Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 22:07     Subject: Re:Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Definitely a good sign-but why not try to break whatever bad pattern you had with the ex and just be open and direct with this guy. If he's going to freak out if you say "so, where are we at" better to know that now.


True. I guess I didn't want to ask for fear he may not know and I scare him away of something. I will just ask tonight when I'm at his place.

I normally don't have sex before exclusivity but I really like him and couldn't help it. We have had 10 dates in 6 weeks. We still have only had sex 3 times out of the 5 we hung out in the past 2 weeks. What kind of worries me is most men I've known try I make a move or push for sex once they are getting it but he doesn't much. He has initiated but we hung out yesterday and didn't have sex at all.


OK, now this is just weird. Relax for crying out loud.


OP just SCREAMS uptight.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 21:37     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:To be more specific and candid.

We first had sex on Valentines day. That weekend alone we had sex somewhere between 7- 10 times. Since then we have gone out or each other's house the wknd after Vday, this wknd and about 5 times during the last two weekdays. We have had sex maybe 10 times more or less since VDay wknd. We generally have a lot of sex over the weekend. We didn't have sex yesterday or a few times last week but we have sex Friday and almost all day yesterday. I highly doubt he is gay or has a low libido. There has only been 5 times we haven't had sex.

He has initiated majority of the sex but I've done it as well. He is physical in the sense that he loves holding and cuddling me. We make out all the time. He gropes me even if we don't have sex. He is a butt man and loves to grab and lightly spank my ass.

I realize it's best to ask but I believe he views us as becoming serious. We we're suppose to see each other tonight but he is working late.


It sounds like you have a lot of sex after all! Maybe on the weekdays he is just tired from workng late or preoccupied with work? Or do you think there could be another reason for things to be different during the week? Does the difference bother you?

I wouldn't worry so much about whether things are headed toward being serious or think he is the main one to determine whether they become serious or not. I would just pay attention to how you interact over time. I don't think he has the ability to predict how compatible you will be in the future.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:59     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:To be more specific and candid.

We first had sex on Valentines day. That weekend alone we had sex somewhere between 7- 10 times. Since then we have gone out or each other's house the wknd after Vday, this wknd and about 5 times during the last two weekdays. We have had sex maybe 10 times more or less since VDay wknd. We generally have a lot of sex over the weekend. We didn't have sex yesterday or a few times last week but we have sex Friday and almost all day yesterday. I highly doubt he is gay or has a low libido. There has only been 5 times we haven't had sex.

He has initiated majority of the sex but I've done it as well. He is physical in the sense that he loves holding and cuddling me. We make out all the time. He gropes me even if we don't have sex. He is a butt man and loves to grab and lightly spank my ass.

I realize it's best to ask but I believe he views us as becoming serious. We we're suppose to see each other tonight but he is working late.


He isn't working late. He is with another woman. You should have the exclusive talk before you have sex.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:45     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
To be more specific and candid.

We first had sex on Valentines day. That weekend alone we had sex somewhere between 7- 10 times. Since then we have gone out or each other's house the wknd after Vday, this wknd and about 5 times during the last two weekdays. We have had sex maybe 10 times more or less since VDay wknd. We generally have a lot of sex over the weekend. We didn't have sex yesterday or a few times last week but we have sex Friday and almost all day yesterday. I highly doubt he is gay or has a low libido. There has only been 5 times we haven't had sex.

He has initiated majority of the sex but I've done it as well. He is physical in the sense that he loves holding and cuddling me. We make out all the time. He gropes me even if we don't have sex. He is a butt man and loves to grab and lightly spank my ass.

I realize it's best to ask but I believe he views us as becoming serious. We we're suppose to see each other tonight but he is working late.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:39     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
I think the exclusivity talk is unnecessary. I judge people by actions not words. Strongly doubt he wants to see other women.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:34     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
(Man here) Wait until after the wedding for the exclusivity talk. If, as you say, he's looking to settle down and get married, then his (whole) family's opinion of you is going to be important to him. If it goes well, then have the talk.

On the other hand, this is a useful exercise for you, too. If you think his family is odd or crazy, it's a preview of what you'll be seeing during holidays and in-law visits if for some reason this relationship should go the distance.

This is a significant test/milestone that should at least let you know whether you COULD have an exclusive, long-term relationship with this person.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:21     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be cautious about guy who doesn't initiate sex once he is getting it. Could have low libido or be gay? BTDT. Run.


He definitely is not gay. He will initiate and make a move just not on every occasion we see each other. He's initiated the 4 out of 5 times we have had sex so far. In the past my exes would tear off my clothes or make a move before I'm in the the door but he isn't like that. He will make a move but not right away.
He will also just cuddle, grope, and make out without it leading to sex.


Maybe he is waiting to see if you will initiate? How do you feel when he doesn't initiate? Do things seem "off" to you? If so, I would not ignore that. I am the same poster who suggested that you run.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:17     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
See how he introduces you at the wedding.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:13     Subject: Re:Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Definitely a good sign-but why not try to break whatever bad pattern you had with the ex and just be open and direct with this guy. If he's going to freak out if you say "so, where are we at" better to know that now.


True. I guess I didn't want to ask for fear he may not know and I scare him away of something. I will just ask tonight when I'm at his place.

I normally don't have sex before exclusivity but I really like him and couldn't help it. We have had 10 dates in 6 weeks. We still have only had sex 3 times out of the 5 we hung out in the past 2 weeks. What kind of worries me is most men I've known try I make a move or push for sex once they are getting it but he doesn't much. He has initiated but we hung out yesterday and didn't have sex at all.


I would not over think this. Maybe he just doesn't want you to think that all he wants his sex.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 20:13     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be cautious about guy who doesn't initiate sex once he is getting it. Could have low libido or be gay? BTDT. Run.


Go away. Your input on this forum is no longer desired.


I think you are lucky enough not to have had this problem. You may not speak for everyone here.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 19:55     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be cautious about guy who doesn't initiate sex once he is getting it. Could have low libido or be gay? BTDT. Run.


He definitely is not gay. He will initiate and make a move just not on every occasion we see each other. He's initiated the 4 out of 5 times we have had sex so far. In the past my exes would tear off my clothes or make a move before I'm in the the door but he isn't like that. He will make a move but not right away.
He will also just cuddle, grope, and make out without it leading to sex.


How many times has he initiated the cuddle in the 10 times you have been out in the last six weeks? What's his grope ratio to date? What's the over/under on the make-out-without-leading-to-sex scenario? Just curious how far your statistics go.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 19:55     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:I would be cautious about guy who doesn't initiate sex once he is getting it. Could have low libido or be gay? BTDT. Run.


Go away. Your input on this forum is no longer desired.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 19:51     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Just ask for clarification geezus
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 19:39     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
Anonymous wrote:I would be cautious about guy who doesn't initiate sex once he is getting it. Could have low libido or be gay? BTDT. Run.


He definitely is not gay. He will initiate and make a move just not on every occasion we see each other. He's initiated the 4 out of 5 times we have had sex so far. In the past my exes would tear off my clothes or make a move before I'm in the the door but he isn't like that. He will make a move but not right away.
He will also just cuddle, grope, and make out without it leading to sex.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2015 19:34     Subject: Does this mean he's serious?
I would be cautious about guy who doesn't initiate sex once he is getting it. Could have low libido or be gay? BTDT. Run.