Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heartfelt conversations, date nights, stepping it up sexually - all of that is great but she will keep fantasizing about the other guy because it's a forbidden fruit. I say this as a DW who is infatuated with another person. I will not act on it and your wife won't either, but that fantasy will always be there.

Does your DH know of your infatuation? If not, how would you feel if he did?

NP here in a similar situation. I guess hope he would learn to step his game up in these arenas. He seems to be satsified sexually and romantically by getting in bed and having sex- any kind, just several minutes of grinding away. I'm not. I require some romance, date nights, and foreplay. I wonder how many men have wives who fantasize about others because they aren't satisfying her.

what are YOU doing to be attractive to him? it's a 2-way street babe and the me, me, me attitude isn't going to do you any favors - suggest you read the threads on the explicit forum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heartfelt conversations, date nights, stepping it up sexually - all of that is great but she will keep fantasizing about the other guy because it's a forbidden fruit. I say this as a DW who is infatuated with another person. I will not act on it and your wife won't either, but that fantasy will always be there.

Does your DH know of your infatuation? If not, how would you feel if he did?

NP here in a similar situation. I guess hope he would learn to step his game up in these arenas. He seems to be satsified sexually and romantically by getting in bed and having sex- any kind, just several minutes of grinding away. I'm not. I require some romance, date nights, and foreplay. I wonder how many men have wives who fantasize about others because they aren't satisfying her.

This. Sex is sex. I like it, but it becomes a chore if I'm not being romanced. Just wanting my body doesn't make me feel desired, it makes me feel like a means to an end. Take some time out of the bedroom to make me feel loved and wanted for more than a warm wet hole.

Exactly. I am not a masturbation aid. It takes 20 mins of foreplay for most women to become fully aroused and get the natural lube that will make sex feel the best. I wonder how many men who complain about sexless marriage give their women 20 min of foreplay each time- I am guessing very few.

you must be newbie - here in DCUM-landia, it's always the man's fault. thought that was info was the welcoming packet when you were given your man-hating card

I was DW in this exact situation, but the evidence was email to a friend, not an overhead call.

He confronted me and it was like waking up. He was angry, but also clearly sad and scared. I saw that, and I instantly realized how ridiculous I was being and what I was risking for a stupid fantasy.

His courage in sitting me down and talking saved me and probably us.

Talk to her.

Tell her you overheard the conversation and it upset you...not because you don't trust her, but simply because it hurt you to hear her talking about another man like that. Tell her you love her so much and are willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. Then, coitus.

How did you overhear it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heartfelt conversations, date nights, stepping it up sexually - all of that is great but she will keep fantasizing about the other guy because it's a forbidden fruit. I say this as a DW who is infatuated with another person. I will not act on it and your wife won't either, but that fantasy will always be there.

Does your DH know of your infatuation? If not, how would you feel if he did?

NP here in a similar situation. I guess hope he would learn to step his game up in these arenas. He seems to be satsified sexually and romantically by getting in bed and having sex- any kind, just several minutes of grinding away. I'm not. I require some romance, date nights, and foreplay. I wonder how many men have wives who fantasize about others because they aren't satisfying her.

This. Sex is sex. I like it, but it becomes a chore if I'm not being romanced. Just wanting my body doesn't make me feel desired, it makes me feel like a means to an end. Take some time out of the bedroom to make me feel loved and wanted for more than a warm wet hole.

Exactly. I am not a masturbation aid. It takes 20 mins of foreplay for most women to become fully aroused and get the natural lube that will make sex feel the best. I wonder how many men who complain about sexless marriage give their women 20 min of foreplay each time- I am guessing very few.

I agree to step up your game but NOT in the way PP mentioned. That's just yuck and will make her LESS sexually attracted to you.

The best thing you can do is work on yourself to make yourself a sexy beast.

Get in shape, join a gym, get a great haircut, develop an interest, a hobby, somewhere to be and people to see. Start learning a new language etc.

I don't know if your marriage can be saved, but this will help you gain confidence and perspective and may reignite some of the attraction your wife once held for you.

Don't be a dick, but do NOT be solicitous. No flowers, chocolates etc . Sad to say that stuff will just seem clingy to your wife right now.

The reality is that you cannot compete with a fantasy, none of us can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heartfelt conversations, date nights, stepping it up sexually - all of that is great but she will keep fantasizing about the other guy because it's a forbidden fruit. I say this as a DW who is infatuated with another person. I will not act on it and your wife won't either, but that fantasy will always be there.

Does your DH know of your infatuation? If not, how would you feel if he did?

NP here in a similar situation. I guess hope he would learn to step his game up in these arenas. He seems to be satsified sexually and romantically by getting in bed and having sex- any kind, just several minutes of grinding away. I'm not. I require some romance, date nights, and foreplay. I wonder how many men have wives who fantasize about others because they aren't satisfying her.

This. Sex is sex. I like it, but it becomes a chore if I'm not being romanced. Just wanting my body doesn't make me feel desired, it makes me feel like a means to an end. Take some time out of the bedroom to make me feel loved and wanted for more than a warm wet hole.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heartfelt conversations, date nights, stepping it up sexually - all of that is great but she will keep fantasizing about the other guy because it's a forbidden fruit. I say this as a DW who is infatuated with another person. I will not act on it and your wife won't either, but that fantasy will always be there.

Does your DH know of your infatuation? If not, how would you feel if he did?

NP here in a similar situation. I guess hope he would learn to step his game up in these arenas. He seems to be satsified sexually and romantically by getting in bed and having sex- any kind, just several minutes of grinding away. I'm not. I require some romance, date nights, and foreplay. I wonder how many men have wives who fantasize about others because they aren't satisfying her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you satisfying her sexually? That's huge issue here and you don't provide that context.

Agree. Sorry to say, but this would not be an issue if she were sexually satisfied.

Louis CK said it best:

(You can skip to the 5 min mark for the replant bit, though it's all relevant)

Ugh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGgS5GVCZwI&spfreload=10

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but are you saying your wife had this conversation with her friend despite knowing you were in the same house? Really? And she had it by phone rather than in person?

I'm sorry if this is a real situation. If it is, she doesn't much care about the possibility of you over hearing.

If not, I will look for this plot in an upcoming novel or movie.

x2000000!

Does your wife not own a cell? This is the kind of convo you save for when you are out of the house and alone.

Anonymous wrote:
Are you satisfying her sexually? That's huge issue here and you don't provide that context.

Agree. Sorry to say, but this would not be an issue if she were sexually satisfied.

Louis CK said it best:


(You can skip to the 5 min mark for the replant bit, though it's all relevant)

I'm sorry, but are you saying your wife had this conversation with her friend despite knowing you were in the same house? Really? And she had it by phone rather than in person?

I'm sorry if this is a real situation. If it is, she doesn't much care about the possibility of you over hearing.

If not, I will look for this plot in an upcoming novel or movie.

Whether or not you were supposed to hear the conversation or not, you did hear it and that cannot be changed now.

So what you need to do now is move forward.

If it were me, I couldn't keep this knowledge inside. I would have to disclose what I know. And I think it is healthy if you do the same.

Obviously she will deny going after another man. But I see your concerns. That is why now is the time for you both to sit down and have a good talk.

Is there something specific in your marriage that she feels is missing that perhaps is driving her thoughts to other men? Let her know that she can talk freely with you about this without you getting angry with her.

Hopefully you two can communicate about this and you can leave this conversation confident that this was just a little fantasy and nothing more.

Good luck to both of you.

Anonymous wrote:Heartfelt conversations, date nights, stepping it up sexually - all of that is great but she will keep fantasizing about the other guy because it's a forbidden fruit. I say this as a DW who is infatuated with another person. I will not act on it and your wife won't either, but that fantasy will always be there.

Does your DH know of your infatuation? If not, how would you feel if he did?