleaning and it is wonderful to know that there is one chore for which I bear zero responsibility. (He also pays all the bills, which is awesome. I hate bills. And he does our taxes and makes the kids' lunches. Love him.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly the man should always be the primary driver too. Can I get an amen, OP?

Whenever I see a woman driving and the man in the passenger seat, I think that marriage has huge issues, and each person independently, as well. The woman has control issues, for one. Whether or not it is old fashioned of me to think so.

Haha really? This seems like a ridiculous assumption. Normally my DH is the primary driver because I have a longer commute (45 min. twice a week, which I realize is nothing around here) and I hate driving. So when we go somewhere during nights/weekends, he drives. He works from home full time, so it just sorta makes sense for him to drive most times. But, now that I'm pregnant I will drive at night if we're not walking/ubering so he can have a few drinks. I keep telling him to get it all out of his system now

There can be so many reasons for why a husband vs wife would drive and a lot of times couples switch off! I think people just sort of fall into their own routine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly the man should always be the primary driver too. Can I get an amen, OP?

Whenever I see a woman driving and the man in the passenger seat, I think that marriage has huge issues, and each person independently, as well. The woman has control issues, for one. Whether or not it is old fashioned of me to think so.

Critical thinking isn't your strong suit, eh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great to have roles and specialization. Not sure why they have to be "gender roles." They can be whatever each person is good at/enjoys/doesn't mind.

Agree. In our family, DH does all the laundry. It is a man's job.

Lol, I love you. I need to show this post to DH. He claims the laundry is always softer and folded more nicely when I do it ... sigh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly the man should always be the primary driver too. Can I get an amen, OP?

Whenever I see a woman driving and the man in the passenger seat, I think that marriage has huge issues, and each person independently, as well. The woman has control issues, for one. Whether or not it is old fashioned of me to think so.

Oh no! Someone I don't know or give a shit about has a baseless opinion!

Anonymous wrote:Clearly the man should always be the primary driver too. Can I get an amen, OP?

Whenever I see a woman driving and the man in the passenger seat, I think that marriage has huge issues, and each person independently, as well. The woman has control issues, for one. Whether or not it is old fashioned of me to think so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh shit - my wife and I are in a same sex marriage. What do we do now?!?

How will ever get your oil changed or your lawn mowed?

My god...neither of them can be the primary driver either!

Anonymous wrote:Oh shit - my wife and I are in a same sex marriage. What do we do now?!?

How will ever get your oil changed or your lawn mowed?

I don't think it needs to be gender roles. There needs to be a division of labor. For instance I do the yardwork (I'm the wife) and my spouse (husband) goes to the grocery store.

I don't agree, OP.

Oh shit - my wife and I are in a same sex marriage. What do we do now?!?

I think roles are fine, and the fact that they may often fall the the traditional gender is likely due to the fact that we're still learning as a society that women can weld and men can dance ballet.

In our house, I do all the cooking. It's not because I'm the woman, but because we would be eating at midnight or getting food poisoning regularly if DH cooked. He's the primary driver because I'm an excellent passenger who prefers to sight see than be pissed off at other drivers.

That being said, I'd rather hurl myself down a flight of 50 concrete stairs than iron, so DH does that. I'm an early bird, so I take out the garbage. We both do construction on the house. I do most of the gardening, but he digs the holes because for some reason it makes him feel like he accomplished something "manly", so I throw him that bone if he's home. If he's not, I am aware of how to use a shovel (or a drill, or a

I guess lesson is: every couple makes it work. Some fall into traditional gender roles, which is cool if they both like that role. Some refuse gender roles based on the fact that they are (eg. I had a coworker who REFUSED to cook because she would "never" agree to do woman's work). Some do a little bit of each. I think as long as the couple is happy (or at least accepting) of how it's worked out is fine,

It's acceptable of course. I don't think it's ideal. I think two people should work together to determine strengths and desires regarding household chores and responsibilities. A better model for kids.

Anonymous wrote:If that works for your marriage, great. If you try to apply that to everyone's marriage, no.

Yes. They shouldn't criticize you for that; you shouldn't criticize them for not following traditional roles.

Anonymous wrote:Clearly the man should always be the primary driver too. Can I get an amen, OP?

PP here. In my house DH is the primary driver because he sucks at managing the kids in the car. My BFF however is the primary driver in her house, because she can't handle how slow her DH drives. (Which is true in my house too, but I've overcome my impatience.)