Anonymous wrote:OP here Thanks all again. got a few helpful suggestions for now

1. go to al anon

2. don't be as secretive. I plan to tell a few more people about the problem

3. know that if we stay together, there will continue to be some relapses

4. he will focus more on relapse prevention and anxiety with his psychologist and psychiatrist.

I would like to suggest minor changes to your list-

1) go to al-anon and build up your own support network
2) don't be secretive. plan to tell a few more people about the problem who are within your support network. talk to your husband about how you need to be open about your family's problem with people in your support network. However, while you don't want to be secretive, you should be selective about who you share this with and your reasons for doing so. Again- I'm not saying you should HIDE it but venting to a catty, neighborhood gossip about how your husband is a no-good drunk won't help either of you.
3) 100% correct.
4) he will 100% focus on relapse prevention with his psychologist, psychiatrist, and AA sponsor.

OP here Thanks all again. got a few helpful suggestions for now

1. go to al anon

2. don't be as secretive. I plan to tell a few more people about the problem

3. know that if we stay together, there will continue to be some relapses

4. he will focus more on relapse prevention and anxiety with his psychologist and psychiatrist.

One day you, one hopes, you will wake up and stop making excuses for him. Face the fact, he is an alcalcoholic. Alcohol is the only thing that is important to him. You and children are of no concern. Get out and do not look back. Get out now before he drags you and children down with him.

Stop feeling sorry for him.