Anonymous wrote:Serious question - what is the actual task "pay the bills". Aren't they all on autopay and it takes 5 seconds to skim?

If I paid our bills that would be the case. But my DH is old-school and suspicious of online banking security. He likes to write paper checks for everything that I hadn't previously set up as autopay. I think it's a waste of time but at least it his time not mine!

I do 100%. DH is retired and isn't interested. We'll consult about spending for large purchases ~ 5k+

DH earns about 75% of our money.

DH money into a joint account, and my money into my own account. Most bills paid through joint account or joint credit card, and my own personal purchases (makeup, going to lunch, my own bills including student loans, cc, etc) paid through my own account.

So you could think of it like DH earns 75%, and 75% of our money he handles/we share, and 75% of our purchases are paid with that money.


Married 5 years.

Anonymous wrote:Serious question - what is the actual task "pay the bills". Aren't they all on autopay and it takes 5 seconds to skim?

At least for us, some are like the cable bill, credit cards, etc. and a few aren't like doctor co-pays and HOA fees but I agree that doesn't take much time. I think where the effort comes in is in making sure there is enough money in the accounts for the various expenses, monitoring spending (to include comparing receipts against credit card statements/charges), comparing spending to the budget, developing plans/proposals for reallocating money in the budget as needed. For those with more money it's reviewing and managing the allocation of investments. It's not a herculean task though.

Anonymous wrote:Serious question - what is the actual task "pay the bills". Aren't they all on autopay and it takes 5 seconds to skim?

Ours aren't - we write checks for cleaners, daycare, some medical stuff etc. I keep track of all investments (monthly spreadsheets etc) and file all the stuff that's autopaid.

Both work, similar salaries. Joint account, I manage everything. I also have significant inherited assets in my own name - he doesn't follow them at all.

Serious question - what is the actual task "pay the bills". Aren't they all on autopay and it takes 5 seconds to skim?

My DH is a bit of a control freak, so he manages the finances. It's all joint-- we both work. I would be happy to handle the finances, but he likes to switch the money around between the accounts to get the most out of it or whatever, so I just let him do his thing. Neither one of us spends much, but I let him know about bigger unexpected purchases just so there is enough $ in the checking acct. We actually don't argue about money. He always CCs me on all correspondence with our money manager so I know what is going on.

We both work. He pays the mortgage, I pay everything else. No joint accounts, everyone manages their own finances. We discuss and agree on major purchases.

We both work FT at similar salaries. DH does the regular bill paying. I'm the big picture person who tracks our spending over time, investment balances, and does the taxes. All accounts are joint.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife can't save a dime so I handle the finances

Honey, is that YOU?

It's me and I wish you would figure out why you like to spend money and can't stay out of stores. Then our marriage would be a lot happier.

We both work, and each had well established, and healthy, savings approaches, retirement accounts, and great credit when we married.

We now have one joint account for income and expenses. Husband sets up online bill pay for all utilities, mortgage, etc... I pay attention to running balances in accounts, shifting monies to savings, etc...

We discuss any purchase above the $500 level but don't discuss daily living purchases.

We approach the whole issue a little differently - especially in terms of how much attention we pay to it (he's a "set it and forget it" guy while I like to know pretty actively what's going on) but we share a very similar fundamental approach. We both lived well within our means when we were single, brought no debt other than a mortgage to the marriage, and are pretty fiscally conservative and frugal.

That being said - I miss the days where I didn't have to share decision making over purchases, money, investments, etc... but I'm SO thankful this isn't a significant source of tension for us.

Anonymous wrote:We bothered work full time. We have separate accounts and each manage our own money. We split the bills. Eg. He pays the mortgage, I pay property taxes. He pays utilities, I buy all the groceries. We might "share" on a big purchase,but in general one of us picks up the " tab" and it washes out with other purchases because the other person balances it out.

It works for us. I know a lot of couples would be mortified, but really, we don't argue about finances and everything clicks. Neither of us is accountable to the other one if we want to make a personal purchase, either.

So you plan separately for retirement, and don't consider asset allocation over both of your holdings?

Husband, I handle everything. Joint accounts, nothing separate. My wife just isn't interested in financial things, so I handle the bills and monitor the accounts. The trade-off for this is she needs to ask before she buys anything more expensive than $20 or so. Not that she has an allowance, she just has to make sure we have money in the account and our bills are cleared, etc. So long as she clears bigger purchases so I can manage our money, I have no issue shouldering the responsibility.

I (H) do all the finances. No separate accounts other than retirement funds.