Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* I meant to say we do not talk about it. I am not going to parade my dad as an abuser to my in-laws as much as I loathe what he made my mother go through and what we had to witness as children.

You don't need to go into the details of anything.

You are really over-reacting and focusing on the wrong issue here.

How is it in-laws business especially if there is stigma associated with divorce?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. Your sister shouldn't have said a thing to anyone. These are your in-laws, not hers.

Exactly! Someone here is seeing my point.

But, what? ... you're sister did it to hurt you? I doubt it. I think it's a consequence of you delaying things too long (and over-thinking it). Don't take out your hurt and frustrations on your sister.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. Your sister shouldn't have said a thing to anyone. These are your in-laws, not hers.

Exactly! Someone here is seeing my point.

Some other people here see your point too. We just don't agree. Especially not with the degree of anger you are showing towards your sister over this.

Anonymous wrote:* I meant to say we do not talk about it. I am not going to parade my dad as an abuser to my in-laws as much as I loathe what he made my mother go through and what we had to witness as children.

The problem is that you believe you own this situation and that you ought to be able to control it. You think you ought to be able to control who tells your dad what and when; who tells your in-laws what and when. That is why you feel this is a violation. Your sister told your dad that your inlaws are in town. That's it. She's not really out of her place to be doing this and doesn't have to run it by you first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. Your sister shouldn't have said a thing to anyone. These are your in-laws, not hers.

Exactly! Someone here is seeing my point.

Is that a reason to "hate" your sister and refer to her as "this woman."

Your parents sound screwy and have made you bear the burden of their mess. Release it. It's not your problem.

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. Your sister shouldn't have said a thing to anyone. These are your in-laws, not hers.

Exactly! Someone here is seeing my point.

Anonymous wrote:* I meant to say we do not talk about it. I am not going to parade my dad as an abuser to my in-laws as much as I loathe what he made my mother go through and what we had to witness as children.

You don't need to go into the details of anything.

You are really over-reacting and focusing on the wrong issue here.

What is wrong with your sister mentioning to your dad that your in-laws are in town? I see you wanted more time to work out how they meet, but you didn't really have that time. They probably don't want to appear rude. I think you need to apologize to your sister.

* I meant to say we do not talk about it. I am not going to parade my dad as an abuser to my in-laws as much as I loathe what he made my mother go through and what we had to witness as children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize you could have headed a lot of this off before they visited. Why didn't you tell them your parents are separated and it's been kept quiet as your parent's request. You are mad, but it is not your sister's fault. You could have gotten out in front of this mess and cut it off before it even became an issue.

Now you are going to make them think you are hiding things from them.

I am sorry English is not my first language but I am trying the best I can. My parents in-law visit was planned for May this year but they had reschedule due to an emergency. I have been talking with my mom about it for a while but like I said she requested for more time. I still do not see why my sister went ahead to call my dad to inform him my in-laws were in town and what not. It is not her place.

Maybe. But it's also not a serious crime. It would be kind of weird not to mention it when talking among family.

What your sister did was not that big a deal.

I get it, OP. Your sister shouldn't have said a thing to anyone. These are your in-laws, not hers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize you could have headed a lot of this off before they visited. Why didn't you tell them your parents are separated and it's been kept quiet as your parent's request. You are mad, but it is not your sister's fault. You could have gotten out in front of this mess and cut it off before it even became an issue.

Now you are going to make them think you are hiding things from them.

I am sorry English is not my first language but I am trying the best I can. My parents in-law visit was planned for May this year but they had reschedule due to an emergency. I have been talking with my mom about it for a while but like I said she requested for more time. I still do not see why my sister went ahead to call my dad to inform him my in-laws were in town and what not. It is not her place.

Maybe. But it's also not a serious crime. It would be kind of weird not to mention it when talking among family.

We sort of just talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize you could have headed a lot of this off before they visited. Why didn't you tell them your parents are separated and it's been kept quiet as your parent's request. You are mad, but it is not your sister's fault. You could have gotten out in front of this mess and cut it off before it even became an issue.

Now you are going to make them think you are hiding things from them.

I am sorry English is not my first language but I am trying the best I can. My parents in-law visit was planned for May this year but they had reschedule due to an emergency. I have been talking with my mom about it for a while but like I said she requested for more time. I still do not see why my sister went ahead to call my dad to inform him my in-laws were in town and what not. It is not her place.

Maybe. But it's also not a serious crime. It would be kind of weird not to mention it when talking among family.

Anonymous wrote:You realize you could have headed a lot of this off before they visited. Why didn't you tell them your parents are separated and it's been kept quiet as your parent's request. You are mad, but it is not your sister's fault. You could have gotten out in front of this mess and cut it off before it even became an issue.

Now you are going to make them think you are hiding things from them.

I am sorry English is not my first language but I am trying the best I can. My parents in-law visit was planned for May this year but they had reschedule due to an emergency. I have been talking with my mom about it for a while but like I said she requested for more time. I still do not see why my sister went ahead to call my dad to inform him my in-laws were in town and what not. It is not her place.

I think you need to let the cat out of the bag. The secrecy is adding a lot of unnecessary stress and drama.