I grew up with locks on the door. We almost never locked doors except to keep out annoying siblings... or else to be the annoying sibling.

We have teens and they are allowed to lock their door. Interesting that the DDs lock and the DSs do not. In any event, we have a knock first (with occupant acknowledgment) policy and it has never been an issue. First, we reserve the right to search (never have but the threat is there). Second, these are those locks that can be opened with a crochet needle or a Q-tip - so we can easily get in if we need to.

I lock the door on the master bedroom whenever SS visits. He snoops and steals.

Anonymous wrote:I don't let mine lock their doors because of fire safety issues. If there is a fire or an emergency, I need to get to them. We do allow closed doors and everyone knocks before entering. We also don't allow friends in bedrooms.

OK, this is odd. Why?

Anonymous wrote:If your concern is emergencies, keep a key (or usually just some kind of tool) right nearby so you can quickly open it. Or make the rule no locked doors at night. Otherwise, let them have their privacy. In my experience the "you must knock first" rule means people knock and then immediately walk in.

This is what we do.

I don't let mine lock their doors because of fire safety issues. If there is a fire or an emergency, I need to get to them. We do allow closed doors and everyone knocks before entering. We also don't allow friends in bedrooms.

If your concern is emergencies, keep a key (or usually just some kind of tool) right nearby so you can quickly open it. Or make the rule no locked doors at night. Otherwise, let them have their privacy. In my experience the "you must knock first" rule means people knock and then immediately walk in.

The only thing I say -- as a cautionary note -- is that if you have a no lock rule, please have respectful boundaries.

No one in my house honored the knock rule. The only way I got privacy was to lock my door. I remember my mother would open my door and then say "Knock Knock." She did this because (as a pp so proudly announces) she did not trust me.

If you don't trust your kids, the problem lies deeper than an issue of whether or not to lock a door. People have a fundamental right to privacy and boundaries, people of all ages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because I trust my kids and I don't believe they're doing anything I would disapprove of so why should I insist on no locks?

What are YOUR kids doing outside your home that you're so worried about what they'd be doing under your roof?

I don't want my kid locking his door. He can sleep through any noise, including the smoke detector or me yelling at him to get up, so it reassures me to know that I could get to him and wake him quickly in an emergency, or on a school day.

So I guess what MY kid is doing is sleeping.

I'm the OP and this is my primary rationale for the "no locks" issue. My kids are deep, deep sleepers. I'm scared they wouldn't hear an alarm.

With that said, I also want them to have a healthy set of boundaries. Just me, but I don't think it's healthy for me to go in and "toss" things regularly.

+1

My kids are not allowed to have locks on their doors. The master bedroom has a lock on it. One bathroom does as well.

If there were a fire I don't want to deal with a locked door when I'm trying to get my kids out of the house. Everyone respects a closed door.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because I trust my kids and I don't believe they're doing anything I would disapprove of so why should I insist on no locks?

What are YOUR kids doing outside your home that you're so worried about what they'd be doing under your roof?

I don't want my kid locking his door. He can sleep through any noise, including the smoke detector or me yelling at him to get up, so it reassures me to know that I could get to him and wake him quickly in an emergency, or on a school day.

So I guess what MY kid is doing is sleeping.

I'm the OP and this is my primary rationale for the "no locks" issue. My kids are deep, deep sleepers. I'm scared they wouldn't hear an alarm.

With that said, I also want them to have a healthy set of boundaries. Just me, but I don't think it's healthy for me to go in and "toss" things regularly.

I never trusted my kids. Lock or no lock. I tossed their rooms regularly.

That being said, there are locks on the doors but I have the only key. I will not enter their rooms unless I knock and they allow me in.

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because I trust my kids and I don't believe they're doing anything I would disapprove of so why should I insist on no locks?

What are YOUR kids doing outside your home that you're so worried about what they'd be doing under your roof?

I don't want my kid locking his door. He can sleep through any noise, including the smoke detector or me yelling at him to get up, so it reassures me to know that I could get to him and wake him quickly in an emergency, or on a school day.

So I guess what MY kid is doing is sleeping.

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want to walk in on them jacking off?

No. So I knock.

We have no locks. We always knock. You can open those locks with a knitting needle, so there is no safety issue.