Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 13:34     Subject: Re:lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Did you guys ever have sex or was it just infrequently? We have been dealing with this problem since we were engaged. I had cold feet and almost called off the wedding.

Problem he is is my best friend and I took vows. I can't let him down by leaving him. It is hard though because I really want a normal sex life and to conceive naturally, if possible.


You are not alone.


But you are staying?
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 13:16     Subject: Re:lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:

Did you guys ever have sex or was it just infrequently? We have been dealing with this problem since we were engaged. I had cold feet and almost called off the wedding.

Problem he is is my best friend and I took vows. I can't let him down by leaving him. It is hard though because I really want a normal sex life and to conceive naturally, if possible.


You are not alone.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 13:11     Subject: lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:You don't have to drink every day or even be physically dependent on alcohol to be an alcoholic (or abusing alcohol). If it is having a negative affect on your life, you (or your DH) should evaluate whether there is an alcohol problem.

Please don't have children with a functional alcoholic. My Dad was one. I never saw him crazy drunk, but once he got home he was mostly a little buzzed. It really messed me up and caused lots of damage on my parent's marriage.

Please do some research on alcoholism before moving on to fertility treatments.


OK. He has even mentioned how his parents didn't drink when he was growing up. How he doesn't want to his children around his drinking. He seems to think he will grow up once there's a child in the house. I'm not so sure.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 13:07     Subject: Re:lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:I was in a sexless marriage until the age of 29; he was clinically depressed. Get out now! Do not think twice about it but get a lawyer and a therapist and start over. I met an amazing man and got remarried--turned out he had MFI and we had to do fertility treatments, but my new DH is not just a good husband but will be a good father.


Did you guys ever have sex or was it just infrequently? We have been dealing with this problem since we were engaged. I had cold feet and almost called off the wedding.

Problem he is is my best friend and I took vows. I can't let him down by leaving him. It is hard though because I really want a normal sex life and to conceive naturally, if possible.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 13:07     Subject: lack of sex
You don't have to drink every day or even be physically dependent on alcohol to be an alcoholic (or abusing alcohol). If it is having a negative affect on your life, you (or your DH) should evaluate whether there is an alcohol problem.

Please don't have children with a functional alcoholic. My Dad was one. I never saw him crazy drunk, but once he got home he was mostly a little buzzed. It really messed me up and caused lots of damage on my parent's marriage.

Please do some research on alcoholism before moving on to fertility treatments.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 12:43     Subject: Re:lack of sex
I was in a sexless marriage until the age of 29; he was clinically depressed. Get out now! Do not think twice about it but get a lawyer and a therapist and start over. I met an amazing man and got remarried--turned out he had MFI and we had to do fertility treatments, but my new DH is not just a good husband but will be a good father.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:32     Subject: Re:lack of sex
Yeah. It is hard to be happy when your husband can't passionately make love to you. It stinks living without that but seems like many do.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:30     Subject: lack of sex
You don't sound that happy in general. Who would be happy with this? From your OP:

I'm married to a man who loves me but lives alcohol more.

But only you can answer what you want and how happy you are. We can't.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:15     Subject: lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he likes the bottle more than he likes giving you an erect penis, he'll probably like the bottle more than helping you care for a baby.


That's a good point. I do worry I will miss out on having kids and later regret it. I really don't want to get divorced because I'm for the most part happy. I suppose I should just keep drinking and enjoy the childfree life?


This comment does not exude happiness.


What do you mean?
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:13     Subject: lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he likes the bottle more than he likes giving you an erect penis, he'll probably like the bottle more than helping you care for a baby.


That's a good point. I do worry I will miss out on having kids and later regret it. I really don't want to get divorced because I'm for the most part happy. I suppose I should just keep drinking and enjoy the childfree life?


This comment does not exude happiness.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:11     Subject: lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:If he likes the bottle more than he likes giving you an erect penis, he'll probably like the bottle more than helping you care for a baby.


That's a good point. I do worry I will miss out on having kids and later regret it. I really don't want to get divorced because I'm for the most part happy. I suppose I should just keep drinking and enjoy the childfree life?
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:08     Subject: lack of sex
If he likes the bottle more than he likes giving you an erect penis, he'll probably like the bottle more than helping you care for a baby.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:07     Subject: Re:lack of sex
I'm not so sure he is an alcoholic. We drink a few times a week. He did know this weekend I'm ovulating. Friday he didn't drink so we could have sex. He couldn't perform. Then he drank a good amount Saturday night. Oh and he drank Thursday too. It does seem to bother him not to drink at an event or out to eat but he can do it.

He does kind of act like an idiot when he's been drinking. He also usually passes out on a chair at home.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:05     Subject: lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Consider it a blessing you have not had a child with this man yet. He needs to address the alcohol issue first, then you can consider having children. If he doesn't, then you need to decide if you want to remain childless and stay with an alcoholic or move on.


He's not necessarily an alcoholic


No, but you are an idiot. A child is something serious. You said you aren't sure if you want one yet are trying for one. You said he loves drinking more than her loves you


Thanks for calling me an idiot. That was kind. I suppose I wanted kids previously but faced with his drinking and fertility treatments I'm having second thoughts.


You need to hear the truth. Seriously, how old are you? You sound very immature


OP and her DH have issues they need to face, clearly. But PP are you able to add to the discussion without name calling?


Life doesn't need to always be sugar coated. Should I give her ways to better help herself get pregnant by an alcoholic?
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2015 09:03     Subject: lack of sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Consider it a blessing you have not had a child with this man yet. He needs to address the alcohol issue first, then you can consider having children. If he doesn't, then you need to decide if you want to remain childless and stay with an alcoholic or move on.


He's not necessarily an alcoholic


No, but you are an idiot. A child is something serious. You said you aren't sure if you want one yet are trying for one. You said he loves drinking more than her loves you


Thanks for calling me an idiot. That was kind. I suppose I wanted kids previously but faced with his drinking and fertility treatments I'm having second thoughts.


You need to hear the truth. Seriously, how old are you? You sound very immature


31. How is reconsidering having children immature?