Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 08:51     Subject: Re:Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Break the lease and move out. I doubt he will change.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 08:51     Subject: Re:Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Break the lease and move out. I doubt he will change.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 07:47     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Stop paying the bill
Break the lease
Move out
Rent a room out of a house or a basement so that you can keep costs low until you get out of debt.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 07:40     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Anonymous wrote:Contact your landlord and ask what you need to do to break the lease. Then do that. Get out. Rent a new place.

That, or tell the boyfriend he has until March 1st to either get a full time permanent job or move out.

You're not crazy. It's very odd. And having ADHD is not an excuse for not having a job. He's using you/



Plus 1. I am sorry, but I agree...good advice here....and, GOOD LUCK to you...it must be difficult....
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 07:37     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Anonymous wrote:Get out of the relationship. Break the lease. Don't even bother about waiting till March 1. Leave now. Move in w a friend and break the lease.


This
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 07:25     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
On the money side, look into Dave Ramsey for ideas on cutting back and prioritizing your payments (rent, food, utilities first, cc minimums after that if you can afford it). Cancel cable, don't eat out.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 07:11     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
July isn't that long off. You need a place to live. Might as well suck it up and stay.

But if you can't, breaking a lease is not as hard as you imagine. The landlord can charge you for a month or two but he has the obligation to do all he can to re-rent in a reasonable time frame. Also, some areas have lots of leeway in terms of ending a lease. Sometimes unemployment is enough reason.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 06:58     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Anonymous wrote:I need honest DCUM feedback here because im in deep relationship shit...

I moved in with my boyfriend if 2 1/2 years last May and I have no words for the massive change in his behavior. He was unhappy with his job in information technology so I told him to look for a different job. I stupidly told him to quit and look for another job and id carry the bills until he found something new. Im fucked because he ran with it...he quit his job immediately in September and since then has been working seasonal IT jobs. Im freaking paying all the bills. When I tell him im not paying his bills anymore he tries to guilt trip me and minimize his unemployment. He spends his time apparently job searching and playing guitar, video games, planning weekly role playing game get togethers with his odd friends. Dude spent two months making his Halloween costume instead of job searching.WTF?!? I didnt know this side of him exited until I moved in with him. I thought his geek interests were quirky and odd before I moved in with him but damn...its ALL he talks about. Hes not swinging into action to get stable employment. He tells ne im overreacting and that hes "doing all he can" to find work...he cant make employers hire him. He had a fulltime job the entire time we've been together...until I moved in with him.

I get that im in a fucked up situation here. But im locked into a lease with this guy, live several hours from my family and am now in debt. I dont know what the fuck to do to get out. He sleeps during the day. He also just took out a loan to finish his degree...but when I ask how school is going he tells me im being intrusive.

I didn't know this side of him until now. I knew he had some geeky interests but FFS, its all he talks about. I knew he wasn't the most responsible guy but I didn't think he was THIS MASSIVELY IRRESPONSIBLE. Strange thong is that hes VERY bright and at least in high school (hes 25 now) he was pretty driven...graduated near top of his class, offered several scholarships, never missed school. He dropped out of the first and second colleges he went to. Said he was sent a letter by his university telling him mot to come back. He also made some "joking" remark that creeper me the f/&( out a couple weeks ago "I had a dream the other night that I chopped you up and stuck you in a suitcase...hahaha"

I feel like I cant get out...i feel literally trapped...help...what the fuck do I do?

Wtf is wrong with this guy and how the duck to I get out of here? Im employed, stuck in a lease until July, am going further into debt and won't have good credit to get my own place...if I stop paying his bills (ie rent, utilities) my credit gets ruined even more. No one in his little circle of odd friends and no one in his family seems to think this is odd. I see a therapist and the therapist says hes a dreamer...its all part of having A DHD (He was dx with. It as a kid but takes no meds for it). My relationship with my parents is strained...

WTF do I do?


Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 06:56     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Anonymous wrote:Not the end of the world. You could be married and have a child. Some good advice given. Downsize all monthly bills like cable etc and give him an ultimatum regarding job hunting. Tell him you are out of money. BTW, how long is your lease?


Read the original post again. It's right there.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 06:55     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Lots of good advice here. Let's summarize:

1. Cut off the cable and internet NOW.
2. Contact your landlord to set up an appointment to see what you can do.
3. Dump your therapist.
4. If you have any joint accounts or credit cards, empty and cancel them. NOW.
5. If landlord cannot work it out, break the lease. Stop worrying about your credit. You are young and will get it back. What's most important is that you get out.
6. Stop buying groceries for him.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 06:53     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
How is the sex
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 06:45     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Not the end of the world. You could be married and have a child. Some good advice given. Downsize all monthly bills like cable etc and give him an ultimatum regarding job hunting. Tell him you are out of money. BTW, how long is your lease?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 01:55     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
OP, out of curiosity: what do you find appealing about this guy? Your description doesn't paint a flattering picture. What are you getting out of this?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 01:50     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Anonymous wrote:Your debt isn't different with him or without him. Do you want him? Then accept part of the deal is you earn the money and dont whine about it. If you can't live with being the breadwinner, then pay the money to get out of the lease, make arrangements to pay off debt, and get on with your life. Dude isn't going to change.


He probably will change. It's just going to take years.

He's only 25. Based on the OPs description, he'll be well into his 30s before he gets his s--t together. OP probably should just move on and find a guy who is a bit further along in the maturity process.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 01:34     Subject: Hes unemployed...wtf is wrong here?
Er, the part about him having a dream where he chopped you up? That would have me running. And I'll put up with some crazy shit. Just get out now. His issues are ruining your life. He can live on someone else's dime while he sorts himself out.