Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What I get from reading this is that the OP has not been given more details, that she is just expected to accept "medical emergency" as the reason for a fourth gift of a large amount of money.

If you have it to give, do so. Be sure to let them know, however, that your reserves are now officially wiped out. Give, for this last time.

When asked again (because we know there will be another catastrophic car need or house damage accident or something), explain that your four gifts of X, X, X, and X amounts (totaling XXXX) wiped you out and suggest two things, like a bank loan or a local social service agency, insurance, or whatever.

Commiserate in the future, but no more giving. Unless you're truly in it for the long haul, and you're okay with this set up. Even then, moving forward, offer to make direct payments. For example, child X needs braces, wisdom teeth extracted, whatever. Fine, what's the dentist's name, I'll send a check out today. Accountant said I'd face tax liability if I kept making checks out to you and not claiming you as a dependent (or something that sounds authoritative, if entirely inaccurate).

Call the bluff by maintaining that your hands are tied---either because you've been wiped out by past gifts or some accountant/audit/thing has instructed you thusly.

I agree with this. Also, don't agree to just give the person money, tell them to give you the name of whomever they owe money to, and that you'll pay the bill directly. We've helped my FIL on a few occasions by giving him the money he said he needed, but once started insisting on paying directly every time he asked, the vast majority of financial crises magically resolved themselves with no payment required.

Anonymous wrote: Or just say no. That also works.

Anonymous wrote:
What I get from reading this is that the OP has not been given more details, that she is just expected to accept "medical emergency" as the reason for a fourth gift of a large amount of money.

If you have it to give, do so. Be sure to let them know, however, that your reserves are now officially wiped out. Give, for this last time.

When asked again (because we know there will be another catastrophic car need or house damage accident or something), explain that your four gifts of X, X, X, and X amounts (totaling XXXX) wiped you out and suggest two things, like a bank loan or a local social service agency, insurance, or whatever.

Commiserate in the future, but no more giving. Unless you're truly in it for the long haul, and you're okay with this set up. Even then, moving forward, offer to make direct payments. For example, child X needs braces, wisdom teeth extracted, whatever. Fine, what's the dentist's name, I'll send a check out today. Accountant said I'd face tax liability if I kept making checks out to you and not claiming you as a dependent (or something that sounds authoritative, if entirely inaccurate).

Call the bluff by maintaining that your hands are tied---either because you've been wiped out by past gifts or some accountant/audit/thing has instructed you thusly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to pay? I think you need more information in your post.

I wouldn't pay. If they are indigent, medicare/medicaid will pay. Why should you be responsible?

Still middle class enough to scrape by. No extras. not eligible for Medicaid.

If you refuse to pay then they will become eligible because they will use up whatever funds they do have to pay for these medical bills.
I agree with other PPs that it would be easier to discuss if we had more details, but bottom line is--you do not have to pay if you don't want to pay. You decide if your frustration with paying is greater then whatever fallout in family relations will occur if you don't pay. Your choice.

Anonymous wrote:
What I get from reading this is that the OP has not been given more details, that she is just expected to accept "medical emergency" as the reason for a fourth gift of a large amount of money.

If you have it to give, do so. Be sure to let them know, however, that your reserves are now officially wiped out. Give, for this last time.

When asked again (because we know there will be another catastrophic car need or house damage accident or something), explain that your four gifts of X, X, X, and X amounts (totaling XXXX) wiped you out and suggest two things, like a bank loan or a local social service agency, insurance, or whatever.

Commiserate in the future, but no more giving. Unless you're truly in it for the long haul, and you're okay with this set up. Even then, moving forward, offer to make direct payments. For example, child X needs braces, wisdom teeth extracted, whatever. Fine, what's the dentist's name, I'll send a check out today. Accountant said I'd face tax liability if I kept making checks out to you and not claiming you as a dependent (or something that sounds authoritative, if entirely inaccurate).

Call the bluff by maintaining that your hands are tied---either because you've been wiped out by past gifts or some accountant/audit/thing has instructed you thusly.