Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 21:31     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Anonymous wrote:I really need to get away from my fwb. We have this strange relationship. I have feelings for him but I don't know how to describe it. He is not a good guy though. He's very closed and distant. He lies to me. It's gotten to the point where I really don't like talking to him anymore. He's very negative and always seems unhappy and a little angry. Plus, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm fat. He never compliments my body, whereas my last bf went on about it constantly and made me feel sexy and hot. The problem is, fwb turns me onnnn. How do I keep away from him? I think he might be a toxic person.


What always amazes me is how women like you will be treated like crap, but a good guy, not a nice guy who is needy and desperate, but a man who has it together will have no appeal for you.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 21:25     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
A lot of the time, sex is better with someone with whom you do not have emotional feelings because you are not putting yourself at risk. Therefore, you can afford to be freakier and animalistic.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 20:53     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Think about all the psychological disorders that have led to him having this antisocial, psychotic personality. And consider how your kids will probably inherit them.

That should do it and turn you off sufficiently.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 19:56     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes I dated a guy who was reserved, not super communicative. I think they make up for it in bed--the need to express themselves comes out sensually since they are unable verbally. A friend had the same experience. But those are difficult partners to have. It's basically a social or emotional immaturity you're dealing with. And then with the lying. That's not good. I would get away from this person and move on. Seriously. Good sex is nice but good relationships are better and better for your life and future. Good luck.


Yes, you're right about the good sex. I guess since its so good I focus on it, but surely it could be like that with someone else. I'm older and I have kids so I'm not worried about wasting my youth. I am worried that staying fwbs with this guy will keep me attached to him and stop me from finding a better relationship. I think when this started I really did just want an fwb, but now I'm realizing I want more. It's funny because my rethinking began when he was saying what he liked about me, and one of the things was that I didn't want more, as in a full-blown relationship. But ever since he said that I've been thinking wait, I think I do want more.

When I met him I was coming off a really bad breakup. I think I was having problems feeling connected emotionally to a man. At one point he kept asking me how I feel but I just could not say the words. Now he's cold and I think he's lost interest.

Plus there's the lying. It's close to a deal-breaker for me. When I caught him in it we laughed about it, but it does make me wonder what else he's lied about. It seems like if you'll tell one lie you'll tell more.


He and specifically the sex is keeping you attached to him. So, yes, to find a fulfilling relationship it had to stop. And yes one lie is indicative of many more.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 19:51     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Anonymous wrote:Yes I dated a guy who was reserved, not super communicative. I think they make up for it in bed--the need to express themselves comes out sensually since they are unable verbally. A friend had the same experience. But those are difficult partners to have. It's basically a social or emotional immaturity you're dealing with. And then with the lying. That's not good. I would get away from this person and move on. Seriously. Good sex is nice but good relationships are better and better for your life and future. Good luck.


Yes, you're right about the good sex. I guess since its so good I focus on it, but surely it could be like that with someone else. I'm older and I have kids so I'm not worried about wasting my youth. I am worried that staying fwbs with this guy will keep me attached to him and stop me from finding a better relationship. I think when this started I really did just want an fwb, but now I'm realizing I want more. It's funny because my rethinking began when he was saying what he liked about me, and one of the things was that I didn't want more, as in a full-blown relationship. But ever since he said that I've been thinking wait, I think I do want more.

When I met him I was coming off a really bad breakup. I think I was having problems feeling connected emotionally to a man. At one point he kept asking me how I feel but I just could not say the words. Now he's cold and I think he's lost interest.

Plus there's the lying. It's close to a deal-breaker for me. When I caught him in it we laughed about it, but it does make me wonder what else he's lied about. It seems like if you'll tell one lie you'll tell more.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 18:34     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
You "think...??" I KNOW.

I also have been there...Done that. Many o' times OP. Sucks, huh??

Like the sex is off the hook, but the guy is pure poison.

What you are addicted to is the sex, not the person. And yes, I believe you can be addicted to the sex, just like a drug addict is addicted to a narcotic.

You know it's toxic for your system, yet you feel so good in the moment...It seems worth that "high" if even for a moment. But when it's over, it's over. And it hurts.

Just like an addict, you need to be pro-active and take things into your own hands. While it may hurt to do so now, it is best to sever ties sooner rather than later, trust me.

Because regardless, this whole thing will not end well for you.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 17:32     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
I just want to hear more about 23:11's adventures.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 16:36     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Possible to be addicted to an ideal, yes.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 14:42     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Anonymous wrote:I've known 3 lovely women in my social circle who were addicted to (different) FWBs, all completely delusional that someday he would wake up and love them. Never happened, and none of them woke up until their late 30s, when they were desperate for marriage and children. Too late for 2 of them. The saddest shit ever, people. This had been going on since their mid-20s. Don't let a guy steal your youth.


+1
Help yourself and run OP. Sex is a drug that can ruin your life. Detox yourself from this person for good so you can make room in your life for a mutual lasting relationship.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 14:37     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
I've known 3 lovely women in my social circle who were addicted to (different) FWBs, all completely delusional that someday he would wake up and love them. Never happened, and none of them woke up until their late 30s, when they were desperate for marriage and children. Too late for 2 of them. The saddest shit ever, people. This had been going on since their mid-20s. Don't let a guy steal your youth.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 14:26     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Yes I dated a guy who was reserved, not super communicative. I think they make up for it in bed--the need to express themselves comes out sensually since they are unable verbally. A friend had the same experience. But those are difficult partners to have. It's basically a social or emotional immaturity you're dealing with. And then with the lying. That's not good. I would get away from this person and move on. Seriously. Good sex is nice but good relationships are better and better for your life and future. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 14:07     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
I've been addicted for 16 years. After four, I married him; still can't get enough.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 14:06     Subject: Re:Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Yes you can be addicted. Sex and attraction can cause dopamine surges in your brain. You get a "high" when you are around the person who you feel attracted to and you get a dopamine surge in the brain. When you are away from them you crave this. Just like people crave alcohol, drugs, food. But this person is bad for you. Also sex can also cause a release of oxytocin in women that make them feel "bonded" to their partners. This is just natures trick to get you pregnant. Your hormones don't care if the male is a jerk. Kick the habit and focus on yourself. Find new healthy ways to feel good. Start running, spend time with good friends, and in the future try and first find guys that are kind and will treat you well.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 13:53     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I felt like this once with a FWB. He is still the best lover I've ever had. Start telling him "no" and he may pull it together. He may just walk too, but it's worth the risk.

I didn't follow this advice until I was disappointed and hurt with his bulllshit. It did a number on me. Don't go down that road.


What happened when you cut him off? Is he married today?


He still asks for sex. I stop chasing him before I stopped sleeping with him. I don't care anymore. I found a real relationship soon after I stopped caring. FWB was and still is married. I let it wreck me for too long.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2015 11:36     Subject: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
It is called being co-dependent. I am sure there are websites and booms that can give you insight on this.